My NES-related sprite comics

[DRW]

I created some sprite comics some months ago and I'd really like to read your feedback, either positive or negative one.
They were not inspired by any other sprite comic. I knew that sprite comics exists, but I didn't know them well enough to take their specific ideas. But if you still find one of my works where you feel that its idea might have been taken from another sprite comic (or anything else), just let me know.
If there are any spelling or grammatical errors in the comics (or in the comments at the site, but especially in the comics since they are the most important part), please tell me, since English is not my native language, but I try to avoid any errors.
The website itself is in German, but the sprite comic section is in English.


Sprite Comics start page


Episode 1-1: "Pac-Man"

Episode 1-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Episode 1-3: "The Legend of Zelda"

Episode 1-4: "Metroid"

Episode 1-5: "Castlevania"

Episode 1-6: "Bomberman"

Episode 1-7: Crossover


Episode 2-0: Introduction (I don't know if it is allowed to post it here since it contains nudity, so I don't post the link for it.)

Episode 2-1: "Pac-Man"

Episode 2-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Episode 2-3: "The Legend of Zelda"

Episode 2-4: "Metroid"

Episode 2-5: "Castlevania"

Episode 2-6: "Bomberman"

Episode 2-7: Crossover


Episode 3-1: "Pac-Man"

Episode 3-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Episode 3-3: "The Legend of Zelda"

Episode 3-4: "Metroid"

Episode 3-5: "Castlevania"

Episode 3-6: "Bomberman"

Episode 3-7: Crossover


Added on August the 3rd, 2009:

Episode 4-1: "Pac-Man"

Episode 4-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Episode 4-3: "The Legend of Zelda"

Episode 4-4: "Metroid"

Episode 4-5: "Castlevania"

Episode 4-6: "Bomberman"

Episode 4-7: Crossover


Added on July the 2nd, 2010:

Episode 5-0: Introduction

Episode 5-1: "Pac-Man"

Episode 5-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Special episode 5-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Episode 5-3: "The Legend of Zelda"

Episode 5-4: "Metroid"

Episode 5-5: "Castlevania"

Episode 5-6: "Bomberman"

Special episode for season 5: "Duck Hunt"

Episode 5-7: Crossover

[Cosmonautical]

Okay, so far 2-1 is the first one I've found funny. There a few jokes in the earlier ones that could be humorous enough to get a grin, but I'm finding the delivery pretty thin. A lot of this might be watchable humor in something animated with voices, but the way the situations are presented seems contrived. If you have to go out of your way to explain a joke to someone, they're probably not going to find it funny. A lot of these might make you chuckle, but I'm either not catching the references or just don't find the situations humorous enough. Jokes like this could be better with a different medium, but sprite comics don't have any way to suggest emotion aside from text. Onward to the rest.

2-2 is a decent joke, a much more universal theme. Still lacking delivery, but it got a smirk out of me. Mario's not the best system of delivery for this, I feel - if the comic focused on someone else being outright appalled and outraged over the fact that Mario is a farce and Koopa's an idiot, you'd really have something. Especially if it were in a running dialog where one person doesn't see the big deal, and it becomes a point of contention between the characters. I'd make a mock-up of something just to illustrate the point, but I don't have the time. It would probably even help to breakup the dialog - it's lengthy, and the best strips often use as few word bubbles as possible. Also, the lack of emotion visible in the characters is making the visuals - as nicely assembled as they are - fall short of the text. Also, in Wart's defense, I'm pretty certain the vegetable machine is there because he has stolen it and taken the subcons hostage - trying to keep the vegetables from being distributed in the world because he hates them.

2-3 Decent joke, delivery's getting a bit better. Don't know why they're suddenly in a different room, last panel, I guess Link chased Pit there? Took a while to setup the joke, but it helped. Try using contractions, Link sounds like a robot and it'll make it more tolerable to read the whole thing and get the joke.

2-4 You had a good thing going there in the first 2 frames, so I'll forgive you for botching it with the last 2. Don't reach so far for the jokes - insults are very hard to carry out without them seeming contrived. Easy to see through it and say "This was just written by the author, both sides, so of course someone's going to set theirself up just to take a punchline."
I didn't recognize the Lara Croft sprite until I saw the background, either. Try to play to your audience - stick to recognizable sprites.

