OK, now I truly need advice

[Sean P Kelly]

You know, I waited over a month and a half to see the girl I have feelings for again. However, I feel it may all be for nothing.

I am starting to really suspect that she doesn't like me more than a friend. I have just been noticing some stuff (that I don't really want to go into detail with), which just seems to suggest that she is into other people and not me.

In fact, I saw her on Wednesday and afterwards I ended up feeling worse than I did when I wasn't seeing her.

I really don't want to let her go and start again, but I feel I have no choice. However, I'm afraid that I am not going to find anyone else and even if I do I'm going to end up with yet another case of unrequited love, which just kills me each time it happens.

I don't know what do to.

[Sir Delicious Rightfoot]

GO TELL THE GIRL YOUR FEELINGS.

This is what we've been telling you, but you haven't listened, go, tell her. NOW.

[Bomby]

Dog... I really feel you on this one... I just heard the song... nevermind.

Look, I can imagine how you feel. She's probably on your mind all the time, right? And she makes your heart beat really fast when she's around, right? The whole world looks different to you, because you want her so bad, too, am I right?

If so, this is a very dangerous feeling to have, and when I say dangerous I truly mean it. You have to tell her how you feel, but not everything you feel. Just keep it simple, don't try to be romantic or anything, because it's just gonna creep her out. I made that mistake.

If she says yes, great. If she turns you down, just remember: it's not the end of the world. It might bother you for a while, but you'll just have to learn to deal with your emotions. It's better to have your heart broken now and deal with it than to never tell her how you feel and keep feeling the same way for a long time. Believe me, I've experienced both, and it's not fun, but it's a part of life.

I really hope things turn out well for you, because nobody should have to fell the way I felt when I got my heartbroken. But if they don't, I've got your back. I mean that.

[Sean P Kelly]

The thing is, I don't really want to tell her anymore because I think I already know the answer.

[Bomby]

Ah, and you just want to hold onto the hope, right? As long as you don't go crazy in front of her, even if she says "no" you can always be her friend still, which gives you the option of spending more time around her and just letting her to get to know you better. Then, maybe, after a bit of time she'll start to like you more.

Or, if she says she only sees you as a friend, try saying something along the lines, "of course you only see me as a friend right now." I dunno, make up something. Just keep your confidence. Keep your head up straight. Don't let her make you feel like you ain't good enough.

[Sir Delicious Rightfoot]

Don't give up because you assume you know the answer.

You know the saying, those who assume, only make.....well you know.

[Bartman101]

Tell her how you feel other wise you might spend your entire life, Wondering what could've been

[Bomby]

I never thought I would say this, but Bartman is right.

[Bartman101]

Atlanta Falcon has a point, Just cause it seems that she doesn't like you more than a friend doesn't mean that you should let that get in the way that you feel for her, If you have feelings for her you should tell her how you feel.

[Perrin Aybara]

For the love of God, Sean. For crap sake, stop thinking, stop making excuses, and LISTEN TO US FOR ONCE.

We are ONLY trying to help you.

For the love of all that is good and holy, TELL HIS GIRL HOW YOU FEEL.

I am getting tired of you saying this, but STOP MAKING EXCUSES.

I just heard you say, all in one topic:

"I truly need advice"

"I don't know what do to"

"I really don't want to let her go and start again"

"I'm afraid that I am not going to find anyone else"

"I don't really want to tell her anymore because I think I already know the answer"

Dear Lord! Either take our advice or don't.

It's your life, not ours. You have to live with it.

You're the one who will have to live with any regrets that you make.

But don't come here asking for advice, and when you get the perfect, most reasonable advice in the world, which is in fact, the ONLY solution to your problem (TELL HER!), when you get our advice, don't just throw it out. Otherwise you're just wasting our time. And you're wasting your time.

Sheesh, Sean! What can we possibly tell you if you think that "I'm never going to find anyone." You're simply lost if you believe that, and there's nothing we can do about it. It's up to you.

Look, your choice is really quite simple. You can either:

A) Don't tell her, and you'll most likely continue to have feelings for her for a long time, which will make you miserable and depressed and probably ruin any chances you have at another relationship, because you're going to be obsessing over this one girl.

