The worst reviews. (2) - Page 2 - VGF

Yoshimaster007 · 04-04-2003, 08:45 PM

Um, people.... please try to make your reviews make sense. I mean, people will only laugh at them if they make sense. Here's a hint: take the most common and notorious problems with a game, then bash and blow them all out of proportion. Like this:

Unbloated: In Metroid, Samus shoots beams that disappear after several feet.

Bloated: Look at this! Samus shoots little B-b's that barely make it past her nose! And this is supposed to take place in the future??!

Yeah, something like that. I wish Motley Crue would post in this topic, since he did the original...

A Genius · 04-04-2003, 10:32 PM

Space Invaders

WHAT THE *F-word goes here*???!1? HOW COULD ANY *F word goes here too* COULD ANYONE LIVE WITH THIS *F-=word goes here as well*?????

Okay, so cliched aliens are taking over the world, I mean what the *guess what word goes here* were these guys smoking? Why aliens? Everyone's already seen aliens! How *F-Word. W007.*ing unoriginal is that?

And you only have ONE weapon! ONE god*F-word, censored so that I don't get banned*it! It's a weak *F-word doesn't insult people, people insult people*ing laser! I mean, come on! And when *F-word goes here, although it wouldn't actually make sense in this particular position in the sentence, but I don't care.* you fire it, YOU CAN ONLY FIRE ONE AT A TIME! Stupid *F-word, censored by moia. Is that how you spell "moia?"*, this is.

If you see this game in an arcade, get some gasoline and a match, pour the gasoline on the machine, then use the match to set it on fire. You'll probably get arrested, but at least you'll save the world from this piece of *F-word. And are you tired of my censorship yet?*.

-A Genius (I intend to do an actual review on Space Invaders someday. How *F-word, again.*ing cool is that?)

[ April 04, 2003, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: A Genius ]

SuperMarioBro#1 · 04-18-2003, 06:13 PM

Jeez, how much of a Fan-boy can DM be about CT(I'm not trying to make you mad or flame you)

With this review, I clarify, to be flamed into the universe, but...

Halo:

Okay, what the heck game is this crap! For all I care, next to Vice City, this is the most overrated thing ever. Whoopee, enemy A.I. can suck my balls! Gameplay, there is nothing to it! EGM giving it all 10's. I'll pee on their graves when they die for all 10's! I don't see why this is called a FPS, it should be ashamed to call it that. Now if you disagree, go suck D!ck.
______________________________________________
SMB#1's random quote of the day- I'll be back

Joke of The Week: None

VGF Member of The Day: Kearu 7

VGF Post of the week: Saying a system sucks because it can't play DVD's or CD's Is just like saying a system sucks because it can't make toast. - Codie Kitty

Advice of the week: Input Ali Zabu at the locked door at the east of inside the castle to open it.

[ April 18, 2003, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: Super Mario Bro #1 Plus 2 ]

A Genius · 04-18-2003, 07:04 PM

^Why would anyone flame you? You're supposed to make good games look like crap.

-A Genius (The luggage will bite your foot.)

[ April 18, 2003, 07:04 PM: Message edited by: A Genius is stupid ]

Valentine · 04-23-2003, 07:21 AM

Tetris

For the best selling game on the planet or whatever, you'd expect it to be good! You'd expect it to make good use of the pixels! You'd expect fun!
What you wouldn't expect was a "game" that scientists give monkeys to do!

The Concept: You take a load of stupid shaped bricks (i mean, who's ever seen an 'L' shaped brick?) and they somehow, magically fall from the sky, maybe someone off screen is throwing them or whatever. Anyway, they fall down, in fact they dont even fall down, THEY CRAWL DOWN! You'd think the makers would at least have the sense to know theres such a thing as gravity, man they suck. So anyway these dumb ass bricks fall and you've to put them in rows n your thinkin, 'bricks, rows.... they must be building a wall........WRONG!!' As you can probably tell, the makers arnt too bright, according to them, bricks are magical and when you get a full line, they vanish! Talk about pointless!
Oh yeah some number in the corner changes but this games so f**ked up i dont know what its for......

So I bet your thinkin, 'ok so this bit sucks but the rest of the game must be good yeah?', wanna know a secret? THATS THE WHOLE GAME!!! There isnt anything else! And on top of that the music in the game would drive even the most pacified monk insane!! Its all 'do dododo dododo dododo dododo dodo da da dodo' constantly! Mental!

Ok so i think ive covered everything so go out and buy it, if you like turds.

[ April 23, 2003, 07:24 AM: Message edited by: StuMan says: Guess whos back ]

ANDROSS · 04-23-2003, 11:40 AM

Pokemon ruby/sapphire

Oh great,ANOTHER Pokemon game.Oh great,ANOTHER few hundred pokemon.This game is just like all the others.You walk around,beat the crap out of little animals,then imprison them.Whoop-de-doo.The gameplay is the exact thing as the 100 Pokecrap games before it.Walk around with a person with funny hair,get into a "battle".

