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Old 07-19-2006, 06:09 PM   #1
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Red face

I have just made my first comic to post and its at http://h1.ripway.com/bi55sm55/Stupermario1.GIF
Cut me some slack if its not to your liking its my first comic. Its called Stuper Mario Bros. not super stuper!

hello? Any comments?

Please RATE my comic PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

I would also like to give credit to No Body(at www.mfgg.com) most of the sprites I used he made.

Last edited by Seeking Attention; 07-22-2006 at 10:38 AM. Reason: Quit triple-posting, you.
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Old 07-19-2006, 09:53 PM   #2
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Perhaps you haven't learned some lessons from this thread: do not double post and do not expect replys within an hour. This board is not as active as the others.

Anyways, I'll give you a short review. Please don't be discouraged; these are all things you can improve upon:
  • The flow is terrible. Where does Mario go in the third panel? Which order do you read the text? (the first panel all muddles together)
  • The punchline is lacking. What is it, Luigi wants to buy women's clothes, but then Bowser buys them instead?
  • There are no backgrounds (although you make a half-hearted attempt with yellow clouds in the first panel). Is that 'the mall' in the fourth panel? Why is there only one block in a sea of blank?
  • The sprites are cut together poorly. The mushroom platform is inconsistent, the water is missing is places, and you don't even put in a sprite for Kamek. There are sprite artifacts, stray pixels, and GIF dithering.
  • The font, Arial, screams amateur. There is a grammar mistake in the second panel. Also, there is no need for eighteen exclaimation marks.
As with all things, comicking takes time, effort, and practice. Keep making comics and put an honest effort to improve.
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:11 AM   #3
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Red face

At least somebody rated the episode and ya I gonna try to improve but the backgrounds wont always be the greatest why? Because of the stupid white box problem but ive learned to sorda fix that!
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:30 AM   #4
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I'm of the school that a good artist never blames his/her tools. Learn how to create what you envision, don't make compromises based on lack of knowledge.
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:53 AM   #5
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Riiiiiiiiiiiight....
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Old 07-20-2006, 09:00 AM   #6
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well i think its hella tight for a first atempt
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Old 07-20-2006, 09:30 AM   #7
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does that mean good or bad?
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Old 07-20-2006, 12:16 PM   #8
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Red face Episode2 the x-naut menace(or something like that)

Hello and episode 2 is in! Im trying to improve on the comic,so rate the comic,leave any comments behind thank you!
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Old 07-20-2006, 12:18 PM   #9
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whoops i forgot to post a link here you go http://h1.ripway.com/bi55sm55/stupermario2.GIF
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Old 07-20-2006, 12:45 PM   #10
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It's okay, but why are they so small and hard to see and read?
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Old 07-20-2006, 01:43 PM   #11
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i dont no i why i find pretty easy to read but ill Try to make them bigger and better!
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Old 07-20-2006, 04:11 PM   #12
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Red face The bros make their escape!

Episode 3 or part 2 of episode 2 is here! I didint work on the humour but I threw in 1 gory part so heres the link!http://h1.ripway.com/bi55sm55/stupermario3.GIF
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Old 07-20-2006, 05:47 PM   #13
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Hello any comments?
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Old 07-20-2006, 06:32 PM   #14
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Exclamation Game Over or is it...

Hi im gonna take a break from Stuper Mario Bros. to work on my other comics and yes im sorry to Ace Mercury for triple posting(so dont complain).
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Old 07-20-2006, 07:56 PM   #15
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Alright someone make a comment please!!!!!!!!!
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:29 PM   #16
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Thumbs down

-1, Troll
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:34 PM   #17
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Why did you call me a troll?

Last edited by Seeking Attention; 07-23-2006 at 08:45 PM.
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:42 PM   #18
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Arrow

Okay, on second thought, I'm going to just assume you're not annoying on purpose with incessant posting.
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Old 07-20-2006, 08:54 PM   #19
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Old 07-20-2006, 09:04 PM   #20
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Um ok then...
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