Twisted Metal Black Character Review

03-25-2003, 08:44 PM

Note:This isn't a full review of every damn detail TMB,just what I think of the characters.Go visit some other site for full reviews.

Well,PSX finnally got off their asses and knew that 989 Studios couldn't make ****.So Incog. got the job of makingthe next Twisted Metal,and i'll be damned if they didn't do a helluva job.

Billy Ray Stilwell/Junkyard Dog

What he looks like:A caveman in cool clothes
Story:
It be a sad one me boys,with just enogh murderin' keep it from getting gay.Its starts with Bill a-ho'ing his field,a plane goes,spreading some brown gas around and also causing Billy to pass out.He wakes up,all disfigured and mutanty.He hears his girlfriend,Annnie and the pilot talking about collecting his Life Issurance.Billy walks in on them,the pilot runs away,and like every hick he debates the issue out reasonably and with little anger.Yeah,right.What he really does is take a hoe and umm...Hoes the crap out Annie,causing me and my buddies to shed a tear at this show of justice.
Ending:Sweet,honey-roasted revenge awaits Billy,as he sees the pilot tied down to the ground.And shoot,the plane there too.And yes,Billy does run over the pilot.
Does he rock?Hell yeah,next to No-Face,Billy scores as the most kick-ass character in the game.

Raven/Shadow
What she looks like:A really,really,REALLY, hot goth.
Story:I'll be frank with you,this is the reason why I started the Fiend Empire.To score with chicks like that.It's also the reason why Spicy nearly beat the crap out of Syd,afterhis remark that she was a lesbo and causing the rest of Fiend Empire muc anger and sadness.What story?Oh right,her best friend(Also a goth) gets pushed off a pier by some *******s and causing her to drown.Blah blah blah Invoking the demon ***** inside blah blah
Ending:Clypso gives her 2 Voodoo Dolls and 2 pins.If you need more info then that,then your an idiot.

No-Face/Crazy 8
What he looks like:No face?What the hell do you want?
Story:Frank MacCutcheon's a boxer.He gets some bad scars from one fight and goes to a plastic surgeon?No big deal right?Wrong.As it turns out,The doc bet 2 Grand on Frank "TheTank" and lost.So what better way to get revenge then to pluck out bis eyes,cut off his tounge and stitch his lips and eyelids poorly?And yes,it did hurt like hell.
Ending:The doc is tied to a punching-bag.Calypso hands Frank a Boxing Glove with bladesattached.And so he utters one of the best quotes ever "First time I knocked sombody out with one punch"

NOTE:It takes awhile for me to make thse hilarious reviews so i'll post em one post at a time
Next Post:
Dollface,Preacher and Bloody mary.

03-25-2003, 08:44 PM	#1
spicy Guest Posts: n/a	Note:This isn't a full review of every damn detail TMB,just what I think of the characters.Go visit some other site for full reviews. Well,PSX finnally got off their asses and knew that 989 Studios couldn't make **.So Incog. got the job of makingthe next Twisted Metal,and i'll be damned if they didn't do a helluva job. Billy Ray Stilwell/Junkyard Dog What he looks like:A caveman in cool clothes Story: It be a sad one me boys,with just enogh murderin' keep it from getting gay.Its starts with Bill a-ho'ing his field,a plane goes,spreading some brown gas around and also causing Billy to pass out.He wakes up,all disfigured and mutanty.He hears his girlfriend,Annnie and the pilot talking about collecting his Life Issurance.Billy walks in on them,the pilot runs away,and like every hick he debates the issue out reasonably and with little anger.Yeah,right.What he really does is take a hoe and umm...Hoes the crap out Annie,causing me and my buddies to shed a tear at this show of justice. Ending:Sweet,honey-roasted revenge awaits Billy,as he sees the pilot tied down to the ground.And shoot,the plane there too.And yes,Billy does run over the pilot. Does he rock?Hell yeah,next to No-Face,Billy scores as the most kick-ass character in the game. Raven/Shadow What she looks like:A really,really,REALLY, hot goth. Story:I'll be frank with you,this is the reason why I started the Fiend Empire.To score with chicks like that.It's also the reason why Spicy nearly beat the crap out of Syd,afterhis remark that she was a lesbo and causing the rest of Fiend Empire muc anger and sadness.What story?Oh right,her best friend(Also a goth) gets pushed off a pier by some ***s and causing her to drown.Blah blah blah Invoking the demon *** inside blah blah Ending:Clypso gives her 2 Voodoo Dolls and 2 pins.If you need more info then that,then your an idiot. No-Face/Crazy 8 What he looks like:No face?What the hell do you want? Story:Frank MacCutcheon's a boxer.He gets some bad scars from one fight and goes to a plastic surgeon?No big deal right?Wrong.As it turns out,The doc bet 2 Grand on Frank "TheTank" and lost.So what better way to get revenge then to pluck out bis eyes,cut off his tounge and stitch his lips and eyelids poorly?And yes,it did hurt like hell. Ending:The doc is tied to a punching-bag.Calypso hands Frank a Boxing Glove with bladesattached.And so he utters one of the best quotes ever "First time I knocked sombody out with one punch" NOTE:It takes awhile for me to make thse hilarious reviews so i'll post em one post at a time Next Post: Dollface,Preacher and Bloody mary.