Why the hell do people even play these games? Nicktoons racing GBA review

05-06-2004, 09:54 PM

Why the hell am I even doing this? Nicktoons racing GBA review

As we all know, Nickelodeon is where democracy ends and where the civilation of Retarded Space Uiaglodonian Squiop Babies take charge. For them to take over the world, certain measures must take place. One of those measures is to take the form of THQ and Infogratari executives to make tons of crappy Nickelodeon games for all systems like the N-Gage and the Wonderswan as well asnd rig their Kid's Choice awards to favor the mentally handicapped. Only then would our politicians submit to Nickelodeon's monopolistic ways and rewrite the constitution to crown Spongebob Squarepants king. This game however, is extremely vital to their plans of world domination. Oh what the **** am I talkin' about, I'll do the actual review.

Graphics: The best of all current systems, far surpassing the X-Box with pseudo_3-d sprites with boring-ass backgrounds that are just ripoffs of mario kart super circuit's ground images with references to TV shows

Golfing Physics: Extremely unbalanced. Everytime I got an item, It would shoot 3 of those items out of it's wolfen ass and easily hitting the enemy as if you were a blind person wearing a bandana across my eyes. Oh, did I even mention that we can throw pizzas?

Variety of Licensedness- Too many craploads of characters. I find it to be very much easy to find the best one. All that you have to do is figure out which one's the most overrated and choose it so that you can win every single race in the game.

Can it handle offroad?- Hell no, I tried going offroad several times and watching the go-kart go at walking speeds at which even pushing a truck can go faster. I completed 1 lap in 6th(last) place by doing this; 6th place is mediocre if you think about about. If you think about it more, than F-Zero is ingenius compared to this retarded piece of crap, with over 30 racers and mindnumbing difficulty and even includes hovercars!

Sound- I wanted to shut off my ears permanently from this monotonous musical that doesn't give a damn. But then again, I full-blasted the sound on my computer when I played Fire Emblem Seisen no Keifu so this doesn't count. But I still want to mini-nuke my eardrums.

Replayability-None, I would rate it a negative 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000 on that aspect since you'd probably won't buy this game.

Bottom Line- Don't buy this ****, even if your kid brother saw it at a store and screamed at the top of his lungs "I WANT THAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!!!!!!!!1". Then again, your kid brother probably shouts that at anything he wants.

Score: 0.6

[ May 06, 2004, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: THE PAGE YOU REQUESTED IS LOADING ]

05-10-2004, 05:10 PM

All I can say is....

[img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

Cloaked Dude · 05-10-2004, 05:59 PM

0.6? I thought the minimum was 0!

05-11-2004, 04:50 PM

^Actually, you can go down to the negative zone.

Plus, 0.6 is actually a little above 0.

Cloaked Dude · 05-15-2004, 03:56 PM

Sorry, I meant 1.

05-06-2004, 09:54 PM	#1
Banned from VGF Guest Posts: n/a Points: 0 Bank: 0 Total Points: 0 Donate	Why the hell am I even doing this? Nicktoons racing GBA review As we all know, Nickelodeon is where democracy ends and where the civilation of Retarded Space Uiaglodonian Squiop Babies take charge. For them to take over the world, certain measures must take place. One of those measures is to take the form of THQ and Infogratari executives to make tons of crappy Nickelodeon games for all systems like the N-Gage and the Wonderswan as well asnd rig their Kid's Choice awards to favor the mentally handicapped. Only then would our politicians submit to Nickelodeon's monopolistic ways and rewrite the constitution to crown Spongebob Squarepants king. This game however, is extremely vital to their plans of world domination. Oh what the ** am I talkin' about, I'll do the actual review. Graphics: The best of all current systems, far surpassing the X-Box with pseudo_3-d sprites with boring-ass backgrounds that are just ripoffs of mario kart super circuit's ground images with references to TV shows Golfing Physics: Extremely unbalanced. Everytime I got an item, It would shoot 3 of those items out of it's wolfen ass and easily hitting the enemy as if you were a blind person wearing a bandana across my eyes. Oh, did I even mention that we can throw pizzas? Variety of Licensedness- Too many craploads of characters. I find it to be very much easy to find the best one. All that you have to do is figure out which one's the most overrated and choose it so that you can win every single race in the game. Can it handle offroad?- Hell no, I tried going offroad several times and watching the go-kart go at walking speeds at which even pushing a truck can go faster. I completed 1 lap in 6th(last) place by doing this; 6th place is mediocre if you think about about. If you think about it more, than F-Zero is ingenius compared to this retarded piece of crap, with over 30 racers and mindnumbing difficulty and even includes hovercars! Sound- I wanted to shut off my ears permanently from this monotonous musical that doesn't give a damn. But then again, I full-blasted the sound on my computer when I played Fire Emblem Seisen no Keifu so this doesn't count. But I still want to mini-nuke my eardrums. Replayability-None, I would rate it a negative 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000 on that aspect since you'd probably won't buy this game. Bottom Line- Don't buy this **, even if your kid brother saw it at a store and screamed at the top of his lungs "I WANT THAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!!!!!!!!1". Then again, your kid brother probably shouts that at anything he wants. Score: 0.6 [ May 06, 2004, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: THE PAGE YOU REQUESTED IS LOADING ]

05-10-2004, 05:10 PM	#2
I caught a zubat Guest Posts: n/a Points: 0 Bank: 0 Total Points: 0 Donate	All I can say is.... [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

05-10-2004, 05:59 PM	#3
Cloaked Dude Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: North Carolina Gender: Posts: 699 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,656.34 Bank: 218.48 Total Points: 2,874.82 Donate	0.6? I thought the minimum was 0!

05-11-2004, 04:50 PM	#4
BeamYosho Guest Posts: n/a Points: 0 Bank: 0 Total Points: 0 Donate	^Actually, you can go down to the negative zone. Plus, 0.6 is actually a little above 0.

05-15-2004, 03:56 PM	#5
Cloaked Dude Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: North Carolina Gender: Posts: 699 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,656.34 Bank: 218.48 Total Points: 2,874.82 Donate	Sorry, I meant 1.