Hmm... how to deliver bad news to someone?? - VGF

Bomby von FACEville · 08-31-2006, 05:39 PM

There's this kid from my old little town that I reside in during the summer. He wants to be a rapper and a producer, but he has absolutely no rhythm, and judging by the looks of it, it doesn't look like he's bound to develop a feel for it anytime soon. As anyone who knows anything about music knows, rhythm is easily the most important factor of the creation of music.

The kid thinks he's good, and that he's gonna become rich and famous. He wants to drop out of high school to focus on his music career, but the likeliness that he'll ever make it is beyond minuscule. Because he looks up to me, he keeps telling me about all the stuff he's doing with music and wants me to record his demo. I've tried to record him twice... and I never thought it would be possible to lack rhythm that much.

Now that I'm in Milwaukee, I won't have to deal with his incessant phone calls, but when I'm back home I know they will continue. Despite the fact that he annoys me beyond belief, there's this tiny nagging part of me that actually cares about him and doesn't want to hurt him, but I know that in order for him to achieve what's best for him, I have to step on his dreams...

I just have no clue how to tell him in the nicest way possible.

***Ace Mercury*** · 08-31-2006, 06:47 PM

Tell him straight up what you think. Figuratively copy and paste from your post. Tell this once, and do not argue if he says that you're wrong (e.g., if he says "I'll get better."), but repeat if he asks for your opinion again (e.g. "How do I get better?"). Help him as you would normally (i.e. if you feel like it). Consider telling his parent(s) about your opinion, if applicable.

Ultimately, it's his choice. There is a distinct, non-zero chance that he will make a living doing what he (apparently) loves, and it is his right to pursue this dream. Unfortunately, he may think about rushing into this without a backup plan (e.g. a diploma).

The Doctor · 09-01-2006, 12:08 PM

I'm afraid you have to be cruel to be kind. So ya have to be blunt to him.

CuccoLady · 09-03-2006, 10:44 PM

Big Daddy · 09-12-2006, 02:36 PM

tell him straight

Swordmaster Link · 09-12-2006, 05:03 PM

^ ...

***Ace Mercury*** · 09-12-2006, 09:43 PM

^^ Mildly entertaining. Plus one for effort, but minus a brazillion for bumping a kinda old thread, not actually contributing to the thread, and bad formatting.

Curly Brace · 09-12-2006, 10:17 PM

Daos provides me humor.

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 09-13-2006, 02:38 PM

What helps is if you avoid trying to wrap yourself around the whole problem. Take it one aspect at a time. For example, even if you don't tell him your opinion about his music, encourage him to get his diploma. If that doesn't work, force him to get his diploma.

Be careful telling him he's a bad musician. Nothing is more devastating to a musician, whether good or bad, than being told you're terrible.

Bomby von FACEville · 09-13-2006, 03:01 PM

I hate it when people edit the meaning out of posts before I get a chance too see it. Oh well.

08-31-2006, 05:39 PM	#1
Bomby von FACEville VGF's Unsung Hero Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Mad City, WI Gender: Posts: 14,316 Thanks: 188 Thanked 415 Times in 294 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 1,259.35 Bank: 1,650,935.26 Total Points: 1,652,194.62 Donate	Hmm... how to deliver bad news to someone?? There's this kid from my old little town that I reside in during the summer. He wants to be a rapper and a producer, but he has absolutely no rhythm, and judging by the looks of it, it doesn't look like he's bound to develop a feel for it anytime soon. As anyone who knows anything about music knows, rhythm is easily the most important factor of the creation of music. The kid thinks he's good, and that he's gonna become rich and famous. He wants to drop out of high school to focus on his music career, but the likeliness that he'll ever make it is beyond minuscule. Because he looks up to me, he keeps telling me about all the stuff he's doing with music and wants me to record his demo. I've tried to record him twice... and I never thought it would be possible to lack rhythm that much. Now that I'm in Milwaukee, I won't have to deal with his incessant phone calls, but when I'm back home I know they will continue. Despite the fact that he annoys me beyond belief, there's this tiny nagging part of me that actually cares about him and doesn't want to hurt him, but I know that in order for him to achieve what's best for him, I have to step on his dreams... I just have no clue how to tell him in the nicest way possible.

