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Old 09-07-2009, 07:34 AM   #361
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Tough choice, but I'll pick Samus.

BTW, I've never really understood all the Zero Suit Samus hype.
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:30 PM   #362
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Okay, here's how our first eventful "Off the Hook" match played out:

The stage, randomly selected, is Corneria, atop the Great Fox.

Samus starts out strong, driving Captain Falcon's damage up with kick attacks and shots from her arm cannon, while avoiding most of what Falcon dishes out. A Smash Ball appears (pretty early, amirite?), and, after a vicious duel for the privilege, Falcon manages to get it. He then picks up two Dragoon pieces and activates his Final Smash when Samus gets in close enough. In comes the Blue Falcon, and out goes Samus. (Samus -1)

Samus re-enters and uses her flamethrower to burn both Dragoon pieces out of Falcon's hands. The third Dragoon piece appears then, and Samus grabs it. Falcon reclaims the two pieces he lost while Samus charges her Power Beam. She dodges a couple of kick attacks from Falcon, then lets him have it with the Power Beam, KO'ing him. (Falcon -1)

Samus picks up one of the two Dragoon pieces dropped by Falcon, and Falcon reclaims the other. Falcon tries to hit Samus with a horizontal Falcon Kick, but Samus dodges, and Falcon nearly falls off the left side of the stage as a result. He grabs the edge, however, and flips back up to sure footing, while Samus charges her Power Beam. Samus runs to attack Falcon now, but Falcon flips her off the side of the stage (kind of like what Splinter does to Shredder on the rooftop during the final fight in the TMNT movie). Samus grabs the edge with her Grapple Beam, however, and jumps back up to safety, then goes for a Barrel. Falcon hits her while she's hefting the Barrel, knocking free her two Dragoon pieces. A Hammer has emerged from the Barrel, however, and Samus picks it up and clobbers Falcon, KO'ing him with the first hit. (Falcon -2)

Samus finally manages to unite all three pieces of the Dragoon, and she flies in amidst the roving Arwings to annihilate Falcon. Unfortunately for her, her trajectory is way off, and she misses Falcon by a country mile.

Returning from the skies, Samus replenishes her strength with a Heart Container, putting her almost one full life ahead of Falcon. If the F-Zero pilot hopes to pull out a victory here, he'd better hurry up and (wait for it) show us his moves.

Falcon and Samus spend a few moments sparring with fisticuffs, then Samus retreats to the left edge of the stage (the nose of the Great Fox) to charge her Power Beam. Falcon flies into her with a horizontal Falcon Kick, and they both fall off the stage. Samus saves herself with her Grapple Beam, but Falcon isn't so lucky. Funnily enough, the good captain tumbles in front of the Great Fox's main cannon just as it happens to fire, and...well, let's just say that there isn't much left of the man after that.

They'll need an eraser to peel him off the landscape. Sheesh.

WINNER: SAMUS
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:30 PM   #363
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Hooray.
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:39 PM   #364
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Exclamation SSB Mario Circuit #17: Peach VS Bowser

The King of the Koopas has been harassing, terrorizing, and kidnapping Princess Toadstool since 1985. Now we're giving the video game world's most famous damsel-in-distress a shot at payback. Will she make Bowser taste the full fury of a woman's wrath, or will the Koopa King get the better of her once more? There's no Mario or Luigi here now. All there is........is THE RING!!!!!!

Princess Toadstool VS Bowser
VS
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:43 PM   #365
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Peach.
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:44 PM   #366
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Peach
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:53 PM   #367
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Peach!
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:55 PM   #368
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Wow. The contestants in the circuit have taken quite a bit of abuse, but... god damn, that just wasn't fair.

R.I.P. Captain Falcon: 1990 - 2009
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:57 PM   #369
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Well, let's see...

Bowser has kidnapped Peach at least umpteen times, so he obviously knows something Peach doesn't.

My vote is on Bowser.
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:59 PM   #370
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Damnit! Stupid stage hazards. Real men use Battlefield.
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Old 09-07-2009, 10:01 PM   #371
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Bowser. Peach was nerfed, and Bowser was quite literally buffed.
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Old 09-07-2009, 10:03 PM   #372
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Peach.

