I doubt anyone will pay attention to this, but... - VGF

Prince Phaeral · 07-17-2007, 04:19 PM

Okay, well. I'm technically a newb. I don't expect many people to reply to this, and I'm not sure if I'm seeking help or if I just need to get it off my chest. Anyone who can help me or that knows this girl is welcome to reply...if you have negative comments, I'd prefer you kept to yourself.

There's this girl. In my eyes, she is the most beautiful, sweet, generous, loving woman in the whole world. If I were straight and didn't have any blood relations to her, I would have jumped at the chance of dating her. I remember first meeting her, first singing with her...possibly the most wonderful and cherished memory I have. I remember holding her through the painful, tear-filled nights during the hardest times of her life. Just to briefly sum it up, I love her. More than anything in the world. I'd die for this woman.

She recently fell in love with this boy at her school. I was happy for her, though I had never met the guy. Just seeing her smile had me approve. They ended up together, and I inevitably ended up meeting him. It didn't take me long to change my mind.

That boy doesn't love her one bit. He never contacts her, he never says he loves her, and the only time he ever shows affection towards her is when his friends are around. My first impression when I saw this behavior was that she was a trophy girlfriend to him. He never wants to see her, to the point where when she asks if they can hang out he gets defensive. Now I'm thinking that he's seeing someone behind her back.

He's left her twice. Each time he came back, but not before I saw him flirting with other women. When she isn't around, he's disgustingly friendly/touchy-feely with other females. I am so bloody tired of seeing him treat her this way. I've tried to tell her, but she truly believes she loves him, and so she stays. I hate that boy. I hate him almost as much as I love her.

I just don't know what I can possibly say to her. Meh, if this topic proves worthless, have the mod feel free to delete it. But I had to say it.

The Doctor · 07-17-2007, 04:40 PM

These situations are never good. You've told her your opinion on the matter, that's all you should do.

When/If they break up again, then try to tell her what you've seen him done in the past.

Kil'jaeden · 07-17-2007, 11:14 PM

The whole thing will collapse eventually, when she realizes what his actions mean. I doubt anything you say will do much good unless you can show her what you're talking about.

Prince Phaeral · 07-17-2007, 11:22 PM

It's going to crush her. I can't tell if she's under a love-struck delusion or if she's just taking this crap from him, just because she's submissive to the point where I seriously worry. It would be painfully easy of him to take advantage of her, and I'd never put it past him. I want to confront her about this, but I don't know what I can say. I am dying just seeing this happen to her.

Thank you for the replies. This whole situation is just driving me crazy.

***ZeldaGirl*** · 07-18-2007, 01:04 AM

^Don't be afraid to talk to her - sometimes, a fresh perspective helps people realized just how much trouble they are in. Let her know how much you obviously care for her, and don't be afraid to confront her... she'll thank you for it later.

User Name · 07-18-2007, 10:40 AM

I agree with ZG, but don't be pushy. It's still not your place to tell her who to date, but she's in trouble. Let her know you care about her and you're worried about the situation. At the very least, she'll hear what you have to say.

Prince Phaeral · 07-18-2007, 07:36 PM

Thanks guys. I think this topic should fall into PM and/or IM, because I'm not sure about dwelving into this on a public board...

So, it can be locked if the mod chooses.

ChuckleHuck · 07-18-2007, 07:58 PM

It's a Dead-End relationship, for sure.

All has pre-T much been said as needs to be.

Lockhammer, please.

**Platinum** · 07-18-2007, 08:01 PM

everyone is right.

ChuckleHuck · 07-20-2007, 12:35 PM

LOCK HAMMER!

The Doctor · 07-20-2007, 12:52 PM

No. Leaving open just to annoy everyone.

ChuckleHuck · 07-21-2007, 01:20 PM

But then there will be no rain of fire when the hammer hits the forrum.

**L007 is Undecided** · 07-21-2007, 01:33 PM

You don't waste no time at all.
Don't hear the bell but you answer the call.
It comes to you as to us all.
We're just waiting for the hammer to fall!

The Doctor · 07-22-2007, 04:35 AM

Hey! The hammer to fall

Curly Brace · 07-22-2007, 10:20 AM

Well, you just have to let her make the decision. I know it's a sucky thing to watch...

...but for her to be the stronger one and go away, that's what she needs to learn how to do.