In this "battle",it's six pokemon against one.Oh,such a hard game.Generally,you choose an attack ,your pokemon maves around,and something shoots out and hits the other.That's it.The music...ugh.It's just a bunch of remixes of the original trashy tunes.

The terrible part is,more pokemon=more merchandise=more #&%&$ MANSIONS AND POOLS AND $&$(^ CARS FOR SHIGERU MIYAMOTO!!

Yoshimaster007 · 04-23-2003, 06:53 PM

I want to do Halo, too:

Halo

What we have here is the most overrated game in the entire universe. After giving themselves seizures from playing Halo seven hours into the night, it's no wonder Halo fanboys can't type.

Ok, the graphix here are decent, for X-box, at least. I mean, what's the big deal here? There's no graphix phenomenon about Halo. It looks just like every other X-box game.

And then there's the weapons. Man, what IS this sh*t? I'm carrying around a ball full of spikes, which I'm assuming is an alien equivelent of a machine gun. But it runs out of ammo so fast, why bother.

And then there's the AI. Yes, it sucks balls. I've been fighting aliens for an hour straight and I haven't been hit once. What's with that?

No, people, Halo is not the best game in the entire world. Judging from its horrible gameplay and storyline, I'm surprised it's the best on Xbox.

MarioMan* · 04-26-2003, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MarioMan* Got A Gameboy Advanced:
Chrono Trigger

WHAT IS THIS?!?! This game just sucks all around. The entire plot is some evil dude named Lavos is gonna destroy the world, and the only people who can stop it is a princess, a geek, a frog, a cavewoman who is in love with cats from Zero Wing, a R2D2 ripoff, a Grim Reaper ripoff, and a teenager who needs a haircut BADLY. Seriously, the battles get repetive, the jokes are lame, and the game is near impossible. Also, the story and side quests are too confusing, and really, isn't the Masamune used enough? I've got a Japaneese restruant named the Masamune. When I played it, it was impossible to beat that Godess-forsaken Dragon Tank. And why a Teen? Atleast FF6 for the SNES had adults! The only thing I liked about this was the music.

All-in-all, this game just had to be the one of ghosts that haunts me. This game should be burned, smashed, used as a baseball in the Majors, and sent to the Green Berets for target practice and toilet paper. It's that bad. I'm sorry if I insulted anyone with this review, but I'm stating my opinion. Thank you for listening, and if you didn't, screwball you.

How's that?

And, belive it or not, this is what I sort of think about CT.

Virtual Cat · 05-17-2003, 06:00 PM

Hey, this looks like fun. Let me join in.

Zelda: The Wind Waker

This game is absolute sh*t! First of all, THE GRAPHICS COMPLETELY SUCK!! Cell shading. Woop-dee-f**king-doo. And what's with the story line? Link's sister is kidnapped by a giant bird? So what? I don't give a sh*t. She can be forced to be in the same bathroom with 1,000 fat constipated people who consumed 4 bottles of laxitave each for all I care. Why doesn't Link go out and find his mom (however the hell she is) and get her to have sex with his dad (however the hell he is)? He'll have another sister in nine months.

Then there's the gameplay. After playing a demo, I wondered if a hundred skunk corpes where placed under my nose. Then I realized it was the game. All you do is hit things with sticks and swords. Woop-dee-f**king-do. And what's with the difficulty level? Nintendo still must be making games for little kids, because even retarded man who is constantly shoving hamsters up his ass could beat this game. Why don't you just give up Nintendo? Everyone knows that PLAYSTATION 2 AND X-BOX ARE BETTER AND WILL SELL BETTER THAN ANYTHING THAT NINTENDO SELLS!!!

What do you think? Some of this came from an idiot PS2 fanboy from my school. The last line is something Shane would say (so very, very true).

[ June 14, 2003, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: The Mighty Sharpedo ]

Silver Face · 06-03-2003, 01:00 PM

*Appears out of no where*

Here we go...

ANIMAL CROSSING

Honestly, who in their right mind would want to play a game that centers around buying furniture? If I wanted to buy freaking furniture, I would go with my mom to the antique mall. But I don't want furniture, do I? I want to play a game. Ooh, and once you get the furniture, you can put it in your house to make it pretty and to please the Happy Room Academy and use feng shui to get more magical happy fun furniture! Who designed this game? Christopher Lowell?

So when you're not searching for an pretty armoire and matching chairs, what can you do? Perhaps you can talk to your animal friends? Yes, nothings more fun than listening to a bunch of big headed animals ramble over and over about how some fortune teller is coming to town in voices that would give Alvin and the Chipmunks horrifying night mares! And then you'll talk to them again and they'll say the exact same freaking thing. Lovely.

