One Dark Night

Redshirt · 11-02-2007, 08:18 PM

Enjoy,

All sprites are from ether Spriters Resource or Shyguy Kingdom

Note: The goombas are supposed to be wearing lab coats.

Redshirt · 11-03-2007, 01:10 PM

part #2
now with word bubbles

Dylan · 11-03-2007, 11:16 PM

Really bad.

1. That lightning is just awful. So is the hole in the castle. Work on some depth.

2. What's with those awful teeth and eyebrows on "Goomzilla"? This falls in the same line as #1.

3. "Gaint"? A little proper spelling and grammar wouldn't kill you, would it?

4. The last frame of the second comic screams "Look at me! I'm a lazy sack of crap!" If you're going to put that many panels into your comic, you should at least be able to fill all of them.

5. The intro to the comic (You, I presume, walking in stating you need a plot.) is just awkward and unnecessary overall. Why bother with it?

This comic needs work. Get crackin'.

-Dylan

Redshirt · 11-06-2007, 06:14 PM

Part 3

the story is going to get better

BLUEShyGuy · 11-06-2007, 08:46 PM

i think its awesome!! +1 for u woot!!

Dylan · 11-06-2007, 09:13 PM

^ I think you're wrong. Very wrong. Why are you so wrong?

Do you really need to label "What Luigi sees" and "dust clouds"? For that matter, don't use the spray tool for dust, blood, fire, etc. There are plenty of ways to manipulate sprites to create clouds of dust; quit being so goddamn lazy.

-Dylan

BLUEShyGuy · 11-07-2007, 01:18 PM

dont listen to him its awesome!!

Redshirt · 11-07-2007, 03:29 PM

^^I've made better dust clouds, but the new picture wont load properly
And no the "What Luigi Sees" isn't really necessary, but why not?

-MusnMan

Dylan · 11-07-2007, 07:30 PM

^^ Yeah, you're completely right; don't listen to the mod of this forum. That's a great idea.

^ Why not? Because you just said it yourself; it's unnecessary. Why is there reason to have it? Just don't do it anymore.

-Dylan

Redshirt · 11-07-2007, 08:21 PM

^Fine I wasn't planning on using binoculars again anyway

-MusnMan

**Loot** · 11-07-2007, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLUEShyGuy

dont listen to me i have adhd!!!

Redshirt · 11-09-2007, 03:07 PM

in case your wondering the background is lighter because it's day time now

BLUEShyGuy · 11-09-2007, 03:11 PM

wtf

what did i do?!!!

Redshirt · 11-09-2007, 03:18 PM

^ no idea
-MusnMan

Luigiman7 · 11-09-2007, 04:07 PM

Its not so bad.

Redshirt · 11-09-2007, 04:16 PM

In the next comic I will get back to Mario and Luigi

SephirothKirby · 11-09-2007, 04:21 PM

How sly, indicating the readers that it's a bush by having Toadsworth say it instead of labeling it "Bush"

Oh wait, that's not sly.

Seriously, if you feel you need to label it in ANY sense, it is NOT a good Bush. Plus, that's on even a sprite, it's just an MS Paint scribble. You've been told this. You have good potential if you use it.

Redshirt · 11-09-2007, 04:27 PM

The bush isn't suposed to look realistic you'll understand why in a later comic

-MusnMan

BLUEShyGuy · 11-09-2007, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SephirothKirby

Plus, that's on even a sprite, it's just an MS Paint scribble. You've been told this. You have good potential if you use it.

i know its not a sprite its a drawing in ms paint

SephirothKirby · 11-09-2007, 04:44 PM

^^ Does that have anything to do with what I just said?

I mean I suppose it does, but I wasn't speaking to you, so it doesn't.

EDIT: Oh, thanks Dylan, you told him before I could.

11-03-2007, 11:16 PM	#3
Dylan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 7,790 Thanks: 1,632 Thanked 1,816 Times in 773 Posts	Bad. Really bad. 1. That lightning is just awful. So is the hole in the castle. Work on some depth. 2. What's with those awful teeth and eyebrows on "Goomzilla"? This falls in the same line as #1. 3. "Gaint"? A little proper spelling and grammar wouldn't kill you, would it? 4. The last frame of the second comic screams "Look at me! I'm a lazy sack of crap!" If you're going to put that many panels into your comic, you should at least be able to fill all of them. 5. The intro to the comic (You, I presume, walking in stating you need a plot.) is just awkward and unnecessary overall. Why bother with it? This comic needs work. Get crackin'. -Dylan

11-06-2007, 06:14 PM	#4
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	Part 3 the story is going to get better Last edited by Redshirt; 11-07-2007 at 03:33 PM.