Prince Phaeral · 07-22-2007, 12:28 PM

She's left him. I'm never forgiving what pressed her to do this, but...

There's still drama in the air, but I don't think it'd be too good to write it up on a public board. Thanks, guys.

The Doctor · 07-22-2007, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prince Phaeral

I'm never forgiving what pressed her to do this, but...

I hope you don't mind me asking but are you not forgiving him or her?

Prince Phaeral · 07-22-2007, 04:06 PM

Him. It's a long, painful story.

The Doctor · 07-22-2007, 04:11 PM

Ain't they all?

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 08-20-2007, 09:28 PM

It's better to tell her now than down the road when it would destroy an even bigger, more elaborate fantasy world than what she already lives in.

And once you've told her, keep telling her. Because she is bound to deny it. I spent three and a half years in one exhausting love. I knew from the beginning it was doomed, but I denied it. It was the voice that never stopped telling me to get away from this man that finally convinced me to put my energy elsewhere.

And always, always be gentle. Honest but gentle.

07-17-2007, 04:19 PM	#1
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts Points: 2,321.68 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,321.68 Donate	I doubt anyone will pay attention to this, but... Okay, well. I'm technically a newb. I don't expect many people to reply to this, and I'm not sure if I'm seeking help or if I just need to get it off my chest. Anyone who can help me or that knows this girl is welcome to reply...if you have negative comments, I'd prefer you kept to yourself. There's this girl. In my eyes, she is the most beautiful, sweet, generous, loving woman in the whole world. If I were straight and didn't have any blood relations to her, I would have jumped at the chance of dating her. I remember first meeting her, first singing with her...possibly the most wonderful and cherished memory I have. I remember holding her through the painful, tear-filled nights during the hardest times of her life. Just to briefly sum it up, I love her. More than anything in the world. I'd die for this woman. She recently fell in love with this boy at her school. I was happy for her, though I had never met the guy. Just seeing her smile had me approve. They ended up together, and I inevitably ended up meeting him. It didn't take me long to change my mind. That boy doesn't love her one bit. He never contacts her, he never says he loves her, and the only time he ever shows affection towards her is when his friends are around. My first impression when I saw this behavior was that she was a trophy girlfriend to him. He never wants to see her, to the point where when she asks if they can hang out he gets defensive. Now I'm thinking that he's seeing someone behind her back. He's left her twice. Each time he came back, but not before I saw him flirting with other women. When she isn't around, he's disgustingly friendly/touchy-feely with other females. I am so bloody tired of seeing him treat her this way. I've tried to tell her, but she truly believes she loves him, and so she stays. I hate that boy. I hate him almost as much as I love her. I just don't know what I can possibly say to her. Meh, if this topic proves worthless, have the mod feel free to delete it. But I had to say it.

07-22-2007, 10:20 AM	#15
Curly Brace THE ALL AROUND YUMMIEST. Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Maryland Gender: Posts: 5,772 Thanks: 127 Thanked 116 Times in 82 Posts Points: 15,827.93 Bank: 37,251.94 Total Points: 53,079.88 Donate	Well, you just have to let her make the decision. I know it's a sucky thing to watch... ...but for her to be the stronger one and go away, that's what she needs to learn how to do. __________________ WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!

07-17-2007, 04:40 PM	#2
The Doctor Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Tardis Gender: Posts: 11,861 Thanks: 389 Thanked 343 Times in 240 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 69,148.16 Bank: 1,122,527.91 Total Points: 1,191,676.06 Donate	These situations are never good. You've told her your opinion on the matter, that's all you should do. When/If they break up again, then try to tell her what you've seen him done in the past.

07-17-2007, 11:14 PM	#3
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 1,417 Thanks: 18 Thanked 37 Times in 28 Posts Points: 8,900.65 Bank: 820.30 Total Points: 9,720.95 Donate	The whole thing will collapse eventually, when she realizes what his actions mean. I doubt anything you say will do much good unless you can show her what you're talking about.

07-17-2007, 11:22 PM	#4
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts Points: 2,321.68 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,321.68 Donate	It's going to crush her. I can't tell if she's under a love-struck delusion or if she's just taking this crap from him, just because she's submissive to the point where I seriously worry. It would be painfully easy of him to take advantage of her, and I'd never put it past him. I want to confront her about this, but I don't know what I can say. I am dying just seeing this happen to her. Thank you for the replies. This whole situation is just driving me crazy.