Maybe you can do chores for the buggers. Hmm, Cupcake borrowed Peaches's hankerchief? Why are you letting people borrow your hankerchief anyway, you moron? Well, I'll go to Cupcake's place. What, she gave it to Louie? Fine, I'll go over to Louie's house. Huh? Grizzly has it now. FINE. I'll go to freaking Grizzly's place! Well what do you know. He's not there. I guess I'll search for him. So I search the town, and a half an hour late, I still haven't found him. Oh wait! He was in the acre with his house all the time. Behind the tree. So he tells me that I need to give the hanky back to Peaches. I don't know why she'd want it back, considering that it has the snot of half the town on it, but here. What? Stationery? I hope you break every bone in your body in the pitfall I dug for you.

Or perhaps you can fish or catch some bugs or dig some junk up to donate it to the museum. Of course, before you get to the museum, some stupid hippo runs up to you and takes your rare bug/fish/fossil and gives you a piece of letter writing paper without asking you. Ter-freaking-riffic.

Oh, and you can write letters! Yes! However, your efforts will be in vain, as all the animals in your village read at a kindergarten level. Send them a letter that says "Hi, how are you? Here's an apple!" and they'll reply with "Next time could you write any easy letter? You're rude! Quit trying to make me feel stupid! I'm a whiny snobby thieving frog who won't die despite being hit with an axe repeatedly!" IT'S ENOUGH TO DRIVE A MAN MAD!!!

Excuse me while I rearrange all the furniture in my house so that I'm lucky enough to never touch this travesty again!

There. Done. I could have added a lot more, but then it would be a bit too long. It's fun tearing apart your favorite game! Later, I'll do Mario Party 4... That'll be great.

[ June 03, 2003, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: UPS UFO ]

Kil'jaeden · 06-03-2003, 05:20 PM

I'll do..........

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 mad smilies

Superman [64]
This is the worst game in the universe.
A Sesame street game is better. Graphics, good if you live in block world. Sound, ahhh! evil monkeys. Gameplay. you fly around forever and use some power to kill some guys, but they'll kill you first,you have find the power, and then there are no enemies to fight. I almost wasted $40 on this piece of crappity crap. I rented it, hated it, and bought Paper Mario instead. This game should be blown to oblivion with a rocket launcher. Whoever made it should be ashamed to have thier names on it. Don't give a penny for it.

[Please don't stretch the page.-Dross]

[ June 03, 2003, 07:22 PM: Message edited by: A N D R O S S ]

I caught a zubat · 06-24-2003, 11:23 AM

Evolution Worlds

Today,were gonna eview the most crappiest rpg ever:Evolution Worlds.EW is the sequel's sequel to the most pointless game on Dreamcast,Evolution.Almost everything i mde ip in about 60 seconds.

First,let's look at the characters.There's a midgit looking guy with a thingi on his back,a Blonde haired B**** that's very tall(Or at least with those sandals on),A butler looking dude tat never opens his eyesa bluey,lasery woman,and a counterpart to that midgit guy.

Now,let's look at the story,It's about there 5 characters trying to save the world from monsters?WTF?What are they smoking?Iv'e seen tons of stupid stories like that,but so far,this is the worst.

Graphics:Hmm..........I don't know,they stupid!Even Loz:WW's grphics are better than this and so far those graphics suck @$$.

Music:Never played it,never heard it,never will.

Controls:Why should I explain?It's the same old crappy battle system that gets old pretty darn quick.You know thedril.Attack,get hit,reapeat until somebody dies.

And for the last part,let's look at one of the

I caught a zubat · 06-24-2003, 11:27 AM

Evolution Worlds

Today,were gonna review the most crappiest rpg ever:Evolution Worlds.EW is the sequel's sequel to the most pointless game on Dreamcast,Evolution.Almost everything made up in about 60 seconds.

First,let's look at the characters.There's a midgit looking guy with a thingie on his back,a Blonde haired B**** that's very tall(Or at least with those sandals on),A butler looking dude that never opens his eyes,a bluey,lasery woman,and a counterpart to that midgit guy.

Now,let's look at the story,It's about the 5 characters trying to save the world from monsters?WTF?What are they smoking?Iv'e seen tons of stupid stories like that,but so far,this is the worst.

Graphics:Hmm..........I don't know,they stupid!Even Loz:WW's grphics are better than this and so far those graphics suck @$$.

Music:Never played it,never heard it,never will.

Controls:Why should I explain?It's the same old crappy battle system that gets old pretty darn quick.You know the drill.Attack,get hit,repeat until somebody dies.

And for the last part,let's look at one of the chapters in this pos game.Let's see,hmm........It says here that Linear,the B****,gets kidnapped by a armyish looking guy and the midgit guy won't stand for this,so he goes,and fights a tank?OMGWTF?They are on drugs!there's probably no way for them to beat a tank!Unless,of course,if that Gre-nade guy takes a grenade from up his @$$ and blows up the entire world.

Fun factor:I doubt that you'll find yourself playing it.And I also doubt that you'll be playing it at all!

