Where to begin.... - Page 2

Swordmaster Link · 10-02-2006, 12:45 AM

I saw denial ever since your reply to Jay's first post.

**March of the Covenant** · 10-02-2006, 05:28 AM

Love stinks, but what do I know, I'm a Freshman....

**Sean P Kelly** · 10-02-2006, 08:09 AM

Please close this topic, I don't know what I was thinking when I made it.

***CaptHayfever*** · 10-02-2006, 09:11 AM

^Tikal can do what she wants in here, but I, for one, am not closing one of the few serious, personal threads on this site that has managed to stay both sincere and on-topic.

I would try to offer some advice of my own, but my love life is kind of screwed up as well. You've gotten some good counsel from these guys, Sean. Even if you disagree, at least take it to heart.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

**Perrin Aybara** · 10-02-2006, 09:34 AM

Sean...I'm sorry, but I just heard a lot of excuses.

You're too scared to call...she doesn't respond to your text messages...you can't communicate with her on MSN...

Sean. You have her cell phone number. CALL. Stop making excuses.

Dude, I'm scared and nervious talking to people on the phone as well. I hate talking to people on the phone. I'm nervious as hell.

When I called to ask my friend to the prom senior year of high school, it took me FOUR HOURS to get the courage to call her. 4 hours of sitting next to the phone and getting my nerve. 4 hours of gut-wretching torment.

But dammit, I did it. And dammit, I went to the prom with her.

I'm sorry, but we can't help you unless you get the courage to do these things. All of the advice in the world can't help you unless you get the courage to communicate with this girl.

Be direct. Call her. Stop living in this wishy-washy "Oh, maybe I can contact her through such and such...oh...she's not responding...I'll wait and contact her through such and such other thing..." You're just going to torment yourself. You don't deserve that.

Call this girl. Ask her if she wants to see you, and be done with it.

Sean, I'm sorry, I do not intend to sound mean at all. I do not intend to be harsh. And I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to be realistic. I'm trying to be helpful. Please understand that, because I think you're a good friend.-jay

Bomby · 10-02-2006, 11:57 AM

Calling someone, to me at least, is the most nerveracking thing. But think of it this way: would she have given you her phone number if she was thinking "oh, I don't want him calling me. God forbid he tries to actually talk to me."

YOU HAVE HER $%!%ING PHONE NUMBER!!!

Here's a tip that helped me during phone interviews in newspaper class: Don't think about it, let your body do it automatically. Think of the Nike slogan, "just do it." Swallow your fear, even if you have to feed it to yourself from a rusty spoon.

Swordmaster Link · 10-02-2006, 02:26 PM

Subconsciously, I don't think you made this topic to get advice. I think you just made it to prevent yourself from taking action.

**Sean P Kelly** · 10-02-2006, 04:23 PM

No, I made it because of neither.

I just needed to talk to someone.

Romantic feelings aside, last year when I spent time with the person I was able to say for the first time in years that I had a friend.

The fact that she is no longer around on a regular basis has left a void that is making me feel like an emotional wreck. I've been hoping to make friend's in my current classes, but I'm too shy. Heck, I only became friends with this girl because she talked to me, not the other way around!

Starting tommorow, I'm going to be taking a 5-week workshop to get over my shyness. I don't know if it will help, but at this point I am willing to try anything.

However, I just want you to leave me alone and let me try to put my life together on my own.

Swordmaster Link · 10-02-2006, 05:18 PM

Okey dokey.

DJ Ryan · 10-02-2006, 09:47 PM

Alright Sean, and I know you requested no more advice, but I've just come across this and have read most of the posts.

I'll just give you my little bit of advice.

I'm pretty sure you've already taken this incintive, but I believe you should let her know your feelings straight up. No matter how many other girls you try and date and whatnot, she'll still be in the back of your head. That's how I was feeling, I didn't think I could ever date that girl, because I thought our personalities were the same, but the people we hung out with and general attitudes were different. I tried dating other people, just to keep my mind off her, eventually, I noticed that regardless of who I was dating and how much fun I was having, she was STILL back there, in the back of my mind. I finally decided to go after her and bam, I've got her. I went after what I wanted, it took me a while to do it, but I did it, and now I'm happy, even if things don't go right down the road, I know that I at least tried.

That's what you gotta do man, go head strong, do what your mind is telling you. Go headstrong without lowering your head to much, look up so you can see. Good football analogy there

.

Swordmaster Link · 10-02-2006, 10:18 PM

Maybe that's why Vick fumbles so much

BURN

***ZeldaGirl*** · 10-02-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malik Zaki Jamesha

C But think of it this way: would she have given you her phone number if she was thinking "oh, I don't want him calling me. God forbid he tries to actually talk to me."