11-07-2007, 03:29 PM	#8
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	^^I've made better dust clouds, but the new picture wont load properly And no the "What Luigi Sees" isn't really necessary, but why not? -MusnMan Last edited by Redshirt; 11-08-2007 at 02:17 PM. Reason: It is possible

11-09-2007, 04:21 PM	#17
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. Gender: Posts: 7,213 Thanks: 373 Thanked 760 Times in 447 Posts	How sly, indicating the readers that it's a bush by having Toadsworth say it instead of labeling it "Bush" Oh wait, that's not sly. Seriously, if you feel you need to label it in ANY sense, it is NOT a good Bush. Plus, that's on even a sprite, it's just an MS Paint scribble. You've been told this. You have good potential if you use it. Last edited by SephirothKirby; 11-09-2007 at 04:43 PM. Reason: Typo.

11-02-2007, 08:18 PM	#1
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	One Dark Night Enjoy, All sprites are from ether Spriters Resource or Shyguy Kingdom Note: The goombas are supposed to be wearing lab coats. Last edited by Redshirt; 11-03-2007 at 12:37 PM. Reason: I can

11-03-2007, 01:10 PM	#2
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	part #2 now with word bubbles Last edited by Redshirt; 11-04-2007 at 11:06 AM.

11-06-2007, 08:46 PM	#5
BLUEShyGuy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UP YOUR MOTHER HUGGEN BUTT Gender: Posts: 90 Thanks: 9 Thanked 11 Times in 2 Posts	i think its awesome!! +1 for u woot!!

11-06-2007, 09:13 PM	#6
Dylan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 7,790 Thanks: 1,632 Thanked 1,816 Times in 773 Posts	^ I think you're wrong. Very wrong. Why are you so wrong? Do you really need to label "What Luigi sees" and "dust clouds"? For that matter, don't use the spray tool for dust, blood, fire, etc. There are plenty of ways to manipulate sprites to create clouds of dust; quit being so goddamn lazy. -Dylan

11-07-2007, 01:18 PM	#7
BLUEShyGuy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UP YOUR MOTHER HUGGEN BUTT Gender: Posts: 90 Thanks: 9 Thanked 11 Times in 2 Posts	dont listen to him its awesome!!

11-07-2007, 07:30 PM	#9
Dylan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 7,790 Thanks: 1,632 Thanked 1,816 Times in 773 Posts	^^ Yeah, you're completely right; don't listen to the mod of this forum. That's a great idea. ^ Why not? Because you just said it yourself; it's unnecessary. Why is there reason to have it? Just don't do it anymore. -Dylan

11-07-2007, 08:21 PM	#10
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	^Fine I wasn't planning on using binoculars again anyway -MusnMan

11-09-2007, 03:07 PM	#12
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	in case your wondering the background is lighter because it's day time now

11-09-2007, 03:11 PM	#13
BLUEShyGuy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UP YOUR MOTHER HUGGEN BUTT Gender: Posts: 90 Thanks: 9 Thanked 11 Times in 2 Posts	wtf what did i do?!!!

11-09-2007, 03:18 PM	#14
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	^ no idea -MusnMan

11-09-2007, 04:07 PM	#15
Luigiman7 ヽ(◔ ◡ ◔)ノ.･ﾟ*｡･+☆ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ~)´◡｀(~ Gender: Posts: 17,605 Thanks: 1,134 Thanked 1,012 Times in 713 Posts Blog Entries: 8	Its not so bad.

11-09-2007, 04:16 PM	#16
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	In the next comic I will get back to Mario and Luigi

11-09-2007, 04:27 PM	#18
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	The bush isn't suposed to look realistic you'll understand why in a later comic -MusnMan

11-09-2007, 04:44 PM	#20
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. Gender: Posts: 7,213 Thanks: 373 Thanked 760 Times in 447 Posts	^^ Does that have anything to do with what I just said? I mean I suppose it does, but I wasn't speaking to you, so it doesn't. EDIT: Oh, thanks Dylan, you told him before I could.