Conclusion:Hey!I better not see you pop this in to you Gamecube!I'm watching you!If I see it in there,I'll burn it to pieces.Don't slide it back in there!If I see any gamecubes with an EW gamedisk,I'll burn it to pieces.But I'll have to run quickly away from the police!

This game is a pos.Don't you dare buy it,rent it,heck,don't look in it's direction at all!

Please rate this review!

Codiekitty · 06-24-2003, 04:21 PM

Bionic Commando (NES version)

THIS HAS TO BE THE WORST GAME EVER MADE! IT MAKES HYDLIDE LOOK LIKE ZELDA!

THE STORY SUCKS. A GUY HAS TO SAVE SOME OTHER GUY FROM "THE BADDS". WHAT THE HELL KIND OF STUPID DAMN NAME IS THAT? "THE BADDS" IT SUCKS, I TELL YOU! SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!!!1

THE GAMEPLAY SUCKS! YOU RUN AROUND A SHOOT STUFF! I MEAN, THAT'S ALL YOU DID IN HALO ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER PLAYED IT BUT IT'S AWESOME, BUT SINCE THIS IS FOR NINTENDO IS SUCKS!!!

THE CONTROL SUCKS! AND THE STUPID PUNK CAN'T EVEN JUMP! WTFH? WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS IF YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE THE DAMN GUY JUMP? THE BIONIC CLAW CRAP IS A STUPID IDEA! I PLAYED THIS GAME FOR FIVE MINUTES, AND COULDN'T GET PAST THE FIRST DAMN STAGE BECAUSE OF THIS CRAP!

GRAPHICS SUCK! IN THE FIVE MINUTES I PLAYED THIS STEAMING PILE OF HORSE (curse), THERE WASN'T A SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD! THAT MEANS THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO BLOOD IN THE ENTIRE DAMN GAME! THIS STUPID KIDDY PUNK GAME! IT'S FOR THREE YEAR OLDS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO!

SOUND SUCKS! THE MUSIC AND SOUND JUST SUCK! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!

OVERALL, THIS GAME SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, AND SUCKS SOME MORE! STAY AWAY FROM THIS PILE OF MONKEY PUKE!

(Off topic: If you somehow think the original Bionic Commando is for three year olds, a) you've got very high "mature" standards and b) you've never seen the ending. How all that got by the censors is well beyond anyone but Capcom and Nintendo)

What do these Skitty find so facinating? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Go there to find out what facinates them so much!

[ June 24, 2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: CodieKitty ]

Sabrilocke · 06-24-2003, 09:32 PM

^
*runs away*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:

Behind the shed in Dorter, I used to... heh, heh... -Marilyn, Final Fantasy Tactics (NOT Advance)

What's Elly looking at? To find out, go to the Sacred Realm for the answer!
Visit Final Fantasy Compendium for all your Final Fantasy Questions!
And remember kids: Triangle Man hates Particle Man!

supperdish · 06-25-2003, 09:28 AM

Elmo's letter adventure

I think I've said enough...

Shyg · 06-26-2003, 10:18 PM

Let me tell you, if someone ever made a topic like this on the Starmen.Net forums, it'll be locked faster than you can say Chrono Trigger. Oh yeah, to MarioMan

Chrono Trigger bad?!? NO WAY YOU IDIOT!!! Crono needs a haircut? NO!!! If you can't beat this game, then I'm gonna shoot you! I guess you haven't gotten as far as I have, don't you? I got quite some progress. Haven't you heard of leveling up? I could help you, but the way you bashed this game, I won't, you idiot! Quit making me getting on your butthole!

All the other viewers, I'm sorry, but it has to be said...sigh...

And remember...YOU ARE DOOMED!!! Mwhaha! Mwhaha! Mwhahahaahahahahaha!!!!!!

A Genius · 06-26-2003, 11:20 PM

^Ah, but you neglect the fact that your SUPPOSED to giv the game the worst possible score, whether you like it or not! Read the first post in this topic, and you'll see!

-A Genius (IT'S LIKE MAGIC!!!)

supperdish · 06-27-2003, 09:08 AM

SHAZAM!

Codiekitty · 06-27-2003, 11:56 AM

That's originally what I thought. Of course, then I figured out what to do. It's called "READING".

Honestly, I love Bionic Commando to pieces. You're SUPPOSED to take a game you like (or don't like, but writing reviews like this for good games tends to be funner) and write a horrible "Bad-Points-Only" review for it.

You give Colonel Zadok a bad name.

What do these Skitty find so facinating? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Go there to find out what facinates them so much!