Interesting you should mention that. The other day, I was trying to comfort a guy friend of mine, and I gave him my number. Little did I know that my kindness was going to lead to an infatuation of creepy proportions, in which now, he calls me twice a day... and I do dread it.

**Sean P Kelly** · 10-03-2006, 05:01 PM

I just want to give a few reasons why I don't call her (which I actually considered more than once):

It's her cell number and not home number and I don't want to call her and she be in a situation where she can't talk
Text-messages are easier for me to get my point across, which brings me to three
I am TERRIBLE at talking at the phone. I phoned my cousin last week and the call was full of pauses as I waited for an openning to say what I wanted. Yesterday, I heard a message I left at home and my voice was all mumbly and I could barely make out what I was saying.
Then of course is that fact that I'm shy and that she would probably have to call me before I'm comfortable enough to call her.

I should point out, that I DID try calling the number once, but I was too nervous and I dialed the wrong number (it didn't help that I always froze on the last digit every time I dialed)

DJ Ryan · 10-03-2006, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swordmaster Link

Maybe that's why Vick fumbles so much

BURN

Hey, we're 3-1.

What are you?

Thank you

Demonicus Prime · 10-03-2006, 05:10 PM

This may sound dumb, but if you don't want to call her cell, ask her for her home phone. Ya gotta go to plan B if A doesen't work.

Lurch1982 · 10-03-2006, 05:12 PM

Ok seriously, the only advice worth a crap in this topic is from Jay. I agree with him, All I've seen is a whole slew of excuses.

We get you're shy, we get the phone makes you nervous. As Malik said, just do it.

I hate(d) doing phone interviews/orders/whatever, I hate meet-and-greets, and I hate doing formal functions with a herd of people I don't know or care about. I bite the bullet and just do it. Its really easy to get things rolling...you just need to start.

I think you're missing the point of the advice being lobbed at you. You're not going to get a surefire fix, nor can you force someone to like you. What Jay (and a few others are saying) is that it would be much better for you to at least put it to rest by confronting it.

You can't go through life waiting for people to call you, find you, or just randomly stumble onto you. If you do that, you're going to have a miserable, lonely life. You need to be proactive. If you really do have serious problems in social situations to the point where it just isn't a possibility, you may want to seek professional help. I'm not trying to insult you, I'm being serious. If you seriously have a problem functioning in the real, social world, you need to seek some form of help.

Sidenote: I wasn't aware anyone used MSN.

Andre: you lost to the Saints on Monday night and looked foolish. Hush.

**Perrin Aybara** · 10-03-2006, 06:30 PM

"You can't go through life waiting for people to call you, find you, or just randomly stumble onto you."

That's great advice. It's something that I have to remind myself constantly. You have to give something in order to get anything back.

And Sean, I'm sorry, but I just heard:

1. Excuse. Dude...that's why people have these stupid cell phones. If they didn't want to be bothered, they'd turn them off, or wouldn't get a cell phone. Terrible excuse.
2. Excuse. I personally believe that text messaging will never be as personal as talking to a person face-to-face or on the phone. Texting is a very impersonal form of communication.
3. Excuse. We've already gone over this before. Many people don't like talking on the phone. But you just have to do it. 99% of the problem is in your head. If you're too nervious to talk to this girl, how can a relationship ever work?
4. Excuse. Like Lurch said, you're going to be waiting around forever if you're going to be waiting for other people to take the initiative. Be proactive, dammit.

-jay

Swordmaster Link · 10-03-2006, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubber Band Man

Hey, we're 3-1.

What are you?

Thank you

stfu

**Sean P Kelly** · 10-04-2006, 09:19 AM

Talk about rotten luck.

I finally recieved a text message from her trying to arrange a meet-up.....and it so happens that I won't be going to school today because my only class is cancelled.

10-03-2006, 05:01 PM	#33
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,350 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 195,867.68 Bank: 115,491.08 Total Points: 311,358.75 Donate	I just want to give a few reasons why I don't call her (which I actually considered more than once): It's her cell number and not home number and I don't want to call her and she be in a situation where she can't talk Text-messages are easier for me to get my point across, which brings me to three I am TERRIBLE at talking at the phone. I phoned my cousin last week and the call was full of pauses as I waited for an openning to say what I wanted. Yesterday, I heard a message I left at home and my voice was all mumbly and I could barely make out what I was saying. Then of course is that fact that I'm shy and that she would probably have to call me before I'm comfortable enough to call her. I should point out, that I DID try calling the number once, but I was too nervous and I dialed the wrong number (it didn't help that I always froze on the last digit every time I dialed)

10-02-2006, 12:45 AM	#21
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 30,880 Thanks: 234 Thanked 768 Times in 543 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 781.18 Bank: 2,078,289.05 Total Points: 2,079,070.23 Donate	I saw denial ever since your reply to Jay's first post.

