Should dating be monogamous?

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 09-10-2007, 09:21 PM

Should it be socially acceptable for people to date many partners at the same time? Or should it be like marriage: one partner at a time, solid commitment?

In my not-so-humble opinion, this dating commitment thing is rubbish and out of hand. I've seen too much drama. Why can't people save commitment for marriage and maturity? People should use their youth to experiment, to find out what they want in a partner, without commitment breathing down their necks. I'd hate to get stuck in a relationship that keeps me from opportunities to learn about myself and others who might interest me.

What about you?

Valigarmander · 09-10-2007, 09:41 PM

I'd prefer one partner to many.

But if other people like to swing, hey, whatever rocks your boat.

Kil'jaeden · 09-10-2007, 09:44 PM

I'm too jealous for that sort of thing. As far as I'm concerned anyone who wants to do that can stay far away from me.

Koga · 09-11-2007, 12:58 AM

That totally depends on the person. I'm monogamous, but there are many couples who don't mind seeing other people on the side.

***CaptHayfever*** · 09-11-2007, 01:07 AM

When it's not serious with anyone, it's fine to be testing the waters elsewhere, but as a relationship becomes more mature & intricate, it should also eventually become monogamous.
How can you be able to commit to marriage if you can't stand an exclusive relationship beforehand? Heck, how can you know someone well enough to want to marry them if you haven't spent enough time together to effectively preclude any other romantic interests?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

DELICIOUS POISON · 09-11-2007, 03:01 AM

It depends on your relationship. In the dating world, I probably wouldn't be particularily monogamous. Back in reality where I'm trying to find a dependable partner and friend, there just aren't that many people who're suitable for a monogamous relationship with me that I could even be bothered having a polygamous relationship while simultaneously making it incredibly meaningful.

Kil'jaeden · 09-11-2007, 06:30 AM

Come to think of it, how could any guy manage more than one girl, or vice versa? One's bad enough.

***Ace Mercury*** · 09-11-2007, 08:11 AM

I'm hardly an authority on dating, but I remember hearing about "dating in parallel" as opposed to "dating in series" as an electrical circuit metaphor (I'm an engineer

). Anyways, the point is that seeing a bunch of guys/girls at once (gender depending on your preference) is better, since seeing them one at a time would take too long (i.e. more resistance).

Irregardless, I believe that once you've agreed to "go steady" and especially when you are engaged, you are committed to one person. I do believe in honesty, openness, and candor in relationships, romantic or otherwise, and would never set up one of those sitcom situations where you have to juggle and lie.

**Sean P Kelly** · 09-11-2007, 10:10 AM

I think it really depends on what kind of relationship.

If you just mean going out with many people, I think that might be okay for the most part. However, if want to start "going around the bases" with many people, then I'm not okay with that.

Everybody Nose · 09-11-2007, 11:28 AM

Dating yes.

Relationship. No.

That's just my opioin, dating you're testing the waters, seeing what you want. Relationship, you're committed, end of story.

Bomby · 09-11-2007, 12:48 PM

I think I agree with the general consensus here, that it really depends on the seriousness of the relationdateshipthingy.

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 09-11-2007, 04:52 PM

Quote:

When it's not serious with anyone, it's fine to be testing the waters elsewhere, but as a relationship becomes more mature & intricate, it should also eventually become monogamous.

I guess I agree with this. But I do think exclusivity is a late, mature stage, and definitely not something that should occur in the early teens as it does too often in our culture. Before people get married, they should have dated exclusively for a good long time...but one's fifteenth or sixteenth years of life are hardly the time to be thinking about marriage, let alone acting like a married couple.

Of course, if people are dating polygamously, they should be forthcoming about it to all of their partners...

***CaptHayfever*** · 09-12-2007, 12:03 PM

^Sounds good to me. I think a lot of monogamy in high school dating, though, has to do with certain involved parties having certain psychotic hormone spikes and behaving like certain banshees if they find out somebody's dating someone else.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

The Joker · 09-12-2007, 12:40 PM

Only if sex is involved !! If not than go with the guys secret code of dating !! It aint cheating if you aint sleeping with the chick !!

DELICIOUS POISON · 09-12-2007, 07:56 PM

^ Basically, that's how it works. Since I was 16, I've never not had a girl around me, I just kind of logically moved from one stale relationship to another that worked. I gave the prior a fair run, but in the end I was just feeling guilty for the most insignificant things, and I didn't feel like I was allowed to be an honest person.

09-10-2007, 09:21 PM	#1
Princess Zelda of Hyrule Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hyrule Castle Gender: Posts: 6,128 Thanks: 35 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts Points: 7,205.36 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 7,705.36 Donate	Should dating be monogamous? Should it be socially acceptable for people to date many partners at the same time? Or should it be like marriage: one partner at a time, solid commitment? In my not-so-humble opinion, this dating commitment thing is rubbish and out of hand. I've seen too much drama. Why can't people save commitment for marriage and maturity? People should use their youth to experiment, to find out what they want in a partner, without commitment breathing down their necks. I'd hate to get stuck in a relationship that keeps me from opportunities to learn about myself and others who might interest me. What about you?