07-18-2007, 01:04 AM	#5
*ZeldaGirl* Venting SuperMod Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 11,712 Thanks: 495 Thanked 726 Times in 490 Posts Points: 22,622.54 Bank: 312,130.01 Total Points: 334,752.55 Donate	^Don't be afraid to talk to her - sometimes, a fresh perspective helps people realized just how much trouble they are in. Let her know how much you obviously care for her, and don't be afraid to confront her... she'll thank you for it later.

07-18-2007, 10:40 AM	#6
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Some say hell, I say paradise. Gender: Posts: 6,155 Thanks: 185 Thanked 249 Times in 186 Posts Points: 1,322.95 Bank: 32,160.29 Total Points: 33,483.24 Donate	I agree with ZG, but don't be pushy. It's still not your place to tell her who to date, but she's in trouble. Let her know you care about her and you're worried about the situation. At the very least, she'll hear what you have to say.

07-18-2007, 07:36 PM	#7
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts Points: 2,321.68 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,321.68 Donate	Thanks guys. I think this topic should fall into PM and/or IM, because I'm not sure about dwelving into this on a public board... So, it can be locked if the mod chooses.

07-18-2007, 07:58 PM	#8
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,272.12 Bank: 10,056.82 Total Points: 20,328.94 Donate	It's a Dead-End relationship, for sure. All has pre-T much been said as needs to be. Lockhammer, please.

07-18-2007, 08:01 PM	#9
Platinum Arcade Mod Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Wv Gender: Posts: 1,369 Thanks: 48 Thanked 21 Times in 21 Posts Points: 1,427.24 Bank: 23,885.95 Total Points: 25,313.19 Donate	everyone is right.

07-20-2007, 12:35 PM	#10
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,272.12 Bank: 10,056.82 Total Points: 20,328.94 Donate	LOCK HAMMER!

07-20-2007, 12:52 PM	#11
The Doctor Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Tardis Gender: Posts: 11,861 Thanks: 389 Thanked 343 Times in 240 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 69,148.16 Bank: 1,122,527.91 Total Points: 1,191,676.06 Donate	No. Leaving open just to annoy everyone.

07-21-2007, 01:20 PM	#12
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,272.12 Bank: 10,056.82 Total Points: 20,328.94 Donate	But then there will be no rain of fire when the hammer hits the forrum.

07-21-2007, 01:33 PM	#13
L007 is Undecided Axe Shreddin' Mod Join Date: May 2001 Location: Farmerland. Gender: Posts: 7,341 Thanks: 90 Thanked 292 Times in 172 Posts Points: 2,163.54 Bank: 16,278.34 Total Points: 18,441.88 Donate	You don't waste no time at all. Don't hear the bell but you answer the call. It comes to you as to us all. We're just waiting for the hammer to fall!

07-22-2007, 04:35 AM	#14
The Doctor Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Tardis Gender: Posts: 11,861 Thanks: 389 Thanked 343 Times in 240 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 69,148.16 Bank: 1,122,527.91 Total Points: 1,191,676.06 Donate	Hey! The hammer to fall

07-22-2007, 12:28 PM	#16
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts Points: 2,321.68 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,321.68 Donate	She's left him. I'm never forgiving what pressed her to do this, but... There's still drama in the air, but I don't think it'd be too good to write it up on a public board. Thanks, guys.

07-22-2007, 04:06 PM	#18
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts Points: 2,321.68 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,321.68 Donate	Him. It's a long, painful story.

07-22-2007, 04:11 PM	#19
The Doctor Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Tardis Gender: Posts: 11,861 Thanks: 389 Thanked 343 Times in 240 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 69,148.16 Bank: 1,122,527.91 Total Points: 1,191,676.06 Donate	Ain't they all?

08-20-2007, 09:28 PM	#20
Princess Zelda of Hyrule Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hyrule Castle Gender: Posts: 6,128 Thanks: 35 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts Points: 6,484.36 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 6,984.36 Donate	It's better to tell her now than down the road when it would destroy an even bigger, more elaborate fantasy world than what she already lives in. And once you've told her, keep telling her. Because she is bound to deny it. I spent three and a half years in one exhausting love. I knew from the beginning it was doomed, but I denied it. It was the voice that never stopped telling me to get away from this man that finally convinced me to put my energy elsewhere. And always, always be gentle. Honest but gentle.