10-02-2006, 05:28 AM	#22
March of the Covenant Mr. 4.0 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: On a deserted island Gender: Posts: 11,187 Thanks: 876 Thanked 379 Times in 258 Posts Points: 26,188.24 Bank: 205,446.63 Total Points: 231,634.87 Donate	Love stinks, but what do I know, I'm a Freshman....

10-02-2006, 08:09 AM	#23
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,350 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 195,867.68 Bank: 115,491.08 Total Points: 311,358.75 Donate	Please close this topic, I don't know what I was thinking when I made it.

10-02-2006, 09:11 AM	#24
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,787 Thanks: 238 Thanked 943 Times in 574 Posts Points: 117,619.41 Bank: 1,847.49 Total Points: 119,466.90 Donate	^Tikal can do what she wants in here, but I, for one, am not closing one of the few serious, personal threads on this site that has managed to stay both sincere and on-topic. I would try to offer some advice of my own, but my love life is kind of screwed up as well. You've gotten some good counsel from these guys, Sean. Even if you disagree, at least take it to heart. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

10-02-2006, 09:34 AM	#25
Perrin Aybara LLLUUUCCCCCCAAA!!! Ban HotD Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: Alone....so terribly alone... Some... where... out... there... dies Gender: Posts: 11,840 Thanks: 187 Thanked 375 Times in 183 Posts Points: 42,546.49 Bank: 203,658.03 Total Points: 246,204.52 Donate	Sean...I'm sorry, but I just heard a lot of excuses. You're too scared to call...she doesn't respond to your text messages...you can't communicate with her on MSN... Sean. You have her cell phone number. CALL. Stop making excuses. Dude, I'm scared and nervious talking to people on the phone as well. I hate talking to people on the phone. I'm nervious as hell. When I called to ask my friend to the prom senior year of high school, it took me FOUR HOURS to get the courage to call her. 4 hours of sitting next to the phone and getting my nerve. 4 hours of gut-wretching torment. But dammit, I did it. And dammit, I went to the prom with her. I'm sorry, but we can't help you unless you get the courage to do these things. All of the advice in the world can't help you unless you get the courage to communicate with this girl. Be direct. Call her. Stop living in this wishy-washy "Oh, maybe I can contact her through such and such...oh...she's not responding...I'll wait and contact her through such and such other thing..." You're just going to torment yourself. You don't deserve that. Call this girl. Ask her if she wants to see you, and be done with it. Sean, I'm sorry, I do not intend to sound mean at all. I do not intend to be harsh. And I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to be realistic. I'm trying to be helpful. Please understand that, because I think you're a good friend.-jay

10-02-2006, 11:57 AM	#26
Bomby Condescending Film Jerk Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,385 Thanks: 230 Thanked 679 Times in 431 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 5,139.79 Bank: 3,743,200.94 Total Points: 3,748,340.74 Donate	Calling someone, to me at least, is the most nerveracking thing. But think of it this way: would she have given you her phone number if she was thinking "oh, I don't want him calling me. God forbid he tries to actually talk to me." YOU HAVE HER $%!%ING PHONE NUMBER!!! Here's a tip that helped me during phone interviews in newspaper class: Don't think about it, let your body do it automatically. Think of the Nike slogan, "just do it." Swallow your fear, even if you have to feed it to yourself from a rusty spoon.

10-02-2006, 02:26 PM	#27
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 30,880 Thanks: 234 Thanked 768 Times in 543 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 781.18 Bank: 2,078,289.05 Total Points: 2,079,070.23 Donate	Subconsciously, I don't think you made this topic to get advice. I think you just made it to prevent yourself from taking action.

10-02-2006, 04:23 PM	#28
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,350 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 195,867.68 Bank: 115,491.08 Total Points: 311,358.75 Donate	No, I made it because of neither. I just needed to talk to someone. Romantic feelings aside, last year when I spent time with the person I was able to say for the first time in years that I had a friend. The fact that she is no longer around on a regular basis has left a void that is making me feel like an emotional wreck. I've been hoping to make friend's in my current classes, but I'm too shy. Heck, I only became friends with this girl because she talked to me, not the other way around! Starting tommorow, I'm going to be taking a 5-week workshop to get over my shyness. I don't know if it will help, but at this point I am willing to try anything. However, I just want you to leave me alone and let me try to put my life together on my own.

10-02-2006, 05:18 PM	#29
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 30,880 Thanks: 234 Thanked 768 Times in 543 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 781.18 Bank: 2,078,289.05 Total Points: 2,079,070.23 Donate	Okey dokey.

