How would you react...

**Sean P Kelly** · 02-07-2006, 07:06 AM

...if a girl you really liked in High School, who you never really had contact with for nearly 5 years (minus one breif encounter last May) suddenly adds you as a friend in her Facebook (which was created a little over a week after yours)?

Personally, I had one very sleepless night (mostly a result of conflicting emotions, since I made an attempt to get over her LONG ago).

Link2000 · 02-07-2006, 08:27 AM

You might as well talk to her and catch up.

**Sean P Kelly** · 02-07-2006, 08:36 AM

Maybe. But since I go to York University, while she goes to the University of Toronto (which are literally at opposite ends of the city), there is little chance of me seeing her in person. Though, yeah, e-mail isn't out of the question.

Koga · 02-07-2006, 10:03 AM

Toronto can't be that big

Or do you mean, that there is little chance of aciddentally bumping into her? Surely you could arrange to meet?

***CaptHayfever*** · 02-07-2006, 11:14 AM

Friendship, live it, love it. She clearly remembers you in a positive light*, so just talk to her & see how things are going.

*(Unless, of course, she's one of those Facebook addicts who adds anyone they've ever met for no reason other than to increase their friend count. But I'm assuming the best here.)

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

**Sean P Kelly** · 02-07-2006, 04:14 PM

^ I strongly believe it's the former.

However, except for a brief 30-second encounter in the mall last May (which was just as unexpected as this facebook addition), I have been out of contact with her for nearly 5 years.

I wouldn't know where to start.

Sarai and Samiel · 02-07-2006, 08:12 PM

Start by mentioning that you noticed she'd added you (which will look good as an intro- it shows you pay attention to what's around you), and then try asking about what she's been up to for the last few years.

If nothing else, she sees you as a friend, at least, which means you might as well try having a conversation. And most people (self included) like nothing more than being asked to talk about something they know, including themself. Don't worry about the length of time it's been since you last saw her at all, just acknowledge it and see if you can't use it for conversation fodder.

At worst, you'll meet the one time and talk and find out that you really only can be acquaintances or friends (at least, barring you make some hideous social gaffe, which, from how worried you sound, seems less likely than you never getting up the nerve to go ahead and talk...), and even then the fact that you're acknowledging each others' existence will be a good thing.

**Sean P Kelly** · 02-07-2006, 09:14 PM

I don't really want to rush into re-making contact (especially since I have a lot of conflicting feelings about it).

I left a message on her message wall after she added me and that's good enough for now.

Link2000 · 02-07-2006, 09:50 PM

Here's what I think you should do:

Call her up, and say you want to get together sometime just to catch up. I'd suggest going somewhere relaxed liek a coffee shop. Absolutley nothing terrible can happen, after all you haven't been talking to her anyway. If you find it akward or boring then you should hopefully see that it's not gonna work.

Hey, don't worry about being accross the city. It's not like she goes to Mac or something.

Erdawn Il Deus · 02-10-2006, 01:14 PM

You could always, you know, find some balls? Just, you know, go Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and get yourself a pair of testicles? That could work.

**Sean P Kelly** · 02-10-2006, 04:26 PM

I want to clear up some things. I only knew her during my final year of High School when we were on the student council together (I should add that I was a grade ahead of her). I liked her for the whole year and I would hang out with her a lot (especially during the second semester when we had the same lunch break).

I wanted to ask her to the prom, but I never had the courage/chance (I didn't see her much during the last month of school) to. Basically it's that fact, which became my biggest regret of high school.

I eventually got over her and I didn't see or hear from her until last May, where I ran into her at the mall. It was a very short "Hi, how are you, ok bye" conversation and I thought that would be the final time I would see her.

So, I was very shocked when I saw she added me as a friend on Facebook (she probably found me, though the listing of our high school). However, realistically, I don't see us reigniting our friendship unless she contacts me saying she wants to.

I don't want to invade on her life (especially since she has a boyfriend now) and I am just flattered enough that she added me to her friends list.

In my life I currently have feelings for someone else (who, ironically, is the person who told me to join facebook) and I just hope something comes out of that (you would know all about my problems with that relationship in my other topic)

02-07-2006, 07:06 AM	#1
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,352 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 196,796.16 Bank: 117,800.90 Total Points: 314,597.06 Donate	How would you react... ...if a girl you really liked in High School, who you never really had contact with for nearly 5 years (minus one breif encounter last May) suddenly adds you as a friend in her Facebook (which was created a little over a week after yours)? Personally, I had one very sleepless night (mostly a result of conflicting emotions, since I made an attempt to get over her LONG ago).

02-07-2006, 08:27 AM	#2
Link2000 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Posts: 8,052 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Points: 16,908.15 Bank: 804.22 Total Points: 17,712.37 Donate	You might as well talk to her and catch up.