[ June 27, 2003, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: CodieKitty ]

04-04-2003, 08:45 PM	#21
Yoshimaster007 Banned Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: At the center of the Earth... on natural magnets. Posts: 2,130 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,166.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,666.00 Donate	Um, people.... please try to make your reviews make sense. I mean, people will only laugh at them if they make sense. Here's a hint: take the most common and notorious problems with a game, then bash and blow them all out of proportion. Like this: Unbloated: In Metroid, Samus shoots beams that disappear after several feet. Bloated: Look at this! Samus shoots little B-b's that barely make it past her nose! And this is supposed to take place in the future??! Yeah, something like that. I wish Motley Crue would post in this topic, since he did the original...

04-04-2003, 10:32 PM	#22
A Genius Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Place Posts: 2,657 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,310.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,810.00 Donate	Space Invaders WHAT THE F-word goes here???!1? HOW COULD ANY F word goes here too COULD ANYONE LIVE WITH THIS F-=word goes here as well????? Okay, so cliched aliens are taking over the world, I mean what the guess what word goes here were these guys smoking? Why aliens? Everyone's already seen aliens! How F-Word. W007.ing unoriginal is that? And you only have ONE weapon! ONE godF-word, censored so that I don't get bannedit! It's a weak F-word doesn't insult people, people insult peopleing laser! I mean, come on! And when F-word goes here, although it wouldn't actually make sense in this particular position in the sentence, but I don't care. you fire it, YOU CAN ONLY FIRE ONE AT A TIME! Stupid F-word, censored by moia. Is that how you spell "moia?", this is. If you see this game in an arcade, get some gasoline and a match, pour the gasoline on the machine, then use the match to set it on fire. You'll probably get arrested, but at least you'll save the world from this piece of F-word. And are you tired of my censorship yet?. -A Genius (I intend to do an actual review on Space Invaders someday. How F-word, again.ing cool is that?) [ April 04, 2003, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: A Genius ]

04-18-2003, 06:13 PM	#23
SuperMarioBro#1 Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Mushroom Kingdom: Now featuring Club 64 Posts: 931 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 776.50 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,276.50 Donate	Jeez, how much of a Fan-boy can DM be about CT(I'm not trying to make you mad or flame you) With this review, I clarify, to be flamed into the universe, but... Halo: Okay, what the heck game is this crap! For all I care, next to Vice City, this is the most overrated thing ever. Whoopee, enemy A.I. can suck my balls! Gameplay, there is nothing to it! EGM giving it all 10's. I'll pee on their graves when they die for all 10's! I don't see why this is called a FPS, it should be ashamed to call it that. Now if you disagree, go suck D!ck. ______________________________________________ SMB#1's random quote of the day- I'll be back Joke of The Week: None VGF Member of The Day: Kearu 7 VGF Post of the week: Saying a system sucks because it can't play DVD's or CD's Is just like saying a system sucks because it can't make toast. - Codie Kitty Advice of the week: Input Ali Zabu at the locked door at the east of inside the castle to open it. [ April 18, 2003, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: Super Mario Bro #1 Plus 2 ]

04-18-2003, 07:04 PM	#24
A Genius Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Place Posts: 2,657 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,310.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,810.00 Donate	^Why would anyone flame you? You're supposed to make good games look like crap. -A Genius (The luggage will bite your foot.) [ April 18, 2003, 07:04 PM: Message edited by: A Genius is stupid ]

04-23-2003, 07:21 AM	#25
Valentine Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Rural NZ. There are lots of sheep here. Gender: Posts: 6,933 Thanks: 22 Thanked 60 Times in 43 Posts Points: 14,053.45 Bank: 69,121.41 Total Points: 83,174.87 Donate	Tetris For the best selling game on the planet or whatever, you'd expect it to be good! You'd expect it to make good use of the pixels! You'd expect fun! What you wouldn't expect was a "game" that scientists give monkeys to do! The Concept: You take a load of stupid shaped bricks (i mean, who's ever seen an 'L' shaped brick?) and they somehow, magically fall from the sky, maybe someone off screen is throwing them or whatever. Anyway, they fall down, in fact they dont even fall down, THEY CRAWL DOWN! You'd think the makers would at least have the sense to know theres such a thing as gravity, man they suck. So anyway these dumb ass bricks fall and you've to put them in rows n your thinkin, 'bricks, rows.... they must be building a wall........WRONG!!' As you can probably tell, the makers arnt too bright, according to them, bricks are magical and when you get a full line, they vanish! Talk about pointless! Oh yeah some number in the corner changes but this games so f**ked up i dont know what its for...... So I bet your thinkin, 'ok so this bit sucks but the rest of the game must be good yeah?', wanna know a secret? THATS THE WHOLE GAME!!! There isnt anything else! And on top of that the music in the game would drive even the most pacified monk insane!! Its all 'do dododo dododo dododo dododo dodo da da dodo' constantly! Mental! Ok so i think ive covered everything so go out and buy it, if you like turds. [ April 23, 2003, 07:24 AM: Message edited by: StuMan says: Guess whos back ]