09-11-2007, 11:28 AM	#10
Everybody Nose All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 13,221 Thanks: 981 Thanked 669 Times in 388 Posts Points: 47,164.31 Bank: 598,669.29 Total Points: 645,833.60 Donate	Dating yes. Relationship. No. That's just my opioin, dating you're testing the waters, seeing what you want. Relationship, you're committed, end of story. __________________ Click here to level up my card! Click here to level up my license! The Virginian Goat Farmers- Season 1 coming soon

09-12-2007, 12:40 PM	#14
The Joker You see, my father was a drunk and fiend..... Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: The Planet of Eternal Darkness Gender: Posts: 10,085 Thanks: 2,335 Thanked 269 Times in 192 Posts Points: 782.30 Bank: 14,278.72 Total Points: 15,061.02 Donate	Only if sex is involved !! If not than go with the guys secret code of dating !! It aint cheating if you aint sleeping with the chick !! __________________ How about a Magic Trick?? I'm going to make this pencil dissapear !

09-10-2007, 09:41 PM	#2
Valigarmander Frankly, more awesome than you. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Either UN's bed or Andre's bed. Gender: Posts: 12,994 Thanks: 788 Thanked 1,338 Times in 663 Posts Points: 79.18 Bank: 120,174.15 Total Points: 120,253.33 Donate	I'd prefer one partner to many. But if other people like to swing, hey, whatever rocks your boat.

09-10-2007, 09:44 PM	#3
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 1,469 Thanks: 19 Thanked 39 Times in 30 Posts Points: 10,258.58 Bank: 999.94 Total Points: 11,258.52 Donate	I'm too jealous for that sort of thing. As far as I'm concerned anyone who wants to do that can stay far away from me.

09-11-2007, 12:58 AM	#4
Koga Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Posts: 17,093 Thanks: 104 Thanked 173 Times in 116 Posts Points: 105,698.41 Bank: 19,215.78 Total Points: 124,914.19 Donate	That totally depends on the person. I'm monogamous, but there are many couples who don't mind seeing other people on the side.

09-11-2007, 01:07 AM	#5
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,495 Thanks: 175 Thanked 813 Times in 515 Posts Points: 110,672.48 Bank: 1,171.59 Total Points: 111,844.07 Donate	When it's not serious with anyone, it's fine to be testing the waters elsewhere, but as a relationship becomes more mature & intricate, it should also eventually become monogamous. How can you be able to commit to marriage if you can't stand an exclusive relationship beforehand? Heck, how can you know someone well enough to want to marry them if you haven't spent enough time together to effectively preclude any other romantic interests? And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

09-11-2007, 03:01 AM	#6
DELICIOUS POISON Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 16,164 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,330 Times in 687 Posts Points: 4,554.74 Bank: 2,276,668.29 Total Points: 2,281,223.03 Donate	It depends on your relationship. In the dating world, I probably wouldn't be particularily monogamous. Back in reality where I'm trying to find a dependable partner and friend, there just aren't that many people who're suitable for a monogamous relationship with me that I could even be bothered having a polygamous relationship while simultaneously making it incredibly meaningful.

09-11-2007, 06:30 AM	#7
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 1,469 Thanks: 19 Thanked 39 Times in 30 Posts Points: 10,258.58 Bank: 999.94 Total Points: 11,258.52 Donate	Come to think of it, how could any guy manage more than one girl, or vice versa? One's bad enough.

09-11-2007, 08:11 AM	#8
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,996 Thanks: 364 Thanked 1,533 Times in 793 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 103,007.61 Bank: 15,171,716.36 Total Points: 15,274,723.97 Donate	I'm hardly an authority on dating, but I remember hearing about "dating in parallel" as opposed to "dating in series" as an electrical circuit metaphor (I'm an engineer ). Anyways, the point is that seeing a bunch of guys/girls at once (gender depending on your preference) is better, since seeing them one at a time would take too long (i.e. more resistance). Irregardless, I believe that once you've agreed to "go steady" and especially when you are engaged, you are committed to one person. I do believe in honesty, openness, and candor in relationships, romantic or otherwise, and would never set up one of those sitcom situations where you have to juggle and lie.

09-11-2007, 10:10 AM	#9
Sean P Kelly SMBHQ Mod Movies Mod Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,278 Thanks: 9 Thanked 43 Times in 33 Posts Points: 183,960.08 Bank: 76,198.22 Total Points: 260,158.30 Donate	I think it really depends on what kind of relationship. If you just mean going out with many people, I think that might be okay for the most part. However, if want to start "going around the bases" with many people, then I'm not okay with that.

09-11-2007, 12:48 PM	#11
Bomby My name is Stereotype with an A Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Searching the city for Sci-Fi Wasabi Gender: Posts: 15,188 Thanks: 210 Thanked 613 Times in 399 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,779.40 Bank: 2,506,696.76 Total Points: 2,514,476.17 Donate	I think I agree with the general consensus here, that it really depends on the seriousness of the relationdateshipthingy.

09-12-2007, 12:03 PM	#13
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,495 Thanks: 175 Thanked 813 Times in 515 Posts Points: 110,672.48 Bank: 1,171.59 Total Points: 111,844.07 Donate	^Sounds good to me. I think a lot of monogamy in high school dating, though, has to do with certain involved parties having certain psychotic hormone spikes and behaving like certain banshees if they find out somebody's dating someone else. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

09-12-2007, 07:56 PM	#15
DELICIOUS POISON Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 16,164 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,330 Times in 687 Posts Points: 4,554.74 Bank: 2,276,668.29 Total Points: 2,281,223.03 Donate	^ Basically, that's how it works. Since I was 16, I've never not had a girl around me, I just kind of logically moved from one stale relationship to another that worked. I gave the prior a fair run, but in the end I was just feeling guilty for the most insignificant things, and I didn't feel like I was allowed to be an honest person.