08-31-2006, 06:47 PM	#2
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,867 Thanks: 356 Thanked 1,469 Times in 769 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 94,599.87 Bank: 10,210,130.19 Total Points: 10,304,730.06 Donate	What I would do Tell him straight up what you think. Figuratively copy and paste from your post. Tell this once, and do not argue if he says that you're wrong (e.g., if he says "I'll get better."), but repeat if he asks for your opinion again (e.g. "How do I get better?"). Help him as you would normally (i.e. if you feel like it). Consider telling his parent(s) about your opinion, if applicable. Ultimately, it's his choice. There is a distinct, non-zero chance that he will make a living doing what he (apparently) loves, and it is his right to pursue this dream. Unfortunately, he may think about rushing into this without a backup plan (e.g. a diploma).

09-12-2006, 02:36 PM	#5
Big Daddy Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Rapture Gender: Posts: 1,109 Thanks: 25 Thanked 37 Times in 21 Posts Points: 25.00 Bank: 8,652.37 Total Points: 8,677.37 Donate	tell him straight Last edited by Big Daddy; 09-13-2006 at 03:19 PM.

09-12-2006, 09:43 PM	#7
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,867 Thanks: 356 Thanked 1,469 Times in 769 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 94,599.87 Bank: 10,210,130.19 Total Points: 10,304,730.06 Donate	Everyone's a critic. ^^ Mildly entertaining. Plus one for effort, but minus a brazillion for bumping a kinda old thread, not actually contributing to the thread, and bad formatting.

09-12-2006, 10:17 PM	#8
Curly Brace THE ALL AROUND YUMMIEST. Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Maryland Gender: Posts: 5,774 Thanks: 127 Thanked 116 Times in 82 Posts Points: 14,363.93 Bank: 37,251.94 Total Points: 51,615.88 Donate	Daos provides me humor. __________________ WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!

09-01-2006, 12:08 PM	#3
The Doctor Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Tardis Gender: Posts: 11,778 Thanks: 371 Thanked 328 Times in 229 Posts Points: 64,295.22 Bank: 958,066.76 Total Points: 1,022,361.98 Donate	I'm afraid you have to be cruel to be kind. So ya have to be blunt to him.

09-03-2006, 10:44 PM	#4
CuccoLady Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: insert something awkward here Gender: Posts: 4,001 Thanks: 888 Thanked 222 Times in 180 Posts Points: 11,310.74 Bank: 7.67 Total Points: 11,318.41 Donate

09-12-2006, 05:03 PM	#6
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 29,488 Thanks: 211 Thanked 504 Times in 347 Posts Points: 425.64 Bank: 1,050,203.33 Total Points: 1,050,628.97 Donate	^ ...

09-13-2006, 02:38 PM	#9
Princess Zelda of Hyrule Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hyrule Castle Gender: Posts: 6,128 Thanks: 35 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts Points: 6,041.36 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 6,541.36 Donate	What helps is if you avoid trying to wrap yourself around the whole problem. Take it one aspect at a time. For example, even if you don't tell him your opinion about his music, encourage him to get his diploma. If that doesn't work, force him to get his diploma. Be careful telling him he's a bad musician. Nothing is more devastating to a musician, whether good or bad, than being told you're terrible.

09-13-2006, 03:01 PM	#10
Bomby von FACEville VGF's Unsung Hero Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Mad City, WI Gender: Posts: 14,316 Thanks: 188 Thanked 415 Times in 294 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 1,259.35 Bank: 1,650,935.26 Total Points: 1,652,194.62 Donate	I hate it when people edit the meaning out of posts before I get a chance too see it. Oh well.