2-5 Buffy the Vampire Layer, no thanks. Good idea for a comic, again, but the dialog is still stiff.

2-6 I get the Spy vs Spy theme, and it makes a good comparison between the Mad comic and Bomberman. What I don't get is what has happened in the comic. Also, Spy vs Spy isn't ever really funny. Okay, I just looked at it again, and the white Bomberman explodes. Clever, but it didn't really work for me without animation.

2-7 Okay, this one is actually interesting. I don't find it funny, but I like the concept a lot.

3-1 Yeah, it would be nice if you could talk your way out of battles in videogames. Boring, but it would definitely help. Still not finding it very humorous.

3-2 Better comic, but when has being in a different kingdom stopped Mario from getting a new girl? That guy's all over the place, man. Still, good concept. Better, and less dialog = closer to your goal.

3-3 Just not my kind of joke. Some weird hiccups in the dialog that are making me think English isn't your first language. A Flaw in your logic: The dungeons are actually Zelda's, Ganon's minions crawl all over them but don't find the Triforce. Hard to believe, but that's what they(Nintendo) were going for.

3-4 I like this one, mostly because it's Metroid. It's also short and to the point. I've always wondered what metroids would do with an extra moving target in the room. It's still a very niche joke, but at least there aren't any game/tv crossovers involved.

3-5 Yeah, Death is a bigger pain in the ass than Dracula. External characters would've been better to present the argument, though. I didn't really care for the actual punchline.

3-6 I don't really see the humor in it. White Bomberman is a quitter?

3-7 Yeah, that was a better one again. Not a big laugh, but it's a widely recognizable theme. This reminds me of Seanbaby's (http://www.seanbaby.com) rant about how bizarre it is that Dr. Wily repeatedly creates 8 deadly robots and locks them in garages, waiting to be killed.

I'm sorry if I come off a bit harsh, I may be a hard man to please. I've never been very big on sprite comics, but your dialog could definitely use some work. Your concepts and themes have gotten better as you've gone along, but they just aren't enough to make me laugh.

[DRW]

Alright, thanks for your comment.
Let me say some things to some of your statements.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

If you have to go out of your way to explain a joke to someone, they're probably not going to find it funny.

Well, that was only the case in 1-1 and actually it wasn't an explanation of the joke, but additional information about the game itself that maybe not everybody knows.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

Don't know why they're suddenly in a different room, last panel, I guess Link chased Pit there?

Yes, Link runs after Pit.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

I didn't recognize the Lara Croft sprite until I saw the background, either. Try to play to your audience - stick to recognizable sprites.

Unfortunately that's the only 8 bit sprite for Lara Croft, so I had no other choice.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

What I don't get is what has happened in the comic. [...] Okay, I just looked at it again, and the white Bomberman explodes.

Actually the Bomberman on the street was just a dummy. The real Bomberman is on the roof of the house which can be seen in the last panel. But many people don't get this joke.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

Better comic, but when has being in a different kingdom stopped Mario from getting a new girl? That guy's all over the place, man.

The idea behind this is that Princess Toadstool seems to be the only female in the whole Mushroom Kingdom. Think about it: Did you ever see another woman there? (Of course only counting the games that I listed as "logically possible to be canon" in my theories thread.) And so, Mario's only alternative would be Wendy. Concerning your question: When did Mario ever get a new girl besides Princess Toadstool? He only had Pauline and that was at a time when he still lived in Brooklyn (because we all know that Mario is not a native Mushroom Kingdom inhabitant and he was not brought by a stork and Luigi is his younger brother, not his twin brother).

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

Just not my kind of joke. Some weird hiccups in the dialog that are making me think English isn't your first language.

If there are any linguistical errors in the language, please tell me exactly where they are, so that I can correct them.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

A Flaw in your logic: The dungeons are actually Zelda's, Ganon's minions crawl all over them but don't find the Triforce. Hard to believe, but that's what they(Nintendo) were going for.

Right: It's not a flaw in my logic, it's a flaw in Nintendo's own logic which claims that Zelda herself hid the Triforce in the dungeons. And that's the point in the comic: This makes no sense, that's why the whole adventure was a show and Link had to find out the plot holes.

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

3-5 Yeah, Death is a bigger pain in the ass than Dracula. External characters would've been better to present the argument, though.