02-07-2006, 08:36 AM	#3
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,352 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 196,796.16 Bank: 117,800.90 Total Points: 314,597.06 Donate	Maybe. But since I go to York University, while she goes to the University of Toronto (which are literally at opposite ends of the city), there is little chance of me seeing her in person. Though, yeah, e-mail isn't out of the question.

02-07-2006, 10:03 AM	#4
Koga Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Posts: 17,095 Thanks: 104 Thanked 185 Times in 117 Posts Points: 107,861.07 Bank: 21,640.09 Total Points: 129,501.16 Donate	Toronto can't be that big Or do you mean, that there is little chance of aciddentally bumping into her? Surely you could arrange to meet?

02-07-2006, 11:14 AM	#5
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,804 Thanks: 265 Thanked 944 Times in 575 Posts Points: 118,222.15 Bank: 1,884.44 Total Points: 120,106.58 Donate	Friendship, live it, love it. She clearly remembers you in a positive light, so just talk to her & see how things are going. (Unless, of course, she's one of those Facebook addicts who adds anyone they've ever met for no reason other than to increase their friend count. But I'm assuming the best here.) And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

02-07-2006, 04:14 PM	#6
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,352 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 196,796.16 Bank: 117,800.90 Total Points: 314,597.06 Donate	^ I strongly believe it's the former. However, except for a brief 30-second encounter in the mall last May (which was just as unexpected as this facebook addition), I have been out of contact with her for nearly 5 years. I wouldn't know where to start.

02-07-2006, 08:12 PM	#7
Sarai and Samiel Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Aisle 12, between the kumquats and the radicchio. Gender: Posts: 2,285 Thanks: 163 Thanked 124 Times in 86 Posts Points: 3,502.97 Bank: 94,171.35 Total Points: 97,674.32 Donate	Start by mentioning that you noticed she'd added you (which will look good as an intro- it shows you pay attention to what's around you), and then try asking about what she's been up to for the last few years. If nothing else, she sees you as a friend, at least, which means you might as well try having a conversation. And most people (self included) like nothing more than being asked to talk about something they know, including themself. Don't worry about the length of time it's been since you last saw her at all, just acknowledge it and see if you can't use it for conversation fodder. At worst, you'll meet the one time and talk and find out that you really only can be acquaintances or friends (at least, barring you make some hideous social gaffe, which, from how worried you sound, seems less likely than you never getting up the nerve to go ahead and talk...), and even then the fact that you're acknowledging each others' existence will be a good thing.

02-07-2006, 09:14 PM	#8
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,352 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 196,796.16 Bank: 117,800.90 Total Points: 314,597.06 Donate	I don't really want to rush into re-making contact (especially since I have a lot of conflicting feelings about it). I left a message on her message wall after she added me and that's good enough for now.

02-07-2006, 09:50 PM	#9
Link2000 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Posts: 8,052 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Points: 16,908.15 Bank: 804.22 Total Points: 17,712.37 Donate	Here's what I think you should do: Call her up, and say you want to get together sometime just to catch up. I'd suggest going somewhere relaxed liek a coffee shop. Absolutley nothing terrible can happen, after all you haven't been talking to her anyway. If you find it akward or boring then you should hopefully see that it's not gonna work. Hey, don't worry about being accross the city. It's not like she goes to Mac or something.

02-10-2006, 01:14 PM	#10
Erdawn Il Deus Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Threading the jeweled thrones of earth under my sandalled feet Gender: Posts: 2,990 Thanks: 4 Thanked 45 Times in 39 Posts Points: 23,796.11 Bank: 788.45 Total Points: 24,584.56 Donate	You could always, you know, find some balls? Just, you know, go Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and get yourself a pair of testicles? That could work.

02-10-2006, 04:26 PM	#11
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,352 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 196,796.16 Bank: 117,800.90 Total Points: 314,597.06 Donate	I want to clear up some things. I only knew her during my final year of High School when we were on the student council together (I should add that I was a grade ahead of her). I liked her for the whole year and I would hang out with her a lot (especially during the second semester when we had the same lunch break). I wanted to ask her to the prom, but I never had the courage/chance (I didn't see her much during the last month of school) to. Basically it's that fact, which became my biggest regret of high school. I eventually got over her and I didn't see or hear from her until last May, where I ran into her at the mall. It was a very short "Hi, how are you, ok bye" conversation and I thought that would be the final time I would see her. So, I was very shocked when I saw she added me as a friend on Facebook (she probably found me, though the listing of our high school). However, realistically, I don't see us reigniting our friendship unless she contacts me saying she wants to. I don't want to invade on her life (especially since she has a boyfriend now) and I am just flattered enough that she added me to her friends list. In my life I currently have feelings for someone else (who, ironically, is the person who told me to join facebook) and I just hope something comes out of that (you would know all about my problems with that relationship in my other topic)