04-23-2003, 11:40 AM	#26
ANDROSS Andross, when you want your account back, IM Jay. Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: OH MY GOD MY VEINS HAVE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE BY A SPY MOOSE!!I AM FROM THE FUTURE! Posts: 9,773 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 569.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,069.00 Donate	Pokemon ruby/sapphire Oh great,ANOTHER Pokemon game.Oh great,ANOTHER few hundred pokemon.This game is just like all the others.You walk around,beat the crap out of little animals,then imprison them.Whoop-de-doo.The gameplay is the exact thing as the 100 Pokecrap games before it.Walk around with a person with funny hair,get into a "battle". In this "battle",it's six pokemon against one.Oh,such a hard game.Generally,you choose an attack ,your pokemon maves around,and something shoots out and hits the other.That's it.The music...ugh.It's just a bunch of remixes of the original trashy tunes. The terrible part is,more pokemon=more merchandise=more #&%&$ MANSIONS AND POOLS AND $&$(^ CARS FOR SHIGERU MIYAMOTO!!

04-23-2003, 06:53 PM	#27
Yoshimaster007 Banned Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: At the center of the Earth... on natural magnets. Posts: 2,130 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,166.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,666.00 Donate	I want to do Halo, too: Halo What we have here is the most overrated game in the entire universe. After giving themselves seizures from playing Halo seven hours into the night, it's no wonder Halo fanboys can't type. Ok, the graphix here are decent, for X-box, at least. I mean, what's the big deal here? There's no graphix phenomenon about Halo. It looks just like every other X-box game. And then there's the weapons. Man, what IS this sh*t? I'm carrying around a ball full of spikes, which I'm assuming is an alien equivelent of a machine gun. But it runs out of ammo so fast, why bother. And then there's the AI. Yes, it sucks balls. I've been fighting aliens for an hour straight and I haven't been hit once. What's with that? No, people, Halo is not the best game in the entire world. Judging from its horrible gameplay and storyline, I'm surprised it's the best on Xbox.

05-17-2003, 06:00 PM	#29
Virtual Cat Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: The middle of no where (Also known as Iowa) Gender: Posts: 965 Thanks: 0 Thanked 10 Times in 3 Posts Points: 654.49 Bank: 510.00 Total Points: 1,164.49 Donate	Hey, this looks like fun. Let me join in. Zelda: The Wind Waker This game is absolute sht! First of all, THE GRAPHICS COMPLETELY SUCK!! Cell shading. Woop-dee-fking-doo. And what's with the story line? Link's sister is kidnapped by a giant bird? So what? I don't give a sht. She can be forced to be in the same bathroom with 1,000 fat constipated people who consumed 4 bottles of laxitave each for all I care. Why doesn't Link go out and find his mom (however the hell she is) and get her to have sex with his dad (however the hell he is)? He'll have another sister in nine months. Then there's the gameplay. After playing a demo, I wondered if a hundred skunk corpes where placed under my nose. Then I realized it was the game. All you do is hit things with sticks and swords. Woop-dee-f**king-do. And what's with the difficulty level? Nintendo still must be making games for little kids, because even retarded man who is constantly shoving hamsters up his ass could beat this game. Why don't you just give up Nintendo? Everyone knows that PLAYSTATION 2 AND X-BOX ARE BETTER AND WILL SELL BETTER THAN ANYTHING THAT NINTENDO SELLS!!! What do you think? Some of this came from an idiot PS2 fanboy from my school. The last line is something Shane would say (so very, very true). [ June 14, 2003, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: The Mighty Sharpedo ]

06-03-2003, 01:00 PM	#30
Silver Face Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: In your grocery store\'s frozen food section Posts: 4,964 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 560.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,060.00 Donate	Appears out of no where Here we go... ANIMAL CROSSING Honestly, who in their right mind would want to play a game that centers around buying furniture? If I wanted to buy freaking furniture, I would go with my mom to the antique mall. But I don't want furniture, do I? I want to play a game. Ooh, and once you get the furniture, you can put it in your house to make it pretty and to please the Happy Room Academy and use feng shui to get more magical happy fun furniture! Who designed this game? Christopher Lowell? So when you're not searching for an pretty armoire and matching chairs, what can you do? Perhaps you can talk to your animal friends? Yes, nothings more fun than listening to a bunch of big headed animals ramble over and over about how some fortune teller is coming to town in voices that would give Alvin and the Chipmunks horrifying night mares! And then you'll talk to them again and they'll say the exact same freaking thing. Lovely. Maybe you can do chores for the buggers. Hmm, Cupcake borrowed Peaches's hankerchief? Why are you letting people borrow your hankerchief anyway, you moron? Well, I'll go to Cupcake's place. What, she gave it to Louie? Fine, I'll go over to Louie's house. Huh? Grizzly has it now. FINE. I'll go to freaking Grizzly's place! Well what do you know. He's not there. I guess I'll search for him. So I search the town, and a half an hour late, I still haven't found him. Oh wait! He was in the acre with his house all the time. Behind the tree. So he tells me that I need to give the hanky back to Peaches. I don't know why she'd want it back, considering that it has the snot of half the town on it, but here. What? Stationery? I hope you break every bone in your body in the pitfall I dug for you. Or perhaps you can fish or catch some bugs or dig some junk up to donate it to the museum. Of course, before you get to the museum, some stupid hippo runs up to you and takes your rare bug/fish/fossil and gives you a piece of letter writing paper without asking you. Ter-freaking-riffic. Oh, and you can write letters! Yes! However, your efforts will be in vain, as all the animals in your village read at a kindergarten level. Send them a letter that says "Hi, how are you? Here's an apple!" and they'll reply with "Next time could you write any easy letter? You're rude! Quit trying to make me feel stupid! I'm a whiny snobby thieving frog who won't die despite being hit with an axe repeatedly!" IT'S ENOUGH TO DRIVE A MAN MAD!!! Excuse me while I rearrange all the furniture in my house so that I'm lucky enough to never touch this travesty again! There. Done. I could have added a lot more, but then it would be a bit too long. It's fun tearing apart your favorite game! Later, I'll do Mario Party 4... That'll be great. [ June 03, 2003, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: UPS UFO ]