But how should that have worked? The whole sketch is based on the Grim Reaper and the fact that he actually isn't allowed to actively fight agains persons who's time hasn't come yet. How should I have done it with another character?

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

I don't really see the humor in it. White Bomberman is a quitter?

No. It's about the fact that both Bombermen try to kill each other, although in the VS mode you have to win five times. So, killing the opponent doesn't change anything, you just win a round. That's the point: Black Bomberman is so happy that he killed his enemy, but in the next scene White Bomberman is alive again. He asks Black Bomberman if he can go home now because he is bored of the whole "killing each other without any long term effect".

Originally Posted by McSARS DOUBLE SARS

I'm sorry if I come off a bit harsh, I may be a hard man to please.

That's no problem. As I said: Either positive or negative feedback. And the things you wrote are much more interesting than a simple "Hey, they are pretty good."

P.S.:
- How do you like the background poster in episode 2-0?
- Do you know who the singers at the poster in episode 3-7 are? (The middle one ("Jeany") you will probably not know since she's only really known in Germany, but the others should be possible.)
- Did you undestand the reference in 1-2?

[Dylan]

First of all, why the pixelated nudity? Is it really necessary?

Second, the sprites you made are too blocky and lack a lot of detail. If you can't start from scratch, just borrow a character model and go from there.

[DRW]

Originally Posted by Dylan

First of all, why the pixelated nudity? Is it really necessary?

Not necessary, but this Samus image is perfect for such an edit, so I used it. It's not necessary, but it isn't bad either, is it? (If you think it is, then why?)

Originally Posted by Dylan

Second, the sprites you made are too blocky and lack a lot of detail. If you can't start from scratch, just borrow a character model and go from there.

You mean my self-made sprites? How can they be too blocky? Their size is in a 16x32 pixels frame, so they are as big as normal NES sprites and as blocky as them:

Concerning the lack of detail you may have a point. Real NES sprites are usually drawn better. But taking an already existing character model was out of question. I deliberately chose an own style to distinguish the video game characters from guest roles of real persons or TV characters. And I doubt that this would have looked much better:

Besides, everyone does it. Almost always when someone appears in his own comic, he is a Mega Man edit.

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by DRW

(If you think it is, then why?)

Because it's pixelated nudity. Seriously, man. It's right down there with hentai.

[DRW]

Originally Posted by Dylan

Because it's pixelated nudity. Seriously, man. It's right down there with hentai.

Oh yes, really. A picture of a nude woman is the same as hardcore pornography.

[Dylan]

A picture of a naked real woman is one thing...

Dammit, do I really have to go on this tirade again? Go out and get laid. All of you. Go.

[DRW]

Alright, let's summarize it: A photo of a real nude woman is "one thing". But an image of a nude low resolution pixel character is like a harcore anime movie. Alright. That makes sense.

[Cosmonautical]

Your question about 2-0: Well, that's about as nice looking as a 4-bit naked woman is going to get. I don't really have much more to say than "good job on the edit". As to what it does for the comic.. Well, it does nothing except make me stare in wonder as to why you would include it in the comic. If you wanted to prove you could do a better job than Custer's Revenge, congratulations. It's still a 4-color pixelized drawing of a naked woman, and you'll probably just weird out a lot of people.

I don't really have a problem with unnecessary nudity, but I didn't seek out the link because I assumed it would be what it is.

[DRW]

The actual reason why I used that image was because I wanted to show how easily you can create a nude Samus Aran. That's not possible with other versions of her sprite (like the Game Boy version), except if you do a certain amount of own creative work. But the NES image, because of its simplicity and the skin-tight bikini, is predestined for such an edit. And if there was a further ending in the game next to "turning away", "victory pose", "without helmet", "without suit" and "in a bikini", then she probably would have looked exactly like that. (Except maybe for the fact that she wouldn't be shaved down there since the game was created in the 80s. ) I used the image because it looks like as if it was taken directly from the game contrary to nude edits of other characters where you see that this could have just been created because the artist drew some parts himself.

P.S.: I still need the linguistical error in the third "Zelda" comic that you mentioned.

[Cosmonautical]

"We know eachother for one year now" would make more sense as "We've known eachother for one year, now". No big deal, but the way you've got it is a bit awkward.