- You stupid dog!
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Old 09-07-2009, 10:35 PM   #373
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Peach.
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Old 09-07-2009, 10:56 PM   #374
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^Samus isn't a man.
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:05 PM   #375
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^ Men is referred to as Mankind. But she still is a Smash Bro, so ha.
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Old 09-08-2009, 08:26 AM   #376
 
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He was doomed anyway; she had the edge. The laser cannon just made it an awesomer death.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:00 AM   #377
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Okay, here's what all went down:

The stage, randomly selected, is the Pirate Ship from The Wind Waker.

We open with a lot of back-and-forth; Bowser claws, Peach uses her hip-bump; Bowser breathes fire, Peach slaps him with a Smash Attack. Bowser takes much more damage in the scuffle than Peach does, however, and within moments, his damage has been driven up to 72%, while Peach's remains low at 19%. Peach hits Bowser with her Frying Pan, then the tower in the background starts firing bombs at the ship! Peach knocks Bowser off the ship with a Smash Attack. He returns with his spinning shell move, hitting Peach in the process, but then a barrel comes in from somewhere and knocks him back off the ship. Peach throws a Home Run Bat at him, but he dodges it and returns to the ship. He's now at 151% damage, however, and Peach finally manages to KO him with an Up+A Smash Attack. (Bowser -1)

Bowser comes back swinging, but Peach dodges his furious claw swipes and throws a Freezie at him, encasing him in a block of ice. (FUN FACT: When Freezie first appeared in the classic Mario Bros, he was called Slipice.) Peach hip-bumps the frozen Bowser. When Bowser frees himself, he picks up a Ray Gun and throws it at Peach, knocking her off the right side of the stage. Bowser follows her, but Peach returns to the main stage much more easily, while Bowser sputters and splashes in the water. When he does finally return to the main stage, Peach releases Gardevoir from a Pokeball. Bowser, likely relieved that it isn't Latios or Entei, grabs Peach and executes one of his high-flying bodyslams, smashing the princess' face into the hardwood of the ship's deck. Bowser then chases her around the ship. Peach ultimately lands right in front of the catapult, which chooses that precise moment to activate, and it hurls Peach a dangerous distance, almost KO'ing her. Bowser, meanwhile, has picked up a Thunderbolt and grown gigantic as a result. As soon as Peach floats back to the ship, he KO's her with a mighty swipe of his claws. (Peach -1)

Peach re-enters, grabs a Super Mushroom, then blasts Bowser several times with a Cracker Launcher. For no damn reason at all, Bowser hops over to the King of Red Lions floating to the right of the pirate ship, then returns to the main stage, where he gets slapped by Peach. His damage is at 158% as a Smash Ball appears. Bowser manages to get it and transforms into Giga Bowser. This actually works out pretty well for Peach, however; the ship is passing another bomb-firing tower now, and Bowser's huge bulk is attracting those incoming bombs like a magnet. All Peach has to do is stand off to the left and relax, because all the bombs are flying at Bowser, and Bowser doesn't seem interested in doing anything besides standing in the middle of the stage and doing his spinning shell attack over and over again. When the Koopa King finally reverts to normal, his damage is at a whopping 333%. It would take just one flick of Peach's finger to KO him now, and she knows it. Unfortunately, her eagerness to kibosh her opponent is her downfall; as she rushes in to deliver the killing blow, that damned tower fires a bomb at the exact spot upon which both combatants are standing. As a result, both Peach and Bowser are blown spectacularly to smithereens! (Peach -2, Bowser -2)

The two combatants are now completely equal, each with one life remaining and 0% damage. It's anyone's game, ladies and gentlemen. Bowser starts out by bodyslamming Peach again, then Peach frees Metagross from a Pokeball. Bowser mostly stays out of the way, taking just one hit from the Pokemon, and hits Peach with his spinning shell attack. A Party Ball deposits a quartet of Bob-Ombs on the lower platform of the ship's mast, and you know that's going to suck for somebody. And as it turns out, it's Bowser. The big stupid idiot swoops down on all four of those little guys and gets blown right the hell out of there.

WINNER: PRINCESS TOADSTOOL
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:02 AM   #378
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ALWAYS BET ON PEACH
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:04 AM   #379
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^Undefeated so far.
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:08 AM   #380
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Exclamation SSB Mario Circuit #18: Luigi VS Toon Link

We've already pitted Mario against Link, so let's see how Mario's younger brother fares against Link's younger......ancestor? Descendant? Who the hell knows anymore? Let's just hit the ring!

Luigi VS Toon Link
VS
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