My situation right now...

Bomby · 10-22-2007, 10:54 PM

... is her ambivalence.

I know how I feel about her. She likes me but she's not sure how much. We just cuddled for two hours and played with each other's hair trying to figure everything out. I told her everything about me. She told me a lot about her.

She says she doesn't want to be in a relationship where one person (i.e. me) is putting everything into the relationship while the other person (i.e. her) is just kind of there. She's been the former, and doesn't want me to have to go through that situation because she cares about me.

I've never really been able to connect with anyone like this, and I'm just really frustrated right now. I know I'm just going to have to wait it out, but due to my past luck all I can see in my mind right now is a big red rejection.

She's attracted to me. She's told me herself. She's not used to guys being interested in her, but I'm the third one this school year. Or maybe second and a half.

The bottom line: this is the farthest I've ever gotten with someone I actually liked, but I fear that what just happened may have been as intimate as we'll ever get. Maybe I'm a bit ambivalent too.

***CaptHayfever*** · 10-23-2007, 01:32 AM

Is she being ambivalent, or just cautious? I mean, signs point to yes for you two if that account you gave is accurate; it seems more an issue of just letting (or helping) her get to the point of trusting herself, and smooth sailing after that.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

Bomby · 10-23-2007, 09:21 PM

I don't know. I still have the propensity to have a pessimistic view of my near future, because of my past experiences. Last night was so... sensual. I do feel like she really does want a relationship with me deep inside, but at the same time, she's just a very affectionate person.

My main fear right now is that we might be spending too much time together.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 10-25-2007, 07:38 PM

Too much time together? To me, that's a myth created by people who don't want to try. AI and I rarely spend any time apart anymore, as we work together and go out together and are generally just hanging out in the same room as each other at home.

Just have fun with your lady, be honest and open about how you're feeling, and definitely don't hide your emotions if you fear rejection. If you keep something inside too long because you're worried about how she'll react, you'll cause your own downfall instead of probably being able to talk it through and work out the issue together (-personal experience). Give her your reassurances that you trust her not to hurt you by just "being there", instead of an active part of the relationship, and that you trust she'll talk to you if her feelings start to change.

Good luck with your lady, Bomby. Spirits know you deserve a smoother ride by now

*hug*

DJ Ryan · 10-25-2007, 07:41 PM

What SD said.

And seeing that avy seems so foreign now.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 10-25-2007, 08:05 PM

Especially the hug. Andre strongly agrees with the hug.

DJ Ryan · 10-25-2007, 08:20 PM

Hugs make everything better.

***CaptHayfever*** · 10-26-2007, 01:58 AM

Hugs are the greatest.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 10-26-2007, 02:48 AM

*hugs Andre and Capt*

Bomby · 10-26-2007, 05:27 PM

Hugs are great... but spooning is better. :P

I like your idea of there being no such thing as "spending too much time together." So far we've not grown sick of each other in the slightest. She's inviting me to do stuff with her, too, which to me is a good sign. All of our "gang" thinks that when she makes up her mind on me it'll be a yes.

Considering how intimate we were Monday night, we're definitely more than "just friends," but I just want it to be official.

We went to the Michael Eric Dyson lecture together. It was awesomeness. My favorite girl and my favorite author.

***CaptHayfever*** · 10-27-2007, 01:14 AM

Awesome, man. It looks like this is gonna turn out okay.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 10-27-2007, 11:43 PM

That's wonderful to hear, Bomby. I'm happy for you! ^_^

Bomby · 10-29-2007, 05:49 PM

Sorry folks, looks like there will be no relationship, but I'm gonna be okay.

She feels like she can't put into us what I would put into us if we were dating. She was practically crying when she told me.

I'm definitely feeling down right now, but I'm gonna be cool.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 10-30-2007, 08:35 PM

*more hugs* We never know what the future may hold, eh?

Bomby · 11-15-2007, 02:34 PM

Things are getting really messed up between us. I don't even know where to start. We're still really close, but at the same time our feelings for each other are frustrating. She still really loves me, but isn't in love with me, yet at the same time admitted she would be jealous if I were to find someone else, and feels like if she were to start dating someone else then she would be betraying me. I on the other hand have only fallen more and more in love with her, even though I've been trying to get over her. What's worse is that there is another guy who she's curious about.

This is just a really bad situation.

10-22-2007, 10:54 PM	#1
Bomby Condescending Film Jerk Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,385 Thanks: 230 Thanked 679 Times in 431 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 5,135.79 Bank: 3,743,200.94 Total Points: 3,748,336.74 Donate	My situation right now... ... is her ambivalence. I know how I feel about her. She likes me but she's not sure how much. We just cuddled for two hours and played with each other's hair trying to figure everything out. I told her everything about me. She told me a lot about her. She says she doesn't want to be in a relationship where one person (i.e. me) is putting everything into the relationship while the other person (i.e. her) is just kind of there. She's been the former, and doesn't want me to have to go through that situation because she cares about me. I've never really been able to connect with anyone like this, and I'm just really frustrated right now. I know I'm just going to have to wait it out, but due to my past luck all I can see in my mind right now is a big red rejection. She's attracted to me. She's told me herself. She's not used to guys being interested in her, but I'm the third one this school year. Or maybe second and a half. The bottom line: this is the farthest I've ever gotten with someone I actually liked, but I fear that what just happened may have been as intimate as we'll ever get. Maybe I'm a bit ambivalent too.

