Jony and Veronica Comic

Meowmaster · 05-02-2008, 08:26 AM

woo hoo!I've finnaly posted a comic about 2 characters in my manga.Jony and Veronica.Jony is the cat with a strait face.He's emotionless.Veronica is the other.She is 5 years old and Jony hates her.Note that when he said your stupidity makes me emo I only put that to make it more funny enjoy!

Dizzy · 05-02-2008, 08:28 AM

Um... All right then. A little eccentric, but good. Can't wait for the next one.

Redshirt · 05-02-2008, 03:33 PM

How can Jony be emotionless if he hates Veronica?

Anyway it is funny.

Laika Come Home · 05-03-2008, 12:08 PM

I accidentally read it as "Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder."

LinkManDX · 05-03-2008, 01:55 PM

Protip: Put whatever you want the reader to read first on top of the panel.

Dylan · 05-03-2008, 10:30 PM

It's not good. No sir.

- It looks like you tried cutting away parts that weren't necessary but didn't bother to take away whatever small pieces were left. Lazy much?

- Like LinkManDX said, put whatever is said first goes on top.

- Why is the text overlapping panels in those last panels? If your text won't fit, either shorten the dialogue or make the image smaller.

- The art leaves a lot to be desired. It looks really rushed and shoddy, even for an MS Paint drawing. Just look at your boy Jhonny. He reeks of hurriedness. And why does Veronica's right shoulder overlap her head? And the same poses? Really? Were you rushing out the door when you made this?

Your comic needs work. Get crackin'.

Meowmaster · 05-04-2008, 05:41 PM

D=...I had to use a 13 year old computer to make this....with a mouse...not a stylus....a mouse...

4 hours to make this...

Redshirt · 05-04-2008, 09:11 PM

Don't worry, just take longer next time to make it perfect. there is no rush to post.

Frumie · 05-04-2008, 11:49 PM

Looks like a generic "LOL SO RANDUM" comic.

Luigiman7 · 05-05-2008, 09:45 AM

Its not Jhonny or Jony, its JOHNNY! I tell her that all the time.

Robotazy · 05-05-2008, 09:47 AM

This comic has potential. You just need to improve a little more on the characters, drawing skills, and text organization.

***the Octopus*** · 05-05-2008, 11:28 AM

It's nice to see someone in this forum actually drawing their comics instead of just using modded sprites. Keep practicing, it'll get better. I remember how hard it used to be to draw with a mouse when I started out with Mario Paint, so I believe it took 4 hours. Make some more, and try your best - watching yourself improve is pretty cool. Sometimes you just need to push.

As a rule, don't put the taller character's speech above the other character's just because he's tall. The reader will always read the top one first. So, the top speech bubble should be the one that comes sooner in the conversation.

Also: Like Dylan said, don't leave little fragments. This is especially visible in frame 2. You also didn't fix up the broken border line in this frame. I know that if I worked on something for 4 hours, I wouldn't show it to anyone without taking care of any obvious mistakes like that one. Try to do the little touch-ups that it needs, next time.

With the conversation: Doing pretty good, here. The insults are slightly amusing, but spend more time trying to think of the most effective way to say what you want. "Good. Go away." could be changed to many things. Preferably, it would be something that puts a stronger spin on the other character's words. There's a thousand ways to play that one, likely many better than any of the suggestions I'd make right now.

Might want to change that name to "Johnny" or something else. If you don't, people will assume you've misspelled it.

I hope you don't mind the criticism, I only offer it to help you improve. You're welcome to post your comics or drawings in the Art and Lit forum I mod, anytime. Don't take Dylan's words too badly. He just wants to help get you on your feet, and I'm sure he'd be happy to have more activity in here as well.

Dizzy · 05-05-2008, 04:36 PM

Veronica reminds me of HotD, with the "Marshmallow Power!" thing.

05-02-2008, 08:26 AM	#1
Meowmaster Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The most dangoureus place on earth.....BRONX,NEW YORK!!!!X_X Gender: Posts: 202 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Jony and Veronica Comic woo hoo!I've finnaly posted a comic about 2 characters in my manga.Jony and Veronica.Jony is the cat with a strait face.He's emotionless.Veronica is the other.She is 5 years old and Jony hates her.Note that when he said your stupidity makes me emo I only put that to make it more funny enjoy!

05-04-2008, 05:41 PM	#7
Meowmaster Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The most dangoureus place on earth.....BRONX,NEW YORK!!!!X_X Gender: Posts: 202 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	D=...I had to use a 13 year old computer to make this....with a mouse...not a stylus....a mouse... 4 hours to make this... Last edited by Meowmaster; 05-04-2008 at 05:41 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

05-05-2008, 09:47 AM	#11
Robotazy PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,284 Thanks: 521 Thanked 1,238 Times in 885 Posts Blog Entries: 43	Hya! Marshmellow Power! This comic has potential. You just need to improve a little more on the characters, drawing skills, and text organization.

