Metroid

A Genius · 04-09-2003, 06:38 PM

Nonlinearity. It's an art. It's not just never being told where to go, it's having a whole string of options at your disposal. Although "string of options" is a flawed statement. Considering that if you were to travel on the string, you'd go in a straight path. Incidentally, if you were to travel on a string, you'd be friggin small.

You don't have to think hard of which is better, the new Metroid, or the old Metroid. Metroid Fusion is a greta game, a bit of a departure, but so is Prime, so I'm not complaining. And Fusion has SA-X, W007.

Prime however, I can't stand. And I'm never going to write a review on it. Why? My reasons for disliking Prime are so rudimentary, so weird, and so random, that it's insane. But the fact is, I really, really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY hate FPSs.* So if I wrote a review on it it would probably go something like this:

FIRST PESRON SUX FIRST PERSON SUCKS FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRSTP PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX MY BUTT HEURTS FIRST PESRON SUX FIRST PERSON SUCKS FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRSTP PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX

Only a whole lot more so. I'm pretty sure that not even Andross, who accepts spam pretty lightly, would be able to let THAT go unlocked.

EGAD! Have we really gone through paragraphs without saying ANYTHING about the game other than "it's nonlinear?" Oh well. I guess that's all we ned to know.

Oh, and there is a major flaw gameplaywise. You see, every time you die, you start over with 30 points of health, with no energy tanks filled. Now, that's fine and everything, until you realize that A. Enemies can do a lot of damage to you (without the Varia suit), and B. You're going to have to kill a lot of enemies in order to get the health units you'll definetly need in the long and torturous passageways. A LOT. It's really repetetive.

Graphics are fair, sound and music is good, and replay value is high for reasons that I don't feel like telling you, but are probably pretty obvious.

Gameplay: 9/10
Graphics: 7/10
Sound/Music: 8/10
Replay Value: 9/10
Overall: 8.4/10

*If you call it an FPA, you're a fanboy. This doesn't apply to people that call it an FPA for no other reason than they simply don't care and got into the habit of it, or the people who call it an FPA but don't really care if anyone calls it an FPS.

-A Genius (Oh, and from now on, the gameplay score in my reviews will count twice.)

[ April 09, 2003, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: A Genius ]

***Heroine of the Dragon*** · 04-10-2003, 02:54 AM

I'm still picking up this game next week.

04-11-2003, 05:58 PM

Er... which Metroid are you reviewing? I can't tell...

A Genius · 04-11-2003, 07:15 PM

The original. The Metroid Fusion and Prime comments were just about how the series has evolved over the years.

-A Genius (Next Review: I don't know, but it'll make more sense than this one.)

Ozone Lapper · 04-12-2003, 09:46 PM

o really

A Genius · 04-13-2003, 01:44 PM

Yes. Really.

-A Genius (Do any of you have dreams of finding the person who decided that pop-up ads would be a good way of advertising sites, and kill him in a slow and torturous way? Not that I do or anything.)

04-09-2003, 06:38 PM	#1
A Genius Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Place Posts: 2,657 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Nonlinearity. It's an art. It's not just never being told where to go, it's having a whole string of options at your disposal. Although "string of options" is a flawed statement. Considering that if you were to travel on the string, you'd go in a straight path. Incidentally, if you were to travel on a string, you'd be friggin small. You don't have to think hard of which is better, the new Metroid, or the old Metroid. Metroid Fusion is a greta game, a bit of a departure, but so is Prime, so I'm not complaining. And Fusion has SA-X, W007. Prime however, I can't stand. And I'm never going to write a review on it. Why? My reasons for disliking Prime are so rudimentary, so weird, and so random, that it's insane. But the fact is, I really, really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY hate FPSs.* So if I wrote a review on it it would probably go something like this: FIRST PESRON SUX FIRST PERSON SUCKS FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRSTP PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX MY BUTT HEURTS FIRST PESRON SUX FIRST PERSON SUCKS FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRSTP PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX FIRST PERSON SUX Only a whole lot more so. I'm pretty sure that not even Andross, who accepts spam pretty lightly, would be able to let THAT go unlocked. EGAD! Have we really gone through paragraphs without saying ANYTHING about the game other than "it's nonlinear?" Oh well. I guess that's all we ned to know. Oh, and there is a major flaw gameplaywise. You see, every time you die, you start over with 30 points of health, with no energy tanks filled. Now, that's fine and everything, until you realize that A. Enemies can do a lot of damage to you (without the Varia suit), and B. You're going to have to kill a lot of enemies in order to get the health units you'll definetly need in the long and torturous passageways. A LOT. It's really repetetive. Graphics are fair, sound and music is good, and replay value is high for reasons that I don't feel like telling you, but are probably pretty obvious. Gameplay: 9/10 Graphics: 7/10 Sound/Music: 8/10 Replay Value: 9/10 Overall: 8.4/10 *If you call it an FPA, you're a fanboy. This doesn't apply to people that call it an FPA for no other reason than they simply don't care and got into the habit of it, or the people who call it an FPA but don't really care if anyone calls it an FPS. -A Genius (Oh, and from now on, the gameplay score in my reviews will count twice.) [ April 09, 2003, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: A Genius ]

04-10-2003, 02:54 AM	#2
*Heroine of the Dragon* The Grinnie Fool! ♥♥♥ VGFCodes Staff Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Twinklebutton Wintersprout Gender: Posts: 31,454 Thanks: 864 Thanked 851 Times in 632 Posts Blog Entries: 1	I'm still picking up this game next week.

04-11-2003, 05:58 PM	#3
Yoshimaster007 Guest Posts: n/a	Er... which Metroid are you reviewing? I can't tell...

04-11-2003, 07:15 PM	#4
A Genius Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Place Posts: 2,657 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	The original. The Metroid Fusion and Prime comments were just about how the series has evolved over the years. -A Genius (Next Review: I don't know, but it'll make more sense than this one.)

04-12-2003, 09:46 PM	#5
Ozone Lapper Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 19 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	o really

04-13-2003, 01:44 PM	#6
A Genius Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Place Posts: 2,657 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Yes. Really. -A Genius (Do any of you have dreams of finding the person who decided that pop-up ads would be a good way of advertising sites, and kill him in a slow and torturous way? Not that I do or anything.)