Donkey Kong Grand Adventures

The Eddie Stilson · 09-22-2007, 11:58 PM

Hello, my name is Eric Kinkerman, and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota. I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist, adn some day i will even be better then Jay Resop. Im sorry, I'm a big fan but I will beat you one day. This is my first comic that wil be a smash hit on the interenet but I will display here on vgf first before I get my big break. It s about Donkey, Kong, Life, Death, Tradegy, Love, Drama, and many many....bananas. And now without further ado I present to you:

**Valigarmander** · 09-23-2007, 06:27 AM

Okay, where to start...

When making sprite comics, saving them as JPEGs are a no-no. They compress the files and make them blurry, which may be good for photographs or something, but not for sprite comics, where we're dealing with video game sprites.

Also, MS Paint paintbrushing is a telltale sign of amateurism and/or halfassery. Also, the font is big and awkward, and should at least be contained in some sort of speech-bubble.

Third, the panels are all different sizes, roughly cut, and placed in awkward positions. Did you use a rusty pair of scissors to make this?

Fourth, I can't tell what the hell is going on. Why the hell does the plane flip in the fourth panel? And while I'm at it... what's going on in the rest of the comic!?

Fifth, unless you do it just right, sprites generally don't mix with real photos. Jay Resop can do this (sort of). But K. Rool standing on top a photographed jet plane just doesn't look natural, or professional.

Sixth, the dialogue is poorly-written. Ever hear of punctuation? Also, the dialogue is bland and boring. Why not add some character to your character?

Finally... SO. MUCH. EMPTY. WHITE. SPACE. A sure sign of amateurism, and of the fact that the artist just got his hands on the latest copy of MS Paint 3000. There's no need for all that, or the huge text at the bottom. All of the text could have been shrunken down to make it less obnoxious.

I'm not being mean, I'm just giving you criticism. I'm not so sure right now, but perhaps with work this comic will turn out to be something great. Until then, keep working on it. Also, welcome to the forum.

**Loot** · 09-23-2007, 07:02 AM

Val, Dylan has done an EXCELLENT job of mixing real with sprites. Perhaps you should have read them when you had the chance.

**Valigarmander** · 09-23-2007, 10:34 AM

Oh, bosh.

Robotazy · 09-23-2007, 01:21 PM

Oh shiz!

DK is Dr. Octopus with a ripped up Technicolor Dreamcoat for the metal tentacles!

Oh, and.... the last 3 panels were funny in thier horriblness

fnord · 09-23-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Eddie Stilson

I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist

No such thing exists.
Really, making sprite comics can't become more than a hobby.

Panfan · 09-23-2007, 05:25 PM

*looks at grammar*

I'm scared.

Somebody hold me.

Typhlame · 09-23-2007, 05:44 PM

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwch.

**Loot** · 09-23-2007, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Eddie Stilson

and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota.

**Spit take**

WHAT THE ****.

**Valigarmander** · 09-23-2007, 06:05 PM

^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

Typhlame · 09-23-2007, 06:07 PM

He's younger than ME.

**Valigarmander** · 09-23-2007, 06:08 PM

I don't think age is the reason why L007 ruined my jacket.

Typhlame · 09-23-2007, 06:14 PM

Why was it?

Robotazy · 09-23-2007, 06:16 PM

The reason is Valigarmander deserved it.

Typhlame · 09-23-2007, 06:17 PM

^He deserves many things.

**X-3** · 09-23-2007, 06:27 PM

^Like an award for being the best dressed member.

Needs some visual work. I thought it was a bit funny, but the effects almost ruined it for me. For example, in the last panel, just get a picture of a plane over water instead of the same thing.

Typhlame · 09-23-2007, 06:28 PM

And why is the plane upside down on one panel?

**X-3** · 09-23-2007, 06:48 PM

Good point. Instead of that, find a picture of a plane taking off.

**Loot** · 09-23-2007, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valigarmander

^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

Ahaha, the stains will never come out!

Dylan · 09-23-2007, 07:54 PM

Quote:

This is bad, man! Rrrl bad!