06-03-2003, 05:20 PM	#31
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 1,417 Thanks: 18 Thanked 37 Times in 28 Posts Points: 8,900.65 Bank: 820.30 Total Points: 9,720.95 Donate	I'll do.......... 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 mad smilies Superman [64] This is the worst game in the universe. A Sesame street game is better. Graphics, good if you live in block world. Sound, ahhh! evil monkeys. Gameplay. you fly around forever and use some power to kill some guys, but they'll kill you first,you have find the power, and then there are no enemies to fight. I almost wasted $40 on this piece of crappity crap. I rented it, hated it, and bought Paper Mario instead. This game should be blown to oblivion with a rocket launcher. Whoever made it should be ashamed to have thier names on it. Don't give a penny for it. [Please don't stretch the page.-Dross] [ June 03, 2003, 07:22 PM: Message edited by: A N D R O S S ]

06-24-2003, 11:23 AM	#32
I caught a zubat Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: In teh shadow realm Posts: 136 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,051.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,551.00 Donate	Evolution Worlds Today,were gonna eview the most crappiest rpg ever:Evolution Worlds.EW is the sequel's sequel to the most pointless game on Dreamcast,Evolution.Almost everything i mde ip in about 60 seconds. First,let's look at the characters.There's a midgit looking guy with a thingi on his back,a Blonde haired B**** that's very tall(Or at least with those sandals on),A butler looking dude tat never opens his eyesa bluey,lasery woman,and a counterpart to that midgit guy. Now,let's look at the story,It's about there 5 characters trying to save the world from monsters?WTF?What are they smoking?Iv'e seen tons of stupid stories like that,but so far,this is the worst. Graphics:Hmm..........I don't know,they stupid!Even Loz:WW's grphics are better than this and so far those graphics suck @$$. Music:Never played it,never heard it,never will. Controls:Why should I explain?It's the same old crappy battle system that gets old pretty darn quick.You know thedril.Attack,get hit,reapeat until somebody dies. And for the last part,let's look at one of the

06-24-2003, 11:27 AM	#33
I caught a zubat Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: In teh shadow realm Posts: 136 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,051.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,551.00 Donate	Evolution Worlds Today,were gonna review the most crappiest rpg ever:Evolution Worlds.EW is the sequel's sequel to the most pointless game on Dreamcast,Evolution.Almost everything made up in about 60 seconds. First,let's look at the characters.There's a midgit looking guy with a thingie on his back,a Blonde haired B** that's very tall(Or at least with those sandals on),A butler looking dude that never opens his eyes,a bluey,lasery woman,and a counterpart to that midgit guy. Now,let's look at the story,It's about the 5 characters trying to save the world from monsters?WTF?What are they smoking?Iv'e seen tons of stupid stories like that,but so far,this is the worst. Graphics:Hmm..........I don't know,they stupid!Even Loz:WW's grphics are better than this and so far those graphics suck @$$. Music:Never played it,never heard it,never will. Controls:Why should I explain?It's the same old crappy battle system that gets old pretty darn quick.You know the drill.Attack,get hit,repeat until somebody dies. And for the last part,let's look at one of the chapters in this pos game.Let's see,hmm........It says here that Linear,the B**,gets kidnapped by a armyish looking guy and the midgit guy won't stand for this,so he goes,and fights a tank?OMGWTF?They are on drugs!there's probably no way for them to beat a tank!Unless,of course,if that Gre-nade guy takes a grenade from up his @$$ and blows up the entire world. Fun factor:I doubt that you'll find yourself playing it.And I also doubt that you'll be playing it at all! Conclusion:Hey!I better not see you pop this in to you Gamecube!I'm watching you!If I see it in there,I'll burn it to pieces.Don't slide it back in there!If I see any gamecubes with an EW gamedisk,I'll burn it to pieces.But I'll have to run quickly away from the police! This game is a pos.Don't you dare buy it,rent it,heck,don't look in it's direction at all! Please rate this review!