10-02-2006, 09:47 PM	#30
DJ Ryan http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/359805 Vote for your favorite songs Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Shhhh, it's a secret right now Gender: Posts: 13,423 Thanks: 1,068 Thanked 716 Times in 415 Posts Points: 38,600.17 Bank: 944,041.16 Total Points: 982,641.33 Donate	Alright Sean, and I know you requested no more advice, but I've just come across this and have read most of the posts. I'll just give you my little bit of advice. I'm pretty sure you've already taken this incintive, but I believe you should let her know your feelings straight up. No matter how many other girls you try and date and whatnot, she'll still be in the back of your head. That's how I was feeling, I didn't think I could ever date that girl, because I thought our personalities were the same, but the people we hung out with and general attitudes were different. I tried dating other people, just to keep my mind off her, eventually, I noticed that regardless of who I was dating and how much fun I was having, she was STILL back there, in the back of my mind. I finally decided to go after her and bam, I've got her. I went after what I wanted, it took me a while to do it, but I did it, and now I'm happy, even if things don't go right down the road, I know that I at least tried. That's what you gotta do man, go head strong, do what your mind is telling you. Go headstrong without lowering your head to much, look up so you can see. Good football analogy there .

10-02-2006, 10:18 PM	#31
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 30,880 Thanks: 234 Thanked 768 Times in 543 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 781.18 Bank: 2,078,289.05 Total Points: 2,079,070.23 Donate	Maybe that's why Vick fumbles so much BURN

10-03-2006, 05:10 PM	#35
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,978 Thanks: 584 Thanked 111 Times in 75 Posts Points: 17,050.09 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 17,050.09 Donate	This may sound dumb, but if you don't want to call her cell, ask her for her home phone. Ya gotta go to plan B if A doesen't work.

10-03-2006, 05:12 PM	#36
Lurch1982 Senior Member Join Date: May 2000 Location: Katrinaland, USA Gender: Posts: 9,228 Thanks: 120 Thanked 220 Times in 131 Posts Points: 31,740.47 Bank: 246,742.89 Total Points: 278,483.36 Donate	Ok seriously, the only advice worth a crap in this topic is from Jay. I agree with him, All I've seen is a whole slew of excuses. We get you're shy, we get the phone makes you nervous. As Malik said, just do it. I hate(d) doing phone interviews/orders/whatever, I hate meet-and-greets, and I hate doing formal functions with a herd of people I don't know or care about. I bite the bullet and just do it. Its really easy to get things rolling...you just need to start. I think you're missing the point of the advice being lobbed at you. You're not going to get a surefire fix, nor can you force someone to like you. What Jay (and a few others are saying) is that it would be much better for you to at least put it to rest by confronting it. You can't go through life waiting for people to call you, find you, or just randomly stumble onto you. If you do that, you're going to have a miserable, lonely life. You need to be proactive. If you really do have serious problems in social situations to the point where it just isn't a possibility, you may want to seek professional help. I'm not trying to insult you, I'm being serious. If you seriously have a problem functioning in the real, social world, you need to seek some form of help. Sidenote: I wasn't aware anyone used MSN. Andre: you lost to the Saints on Monday night and looked foolish. Hush.

10-03-2006, 06:30 PM	#37
Perrin Aybara LLLUUUCCCCCCAAA!!! Ban HotD Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: Alone....so terribly alone... Some... where... out... there... dies Gender: Posts: 11,840 Thanks: 187 Thanked 375 Times in 183 Posts Points: 42,546.49 Bank: 203,658.03 Total Points: 246,204.52 Donate	"You can't go through life waiting for people to call you, find you, or just randomly stumble onto you." That's great advice. It's something that I have to remind myself constantly. You have to give something in order to get anything back. And Sean, I'm sorry, but I just heard: 1. Excuse. Dude...that's why people have these stupid cell phones. If they didn't want to be bothered, they'd turn them off, or wouldn't get a cell phone. Terrible excuse. 2. Excuse. I personally believe that text messaging will never be as personal as talking to a person face-to-face or on the phone. Texting is a very impersonal form of communication. 3. Excuse. We've already gone over this before. Many people don't like talking on the phone. But you just have to do it. 99% of the problem is in your head. If you're too nervious to talk to this girl, how can a relationship ever work? 4. Excuse. Like Lurch said, you're going to be waiting around forever if you're going to be waiting for other people to take the initiative. Be proactive, dammit. -jay

10-04-2006, 09:19 AM	#39
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,350 Thanks: 9 Thanked 45 Times in 35 Posts Points: 195,867.68 Bank: 115,491.08 Total Points: 311,358.75 Donate	Talk about rotten luck. I finally recieved a text message from her trying to arrange a meet-up.....and it so happens that I won't be going to school today because my only class is cancelled.

10-04-2006, 09:53 AM	#40
Perrin Aybara LLLUUUCCCCCCAAA!!! Ban HotD Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: Alone....so terribly alone... Some... where... out... there... dies Gender: Posts: 11,840 Thanks: 187 Thanked 375 Times in 183 Posts Points: 42,546.49 Bank: 203,658.03 Total Points: 246,204.52 Donate