[DRW]

Alright. Thanks.
Are there any other mistakes that need to be corrected? (But only mistakes that exist because English is not my native language. I don't mean shortcomings that are just the result of general bad writing (like Link speaking like a robot), but don't have anything to do with linguistical/grammatical issues and could happen to native speakers as well.)

[Cosmonautical]

I can't recall any other errors, immediately. I'll have a look over the comics again, soon.

[DRW]

»Deleted.«

[DRW]

I finally did a fouth season. If you like, tell me your opinion:

Episode 4-1: "Pac-Man"

Episode 4-2: "Super Mario Bros."

Episode 4-3: "The Legend of Zelda"

Episode 4-4: "Metroid"

Episode 4-5: "Castlevania"

Episode 4-6: "Bomberman"

Episode 4-7: Crossover

And if you find any linguistical errors, please tell me. Of course, you can also tell me if you find any other errors.

[Luigiman7]

4-1- I don't really get it. Never played Pac and Pal, so it night be an in joke. Is it?

4-2- Haha, clever.

4-3- Yeah, why did they send Link all by himself? He doesn't get any help from the knights. And there are knights. But they usually attack Link for various reasons. :/

4-4- Not really funny. And I like what you did with the Kirby running joke.

4-5- Typical joke: Person comes, person points out everything wrong with the other, person leaves. Funny nontheless.

4-6- Yo mama.

[DRW]

Originally Posted by Godot

4-1- I don't really get it. Never played Pac and Pal, so it night be an in joke. Is it?

No, this comic simply refers to the normal "Pac-Man" game, especially to the first cut scene. What do the others say? Is this comic really hard to understand?

Originally Posted by Godot

4-5- Typical joke: Person comes, person points out everything wrong with the other, person leaves. Funny nontheless.

The person doesn't only point out anything, you actually get to see why there are never any other vampires around Dracula. Because they all share the fate of the vampire in the second part of the comic.

How did you find episode 7? Oh, and since you're new to this thread, I'd also like to hear your opinion on the older comics which are linked in the first post.

P.S.: Who recognizes the three girls in the poster in comic 4-7?

[Metal Man]

4-1: Huh?
4-2: Takes too long to deliver the punchline. You could probably cut out most of it and just go with the King bit.
4-3: This one gets a pass. You could have probably cut out two panels though--there's a thing about 'show, not tell' you violate by sort of describing every last detail. It's sort of like these were text jokes awkwardly transposed and displayed alongside an image--just because it's funny in text, doesn't mean that you need all of it when you can have images help show much more than any text can.
4-4: This one derailed on its way to the joke. First, this kind of joke goes best without explaining what happens after the 'bad event done by newbie' happens. Second, the person should probably brag 'I don't need no Morph ball!', then run to the left, then perhaps have Samus mutter something about 'Too bad that way can't be exited without one...' rather than sort of continuing on fruitlessly.
4-5: Vaguely 'heh' worthy. Needs some more exageration, like Dracula proclaiming his army of undead immediately after the "Why aren't there other vampies?' Also, the plot later on in the comic is sort of spoiled by the early part, and the early part probably could be condensed. Many of these jokes seem to be stretched, or forced, you see.
4-6: Seems like 50 years passed while that bomb fell down. It may be my ADD talking, but I don't see why we needed all those frames of animation for it rolling slooowly down a hill. Indeed, you missed a good chance for the other bomberman to go "Well, I'd be afraid, but I'll probably be dead of old age before it hits me" rather than a tired "yo momma" joke (which, uttered from your comic, seems about as out of place as if I or some rich gentleman said it, which sort of loses all its effect.)
4-7: This is almost entirely about telling what you thought when you did the others, which sort of further removes the entertainment value from those, while simultaneously throwing in the author cameo and then just as quickly the imaginary sex life cameo. This, followed by references to characters who seem to behave like mindless automatons, leaves little to really critique, except perhaps that you should start small before making so many panels at once.

Simply put, you need some sort of inspiration. Anything. Heck, people complain when I'm slow, but part of the reason I am is to avoid making the mistake of easily telegraphed jokes being turned into a history lesson-style borefest, or an overly wordy complication of a slapstick joke, or a comic which feels sort of empty yet full of empty words.

Sure, you can manipulate 8-bit much better than say, the MS Paint adventures me and Jay would use, but for that, your comic seemingly has no soul.