05-05-2008, 11:28 AM	#12
*the Octopus* THE PRESIDENT OF FUN Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 27,481 Thanks: 1,974 Thanked 5,121 Times in 2,320 Posts	It's nice to see someone in this forum actually drawing their comics instead of just using modded sprites. Keep practicing, it'll get better. I remember how hard it used to be to draw with a mouse when I started out with Mario Paint, so I believe it took 4 hours. Make some more, and try your best - watching yourself improve is pretty cool. Sometimes you just need to push. As a rule, don't put the taller character's speech above the other character's just because he's tall. The reader will always read the top one first. So, the top speech bubble should be the one that comes sooner in the conversation. Also: Like Dylan said, don't leave little fragments. This is especially visible in frame 2. You also didn't fix up the broken border line in this frame. I know that if I worked on something for 4 hours, I wouldn't show it to anyone without taking care of any obvious mistakes like that one. Try to do the little touch-ups that it needs, next time. With the conversation: Doing pretty good, here. The insults are slightly amusing, but spend more time trying to think of the most effective way to say what you want. "Good. Go away." could be changed to many things. Preferably, it would be something that puts a stronger spin on the other character's words. There's a thousand ways to play that one, likely many better than any of the suggestions I'd make right now. Might want to change that name to "Johnny" or something else. If you don't, people will assume you've misspelled it. I hope you don't mind the criticism, I only offer it to help you improve. You're welcome to post your comics or drawings in the Art and Lit forum I mod, anytime. Don't take Dylan's words too badly. He just wants to help get you on your feet, and I'm sure he'd be happy to have more activity in here as well. Last edited by the Octopus; 05-05-2008 at 11:46 AM.

05-02-2008, 08:28 AM	#2
Dizzy A Real Sonic Hero Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 18,221 Thanks: 1,670 Thanked 1,077 Times in 750 Posts Blog Entries: 111	Um... All right then. A little eccentric, but good. Can't wait for the next one.

05-02-2008, 03:33 PM	#3
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,607 Thanks: 683 Thanked 998 Times in 690 Posts Blog Entries: 50	How can Jony be emotionless if he hates Veronica? Anyway it is funny.

05-03-2008, 12:08 PM	#4
Laika Come Home Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Posts: 615 Thanks: 214 Thanked 77 Times in 45 Posts Blog Entries: 1	I accidentally read it as "Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder."

05-03-2008, 01:55 PM	#5
LinkManDX Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Because political usernames ftw Gender: Posts: 3,582 Thanks: 297 Thanked 266 Times in 156 Posts	Protip: Put whatever you want the reader to read first on top of the panel.

05-03-2008, 10:30 PM	#6
Dylan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 7,790 Thanks: 1,632 Thanked 1,816 Times in 773 Posts	It's not good. No sir. - It looks like you tried cutting away parts that weren't necessary but didn't bother to take away whatever small pieces were left. Lazy much? - Like LinkManDX said, put whatever is said first goes on top. - Why is the text overlapping panels in those last panels? If your text won't fit, either shorten the dialogue or make the image smaller. - The art leaves a lot to be desired. It looks really rushed and shoddy, even for an MS Paint drawing. Just look at your boy Jhonny. He reeks of hurriedness. And why does Veronica's right shoulder overlap her head? And the same poses? Really? Were you rushing out the door when you made this? Your comic needs work. Get crackin'.

05-04-2008, 09:11 PM	#8
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,607 Thanks: 683 Thanked 998 Times in 690 Posts Blog Entries: 50	Don't worry, just take longer next time to make it perfect. there is no rush to post.

05-04-2008, 11:49 PM	#9
Frumie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Planet X Gender: Posts: 3,926 Thanks: 310 Thanked 221 Times in 147 Posts	Looks like a generic "LOL SO RANDUM" comic.

05-05-2008, 09:45 AM	#10
Luigiman7 ~)´◡｀(~ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: representin da bronx yo Gender: Posts: 17,308 Thanks: 1,100 Thanked 992 Times in 698 Posts Blog Entries: 8	Its not Jhonny or Jony, its JOHNNY! I tell her that all the time.

05-05-2008, 04:36 PM	#13
Dizzy A Real Sonic Hero Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 18,221 Thanks: 1,670 Thanked 1,077 Times in 750 Posts Blog Entries: 111	Veronica reminds me of HotD, with the "Marshmallow Power!" thing.