10-23-2007, 01:32 AM	#2
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,787 Thanks: 238 Thanked 943 Times in 574 Posts Points: 117,618.41 Bank: 1,847.49 Total Points: 119,465.90 Donate	Is she being ambivalent, or just cautious? I mean, signs point to yes for you two if that account you gave is accurate; it seems more an issue of just letting (or helping) her get to the point of trusting herself, and smooth sailing after that. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

10-23-2007, 09:21 PM	#3
Bomby Condescending Film Jerk Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,385 Thanks: 230 Thanked 679 Times in 431 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 5,135.79 Bank: 3,743,200.94 Total Points: 3,748,336.74 Donate	I don't know. I still have the propensity to have a pessimistic view of my near future, because of my past experiences. Last night was so... sensual. I do feel like she really does want a relationship with me deep inside, but at the same time, she's just a very affectionate person. My main fear right now is that we might be spending too much time together.

10-25-2007, 07:38 PM	#4
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 24,116 Thanks: 398 Thanked 596 Times in 406 Posts Points: 28,560.00 Bank: 237,236.19 Total Points: 265,796.20 Donate	Too much time together? To me, that's a myth created by people who don't want to try. AI and I rarely spend any time apart anymore, as we work together and go out together and are generally just hanging out in the same room as each other at home. Just have fun with your lady, be honest and open about how you're feeling, and definitely don't hide your emotions if you fear rejection. If you keep something inside too long because you're worried about how she'll react, you'll cause your own downfall instead of probably being able to talk it through and work out the issue together (-personal experience). Give her your reassurances that you trust her not to hurt you by just "being there", instead of an active part of the relationship, and that you trust she'll talk to you if her feelings start to change. Good luck with your lady, Bomby. Spirits know you deserve a smoother ride by now hug

10-25-2007, 07:41 PM	#5
DJ Ryan http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/359805 Vote for your favorite songs Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Shhhh, it's a secret right now Gender: Posts: 13,423 Thanks: 1,068 Thanked 716 Times in 415 Posts Points: 38,594.17 Bank: 944,041.16 Total Points: 982,635.33 Donate	What SD said. And seeing that avy seems so foreign now.

10-25-2007, 08:05 PM	#6
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 24,116 Thanks: 398 Thanked 596 Times in 406 Posts Points: 28,560.00 Bank: 237,236.19 Total Points: 265,796.20 Donate	Especially the hug. Andre strongly agrees with the hug.

10-25-2007, 08:20 PM	#7
DJ Ryan http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/359805 Vote for your favorite songs Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Shhhh, it's a secret right now Gender: Posts: 13,423 Thanks: 1,068 Thanked 716 Times in 415 Posts Points: 38,594.17 Bank: 944,041.16 Total Points: 982,635.33 Donate	Hugs make everything better.

10-26-2007, 01:58 AM	#8
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,787 Thanks: 238 Thanked 943 Times in 574 Posts Points: 117,618.41 Bank: 1,847.49 Total Points: 119,465.90 Donate	Hugs are the greatest. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

10-26-2007, 02:48 AM	#9
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 24,116 Thanks: 398 Thanked 596 Times in 406 Posts Points: 28,560.00 Bank: 237,236.19 Total Points: 265,796.20 Donate	hugs Andre and Capt

10-26-2007, 05:27 PM	#10
Bomby Condescending Film Jerk Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,385 Thanks: 230 Thanked 679 Times in 431 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 5,135.79 Bank: 3,743,200.94 Total Points: 3,748,336.74 Donate	Hugs are great... but spooning is better. :P I like your idea of there being no such thing as "spending too much time together." So far we've not grown sick of each other in the slightest. She's inviting me to do stuff with her, too, which to me is a good sign. All of our "gang" thinks that when she makes up her mind on me it'll be a yes. Considering how intimate we were Monday night, we're definitely more than "just friends," but I just want it to be official. We went to the Michael Eric Dyson lecture together. It was awesomeness. My favorite girl and my favorite author.

10-27-2007, 01:14 AM	#11
*CaptHayfever* Smash Supermod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 19,787 Thanks: 238 Thanked 943 Times in 574 Posts Points: 117,618.41 Bank: 1,847.49 Total Points: 119,465.90 Donate	Awesome, man. It looks like this is gonna turn out okay. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

10-27-2007, 11:43 PM	#12
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 24,116 Thanks: 398 Thanked 596 Times in 406 Posts Points: 28,560.00 Bank: 237,236.19 Total Points: 265,796.20 Donate	That's wonderful to hear, Bomby. I'm happy for you! ^_^

10-29-2007, 05:49 PM	#13
Bomby Condescending Film Jerk Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,385 Thanks: 230 Thanked 679 Times in 431 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 5,135.79 Bank: 3,743,200.94 Total Points: 3,748,336.74 Donate	Sorry folks, looks like there will be no relationship, but I'm gonna be okay. She feels like she can't put into us what I would put into us if we were dating. She was practically crying when she told me. I'm definitely feeling down right now, but I'm gonna be cool.

10-30-2007, 08:35 PM	#14
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 24,116 Thanks: 398 Thanked 596 Times in 406 Posts Points: 28,560.00 Bank: 237,236.19 Total Points: 265,796.20 Donate	more hugs We never know what the future may hold, eh?

11-15-2007, 02:34 PM	#15
Bomby Condescending Film Jerk Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,385 Thanks: 230 Thanked 679 Times in 431 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 5,135.79 Bank: 3,743,200.94 Total Points: 3,748,336.74 Donate	Things are getting really messed up between us. I don't even know where to start. We're still really close, but at the same time our feelings for each other are frustrating. She still really loves me, but isn't in love with me, yet at the same time admitted she would be jealous if I were to find someone else, and feels like if she were to start dating someone else then she would be betraying me. I on the other hand have only fallen more and more in love with her, even though I've been trying to get over her. What's worse is that there is another guy who she's curious about. This is just a really bad situation.