Unfortunately, the solution to such a thing is unique with each person, so, respond to my comment or not, you're sort of beyond any further comment on my part, since you've already explained your comics to me through your comics.

It is sort of unfortunate, since I by comparison throw one liners off the ship and into the ocean and forget about them because I have much more difficulty than you do at making the graphics. Alas. Perhaps what we can learn here is that often graphical talent and humor don't happen in the same person simultaneously.

[DRW]

Originally Posted by Metal Man

4-1: Huh?

Is this comic really hard to understand? What do the others say?

Originally Posted by Metal Man

4-2: Takes too long to deliver the punchline. You could probably cut out most of it and just go with the King bit.

Well, the reason for the comic being so long is because the middle part contains a punchline itself. It's about the observation that Mario goes through the castle while he could just free the Mushroom retainer by entering through the back side.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

4-3: This one gets a pass. You could have probably cut out two panels though--there's a thing about 'show, not tell' you violate by sort of describing every last detail. It's sort of like these were text jokes awkwardly transposed and displayed alongside an image--just because it's funny in text, doesn't mean that you need all of it when you can have images help show much more than any text can.

I don't want to criticise your opinion, so this is just an explanation: It is supposed to be a huge speech. The leaders of both armies make big words. That's the deal. And in the end we find out that Hyrule's army just has one soldier and that Ganon's army runs away from that one person. So, the long text is done on purpose. Escpecially since the speech parts aren't even supposed to be funny yet. In the beginning, it shall sound serious. The joke only starts when we see that Link is the only fighter.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

4-6: Seems like 50 years passed while that bomb fell down. It may be my ADD talking, but I don't see why we needed all those frames of animation for it rolling slooowly down a hill. Indeed, you missed a good chance for the other bomberman to go "Well, I'd be afraid, but I'll probably be dead of old age before it hits me"

If it seems slow, that wasn't intended. In animation, it would be a quite quick scene. That's why your joke wouldn't work.
P.S.: It's a top down view, the bomb doesn't roll down a hill.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

rather than a tired "yo momma" joke (which, uttered from your comic, seems about as out of place as if I or some rich gentleman said it, which sort of loses all its effect.)

Well, that's the reason why this is called the sequel season. The "yo momma" thing is a reference to Black Bomberman trying to pretend to be a black guy in episode 1-6. That's the only reason why Bomberman here mockingly uses such a slang term.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

while simultaneously throwing in the author cameo

Although this is really myself, I have to point out that it's not the typical author appearance. Because although it is a cameo appearance, inside the plot, I'm just a normal character living in that world. It's not like "Hello, I'm the author of this comic and I created all this." Literally, it is the appearance of the author, but it's not an author appearance in the sense as the word is used in the context of sprite comics where an author cameo basically means that the author appears in the role of the author, breaking the fourth wall. One might like or dislike my own appearance in the comic, but I just want to point out: It's not a "Bob and George" style author appearance. It's more like as if Joss Whedon would appear in "Buffy" and offer her to make a TV show about her: In this case he would play himself and he would create a TV show about Buffy, but his in-plot appearance would not be the creator of the show that we see on out TVs. Sorry to hold a lecture about it, but I hate those typical author appearances, simply because I hate fourth wall breaks, and so I wanted to point out that this is not the same since it doesn't contain any fourth wall breaks or the character being the author of his own world.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

and then just as quickly the imaginary sex life cameo.

Samus and me are just friends. (I stopped portraying her as a sex object after episode 2-4.)

Originally Posted by Metal Man

This, followed by references to characters who seem to behave like mindless automatons, leaves little to really critique, except perhaps that you should start small before making so many panels at once.

Start small? But I already started years ago? This was my 29th comic.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

Unfortunately, the solution to such a thing is unique with each person, so, respond to my comment or not

No, it's o.k. I always appreciate critique, escpecially detailed one. Did you read my other comics from the previous seasons? If yes, would you say they are better. I'd really be glad if you could review them too.

Originally Posted by Metal Man

I have much more difficulty than you do at making the graphics. Alas. Perhaps what we can learn here is that often graphical talent and humor don't happen in the same person simultaneously.

Hm, but what's so difficult about doing the graphics? I mean, all I do is basically pasting the scenes together. Can you please show me some of your comics?