B) Don't tell her, and just DROP IT already. Enough with the "Woe is me" attitude and just move on. YOU WILL find someone else. But you have to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, DAMMIT.

Either way, if you don't tell her, you will live with the regret for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

C) TELL HER, for the love of God, and whatever happens, happens. She's interested too? GREAT! She's not interested at all? CRAP! But hey, guess what, NOW YOU CAN MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Sure, it may suck for a short while, but in the long run, you'll be much better off.

Otherwise, you're going to never, EVER take any chances in your life. How can you possibly expect any future relationship to EVER work if you can't even tell this ONE GIRL your feelings?

You'll never be able to.

And you'll continue to make excuses for your life.

So you tell her, you make the effort, and you LIVE your life. And whatever happens, happens. But either way, the outcome of telling her is MUCH better than the outcome of not telling her.

GAH. Ok, Sean, I gave you my advice. And I'm giving your this advice sincerely, as a friend. It's up to you to go through with it. If you don't, then I don't know what to tell you anymore. I can't wave a magic wand and make your life better. That's up to you.-jay

[Sean P Kelly]

Well, maybe I should go into detail now.

Essentially, when I saw her on Wednesday, she was with one of her friends and I heard through their conversation clues that she may be taken.

Ditto today with a picture I saw on her facebook profile.

So, I'm just going to keep quiet, remain friends, and hope I can get over my shyness to meet someone else.

[Bomby]

Aww man, that's one of the worst feelings in the world. Just knowing you waited too long. Look, it'll get better. Just try to focus on other stuff for now.

[ZeldaGirl]

^^My advice is ask around, maybe her friends or something (if you have the courage, ask her personally), and find out if she IS taken. And if she is, then you will have to realize that you need to move on. And if she's not taken, then try and tell her how you feel. Believe me, I know how much it hurts. But, I suppose, if you know the truth, it will be easier, whatever her answer is.

[Sir Delicious Rightfoot]

What ZG just said:

Just ask her, she's your friend, find out the answer, and if she isn't, tell her how you feel.

I really can't give you anymore advice, as we've been telling you what you need to do for a while now.

Good luck Sean.

[Valigarmander]

Just ask her, "Do you have a boyfriend?" You don't even have to say it like that, you could do "are you intimate with anyone?" or "have you ever met someone you've really liked?" If she's taken, it's not the end of the world. There are plenty more fish in the sea. If she isn't, then FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL! I found myself in a very similar situation not long ago, and it felt so good to just get that thing off of my chest.

[Heroine of the Dragon]

I read your other thread... this is MY opinion and MY observation...

...friends DO NOT avoid each other. You do that and you send a message that she's NOT IMPORTANT. You don't want that impression to come across ever!!!

Spend time with her. MAKE time for her if she is worth it no matter how shy and hard this is for you. Think of it as building upon your CV of life if you must.

If you're not ready to tell her you have strong feelings for her, then be her friend. Friendship can still blossom into love. But it won't if you're too busy being shy and avoiding this girl who now may have the impression you have no time for her.

If she has someone, you can still be friends but be careful. Be there for her as you would any other friend.

I feel for you, Sean. Tis the absolute pits to have unrequited love... but if it's meant to be, it will be. Have faith that someone is out there for you. Maybe this girl is the one.

[Sean P Kelly]

^ Who says I was avoiding her?

[Perrin Aybara]

To all of us, Sean, based on what we have heard, it sure sounds like it.-jay

[Sean P Kelly]

Oh sure I was avoiding her. That's why I was so depressed that I didn't see her for over a month. That's why when last Monday when I found out I had a chance of seeing her I went to the University as fast I can to see her.

You know, I come here for help and you end up criticizing me for not acting the way you think I should act. I know I'm shy and I don't like it, but I can't just wave a magic wand and make my shyness go away. So stop treating me like a terrible person just because I'm too shy to do something.

[Sir Delicious Rightfoot]

We what? No, we've been helping you, or attempting to help you for weeks. We've given you perfect advice Sean, PERFECT ADVICE, and all you've been doing is ignoring it, whining and making excuses. So you know what Sean? Do it your damn self, because I don't know about these other guys, but I'm tired of trying to help you only to have it ignored.

You just shove everything off with excuses and find something to get mad at us about.

Have a good day sir.