-Dylan

09-22-2007, 11:58 PM	#1
The Eddie Stilson Newbie Join Date: Aug 2007 Gender: Posts: 17 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Donkey Kong Grand Adventures Hello, my name is Eric Kinkerman, and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota. I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist, adn some day i will even be better then Jay Resop. Im sorry, I'm a big fan but I will beat you one day. This is my first comic that wil be a smash hit on the interenet but I will display here on vgf first before I get my big break. It s about Donkey, Kong, Life, Death, Tradegy, Love, Drama, and many many....bananas. And now without further ado I present to you:

09-23-2007, 06:27 AM	#2
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Okay, where to start... When making sprite comics, saving them as JPEGs are a no-no. They compress the files and make them blurry, which may be good for photographs or something, but not for sprite comics, where we're dealing with video game sprites. Also, MS Paint paintbrushing is a telltale sign of amateurism and/or halfassery. Also, the font is big and awkward, and should at least be contained in some sort of speech-bubble. Third, the panels are all different sizes, roughly cut, and placed in awkward positions. Did you use a rusty pair of scissors to make this? Fourth, I can't tell what the hell is going on. Why the hell does the plane flip in the fourth panel? And while I'm at it... what's going on in the rest of the comic!? Fifth, unless you do it just right, sprites generally don't mix with real photos. Jay Resop can do this (sort of). But K. Rool standing on top a photographed jet plane just doesn't look natural, or professional. Sixth, the dialogue is poorly-written. Ever hear of punctuation? Also, the dialogue is bland and boring. Why not add some character to your character? Finally... SO. MUCH. EMPTY. WHITE. SPACE. A sure sign of amateurism, and of the fact that the artist just got his hands on the latest copy of MS Paint 3000. There's no need for all that, or the huge text at the bottom. All of the text could have been shrunken down to make it less obnoxious. I'm not being mean, I'm just giving you criticism. I'm not so sure right now, but perhaps with work this comic will turn out to be something great. Until then, keep working on it. Also, welcome to the forum.

09-23-2007, 07:02 AM	#3
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts	Val, Dylan has done an EXCELLENT job of mixing real with sprites. Perhaps you should have read them when you had the chance.

09-23-2007, 10:34 AM	#4
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Oh, bosh.

09-23-2007, 01:21 PM	#5
Robotazy PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,483 Thanks: 529 Thanked 1,254 Times in 897 Posts Blog Entries: 46	Oh shiz! DK is Dr. Octopus with a ripped up Technicolor Dreamcoat for the metal tentacles! Oh, and.... the last 3 panels were funny in thier horriblness

09-23-2007, 05:25 PM	#7
Panfan AND HE PRAYS Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Grayskull Gender: Posts: 18,806 Thanks: 1,405 Thanked 2,251 Times in 1,339 Posts Blog Entries: 15	looks at grammar I'm scared. Somebody hold me.

09-23-2007, 05:44 PM	#8
Typhlame Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,284 Thanks: 709 Thanked 155 Times in 110 Posts	Owwwwwwwwwwwwwch.

09-23-2007, 06:05 PM	#10
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

09-23-2007, 06:07 PM	#11
Typhlame Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,284 Thanks: 709 Thanked 155 Times in 110 Posts	He's younger than ME.

09-23-2007, 06:08 PM	#12
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I don't think age is the reason why L007 ruined my jacket.

09-23-2007, 06:14 PM	#13
Typhlame Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,284 Thanks: 709 Thanked 155 Times in 110 Posts	Why was it?

09-23-2007, 06:16 PM	#14
Robotazy PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,483 Thanks: 529 Thanked 1,254 Times in 897 Posts Blog Entries: 46	The reason is Valigarmander deserved it.

09-23-2007, 06:17 PM	#15
Typhlame Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,284 Thanks: 709 Thanked 155 Times in 110 Posts	^He deserves many things.

09-23-2007, 06:27 PM	#16
X-3 Useful as an Owl Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,947 Thanks: 753 Thanked 1,213 Times in 790 Posts Blog Entries: 10	^Like an award for being the best dressed member. Needs some visual work. I thought it was a bit funny, but the effects almost ruined it for me. For example, in the last panel, just get a picture of a plane over water instead of the same thing.

09-23-2007, 06:28 PM	#17
Typhlame Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,284 Thanks: 709 Thanked 155 Times in 110 Posts	And why is the plane upside down on one panel?

09-23-2007, 06:48 PM	#18
X-3 Useful as an Owl Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,947 Thanks: 753 Thanked 1,213 Times in 790 Posts Blog Entries: 10	Good point. Instead of that, find a picture of a plane taking off.