06-24-2003, 04:21 PM	#34
Codiekitty Just Another Face in Red Jumpsuit Join Date: May 2001 Location: Lemmingland Gender: Posts: 19,143 Thanks: 121 Thanked 173 Times in 119 Posts Points: 43,521.72 Bank: 3,021,450.74 Total Points: 3,064,972.46 Donate	Bionic Commando (NES version) THIS HAS TO BE THE WORST GAME EVER MADE! IT MAKES HYDLIDE LOOK LIKE ZELDA! THE STORY SUCKS. A GUY HAS TO SAVE SOME OTHER GUY FROM "THE BADDS". WHAT THE HELL KIND OF STUPID DAMN NAME IS THAT? "THE BADDS" IT SUCKS, I TELL YOU! SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!!!1 THE GAMEPLAY SUCKS! YOU RUN AROUND A SHOOT STUFF! I MEAN, THAT'S ALL YOU DID IN HALO ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER PLAYED IT BUT IT'S AWESOME, BUT SINCE THIS IS FOR NINTENDO IS SUCKS!!! THE CONTROL SUCKS! AND THE STUPID PUNK CAN'T EVEN JUMP! WTFH? WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS IF YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE THE DAMN GUY JUMP? THE BIONIC CLAW CRAP IS A STUPID IDEA! I PLAYED THIS GAME FOR FIVE MINUTES, AND COULDN'T GET PAST THE FIRST DAMN STAGE BECAUSE OF THIS CRAP! GRAPHICS SUCK! IN THE FIVE MINUTES I PLAYED THIS STEAMING PILE OF HORSE (curse), THERE WASN'T A SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD! THAT MEANS THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO BLOOD IN THE ENTIRE DAMN GAME! THIS STUPID KIDDY PUNK GAME! IT'S FOR THREE YEAR OLDS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO! SOUND SUCKS! THE MUSIC AND SOUND JUST SUCK! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! OVERALL, THIS GAME SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS, AND SUCKS SOME MORE! STAY AWAY FROM THIS PILE OF MONKEY PUKE! (Off topic: If you somehow think the original Bionic Commando is for three year olds, a) you've got very high "mature" standards and b) you've never seen the ending. How all that got by the censors is well beyond anyone but Capcom and Nintendo) What do these Skitty find so facinating? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Go there to find out what facinates them so much! [ June 24, 2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: CodieKitty ]

06-25-2003, 09:28 AM	#36
supperdish Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: +3><@$ Gender: Posts: 4,033 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 5,418.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 5,918.00 Donate	Elmo's letter adventure I think I've said enough...

06-26-2003, 10:18 PM	#37
Shyg Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Parsons, TN Posts: 108 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 690.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,190.00 Donate	Let me tell you, if someone ever made a topic like this on the Starmen.Net forums, it'll be locked faster than you can say Chrono Trigger. Oh yeah, to MarioMan Chrono Trigger bad?!? NO WAY YOU IDIOT!!! Crono needs a haircut? NO!!! If you can't beat this game, then I'm gonna shoot you! I guess you haven't gotten as far as I have, don't you? I got quite some progress. Haven't you heard of leveling up? I could help you, but the way you bashed this game, I won't, you idiot! Quit making me getting on your butthole! All the other viewers, I'm sorry, but it has to be said...sigh... And remember...YOU ARE DOOMED!!! Mwhaha! Mwhaha! Mwhahahaahahahahaha!!!!!!

06-26-2003, 11:20 PM	#38
A Genius Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Place Posts: 2,657 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,310.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,810.00 Donate	^Ah, but you neglect the fact that your SUPPOSED to giv the game the worst possible score, whether you like it or not! Read the first post in this topic, and you'll see! -A Genius (IT'S LIKE MAGIC!!!)

06-27-2003, 09:08 AM	#39
supperdish Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: +3><@$ Gender: Posts: 4,033 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 5,418.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 5,918.00 Donate	SHAZAM!

06-27-2003, 11:56 AM	#40
Codiekitty Just Another Face in Red Jumpsuit Join Date: May 2001 Location: Lemmingland Gender: Posts: 19,143 Thanks: 121 Thanked 173 Times in 119 Posts Points: 43,521.72 Bank: 3,021,450.74 Total Points: 3,064,972.46 Donate	That's originally what I thought. Of course, then I figured out what to do. It's called "READING". Honestly, I love Bionic Commando to pieces. You're SUPPOSED to take a game you like (or don't like, but writing reviews like this for good games tends to be funner) and write a horrible "Bad-Points-Only" review for it. You give Colonel Zadok a bad name. What do these Skitty find so facinating? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Go there to find out what facinates them so much! [ June 27, 2003, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: CodieKitty ]