A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 (My worst review ever)

[A Genius]

I watched the sequel to A Nightmare on Elm Street last night. I can't tell you too much about the first film. Hell, I can't tell you too much about this one either, In fact, it would be more correct to say I watched PIECES of A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2. But I saw enough to catch Freddy killing a whole lot of people, which is probably enough. So let's get to one movie review!

I don't know a whole lot about Freddy. I saw a bit about how Freddy kidnapped horny teens , took them to a power station, and killed them before he started invading people's dreams, so I can't tell you more than that. In this movie, he makes pools boil, stuff explode, and people are expactantly killed, and then Freddy is defeated in the stupidest way possible, save one exception, which we'll get to later. Maybe.

In this movie, the main hero is name Jesse, and he constantly dreams of Freddy, and Freddy leaps out of his belly, and then turns back into Jesse with no seeming damage. Freddy talks in a really deep voice, and kills a whole lot of people in the movie's duration.

And he attacks people in their dreams. Not unlike a completely different monster, who doesn't do it to kill but to trick people into worshipping him. It works, too. I am talking, of course, about H P Lovecraft's Cthulhu.

Freddy and Cthulhu are really pretty similar; they invade people's dreams, the ultimate goal of taking over dreams is to get into the "real" world, and when they'r in the "real" world, they kill endlessly. The scenes near the end of this movie and the last bit of The Call of Cthulhu are both entertaining due to the amount of people that die interesting deaths in a short amount of time. Freddy boiled them in a pool, Cthulhu made them go permanetally insane for the rest of their now-short lives. It's not impossible that Cthulhu inspired Freddy somewhat. If so, I like Cthulhu better. Freddy's just a poser.

So... on subject, I saw a scene around the middle where Jesse and his parents are talking and one bird kills another bird, tries to kill Jesse's family, fails, and explodes. The explosion really comes out of nowhere, and is pretty cool. Shortly afterward we learn that Freddy used to kill horny teens in power plants.

Anyway... I did something else for a while, and went back to see more (the movie was a haloween special on TV), so I missed a bit. I got back around when they're having a pool party, and Jesse is talking to some guy how he wants the guy to make sure Jesse doesn't sleep, so he doesn't accidentally unleash Freddy so he can kill people. It really doesn't matter since Freddy enters the real world anyway. He kills Jesse's friend, tries to kill Jesse's girlfriend... yeah, did I mention her? I am now. All Freddy does is bite her ankle, though. Then he goes out to the pool party and kills everybody in amusing ways. Reminded me of Cthulhu's appearance at the end of The Call of Cthulhu. People dying left and right in various ways, that kind of thing. Pretty dang cool, actually. They were all annoying. They had it coming.

So Freddy goes off to his old power plant, and Jesse's girlfriend follows him. And, just as a reminder, Freddy is technically in Jsse's body. He still looks like he always does, but he's in Jesse's body. So Jesse's girlfriend has to face a bunch of dogs with baby heads (reminds me of Brown Jenkins the rat in Dreams in the Witch House, another Lovecraft talke; this time with Nyarlathotep and Azathoth. Two of the coolest damn monsters ever. Cthulhu is up there, too), but facing them is all she does, since they don't really pose much of a threat.

She looks for Freddy in the power plant, and finds a bunch of bugs eating at her bite from Freddy. She gets rid of them by slapping at them lightly and saying "Uh! Uh!" Then she encounters a small rat, screms, a giant rat goes and eats that rat, and she screams louder. I'm sure these movies aren't really meant to be scary. Then again, that what I said about Lovecraft when I read about Azathoth. I've been making a lot of Lovecraft references in this review, haven't I?

Eventually, she finds Freddy, and defeats him by kissing him. Yes, I'm serious. I'm not familiar with the series, but if that's the kind of death Freddy will always face, then... I dunno, I guess I'd say "That's too bad" and get on with my life, because NOONE gets mad because Freddy dies a pathetic death all the time. Cthulhu was also defeated in an interesting way, but he was defeated when a ship drove at full speed through his crotch. A bit more understandable (though weird) in my opinion.

But Cthulhu doesn't really die, and neither does Freddy. Because his hand pops out of his girfriend's girlfriend's shirts while he's on the schoolbus the next day. Thus Freddy kills them all, ending a movie too terrible not to watch.

Overall: This movie sucks, but in a good way. Granted, I did only see parts of it, but those parts were pretty damn hilarious, so the rest is probably the same (I hope). 3/5

-A Genius (Ia! Ia! Cthulhu F'thagn!)

A Genius gets a bag of Peach Rings and a bear hug. A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 SUCKED so badly it's not even funny.

That...

WAS GODLY