The horror.

**Valigarmander** · 10-01-2009, 11:43 PM

(Here's a little thing I posted on 4chan a while back, but I figured I'd share it with you guys as well. Ahem...)

In the near future, Square-Enix decides to collaborate with Nintendo once again to produce a sequel to Super Mario RPG.

But, Nomura gives it the Kingdom Hearts 2 treatment and throws in a bunch of "ORIGINAL CHARACTERS, DO NOT STEAL." Mario is no longer the main character. Instead, you play as Sakaku, a teenage boy lost in the Mushroom Kingdom trying to find his way home and learn about friendship. Your other party members include Nina, a spunky girl who's also secretly a princess, and Baldor, a lone wolf warrior with a dark and mysterious past. Mario and Luigi are also playable, but they have no speaking roles, generic attacks, and have no real affect on the plot. The villains of the game are a group of anime-esque bishounen bad guys. Bowser appears as a goofy sub-boss character who you fight twice in the game. Mallow and Geno reappear as NPCs. The game's soundtrack will consist mainly of J-pop.

How would you feel?

***CaptHayfever*** · 10-01-2009, 11:54 PM

Oh, the Horror! The HORROR!! A behemoth of hatred incarnate! What manner of creature is that? A ton of flesh and sinew wielding muscles thick as ropes strung onto claws that could crush stone and sever metal as though it were threshed wheat. Crushing, cutting..The walls shook with each step it took! Oh, the HORROR!! An abomination...Its physiology remarkable abstract...no real organs or anything...It shouldn't work, but it did!! And the mouths...those gnashing scythes of teeth - I tell you, it existed ONLY to EAT!! To consume! To gnaw! To bite! To DEVOUR!!

And remember, "This can't be happening..."

Random User · 10-01-2009, 11:55 PM

The whole thing sounds like crap to me. And I would file lawsuits against Nintendo and Square.

Chaos Deviot · 10-02-2009, 12:37 AM

As would I. Kingdom Hearts is a great game and all, but I don't prefer the series. I give it credit for being a pretty good series, but that's about it. I hate FF7 and everything related(except two character), but I don't think the original game is horrible. I think it's a good game, despite the fact you won't catch me playing it over supposedly crappier games (like Quest 64 or even Final Fantasy 8 if you will).

Anyway... If Mario(and Luigi, if they go that route, being a sequel to a game where Luigi isn't playable does usually mean he may stay unplayble) isn't/aren't the main character(s), then it'd just be stupid. I've already lost faith in Square-Enix(their only games I like right now being the CC series), and I don't need them going further in the hole. I also hate the play style of Kingdom Hearts. I got no problem with Action RPGs, but ones with nearly 10 menus at once?(am I exaggerating? Help me out here) That doesn't sit with me.

Atleast their items are organized...if those damn npcs don't burn them all away, anyway.

Metal Mario · 10-02-2009, 01:01 AM

The game you describe would be an abomination before the Lord. However, with some favorable adjustments, it might be kind of cool to see a Kingdom Hearts-type game with Mario characters and worlds replacing the Disney material.

I mean, Super Mario RPG wasn't so similar to the Final Fantasy series that it didn't feel like a Mario game. They meshed the elements really well. If they could do the same with Kingdom Mushrooms (that's what I'd call it anyway), there'd be potential for a really great project there.

Luigiman7 · 10-02-2009, 03:47 PM

I can hear the internet screaming already.

1-up Salesman · 10-04-2009, 12:39 PM

I just died a little inside. Now, I do hate Nomura.

Rainbow Dash · 10-04-2009, 01:17 PM

this wouldn't be a bad game if it were done right, without all the horrible things you speak of

***the Octopus*** · 10-04-2009, 02:27 PM

A. I already think Kingdom Hearts was a horrible idea
B. Nintendo doesn't take Mario seriously at all anymore, but it's not that bad yet. I could see it going downhill to that point, but they seem to have a method to their madness, if nothing else.

Metal Mario · 10-04-2009, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEADLY KOOPA WARRIORS

Nintendo doesn't take Mario seriously at all anymore

Not quite sure what you mean by that. Is it because they stick him in a lot of sports games and stuff, or is it because his adventures all revolve around rescuing the princess (which isn't exactly different from the old school anyway)? His games are consistently fun. Super Mario Galaxy was awesome, and its sequel should be too. Bowser's Inside Story was a thumbs-up, and New SMB Wii looks great too.

Sure, you might have a different opinion of these games, but of the two of us, I'm the guy who will consistently continue to buy almost every Mario game produced in my lifetime, whereas you probably don't even plan to buy one of the three Mario games I mentioned above. Maybe I'm just easier to impress than you are, but I have yet to be disappointed with Mario on any significant level.

1-up Salesman · 10-12-2009, 06:58 PM

Why do they call it the Kingdom Hearts TWO treatment?

Luigiman7 · 10-12-2009, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chunky Kong12345

this wouldn't be a bad game if it were done right, without all the horrible things you speak of

so basically remove everything mentioned but the mario stuff

Metal Mario · 10-12-2009, 08:50 PM

^Too right.

CuccoLady · 10-13-2009, 02:31 AM

Wasn't this that April Fools joke Nintendo made awhile back?

I hope so.

10-01-2009, 11:43 PM	#1
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,222 Thanks: 1,611 Thanked 5,553 Times in 2,499 Posts Blog Entries: 18	The horror. (Here's a little thing I posted on 4chan a while back, but I figured I'd share it with you guys as well. Ahem...) In the near future, Square-Enix decides to collaborate with Nintendo once again to produce a sequel to Super Mario RPG. But, Nomura gives it the Kingdom Hearts 2 treatment and throws in a bunch of "ORIGINAL CHARACTERS, DO NOT STEAL." Mario is no longer the main character. Instead, you play as Sakaku, a teenage boy lost in the Mushroom Kingdom trying to find his way home and learn about friendship. Your other party members include Nina, a spunky girl who's also secretly a princess, and Baldor, a lone wolf warrior with a dark and mysterious past. Mario and Luigi are also playable, but they have no speaking roles, generic attacks, and have no real affect on the plot. The villains of the game are a group of anime-esque bishounen bad guys. Bowser appears as a goofy sub-boss character who you fight twice in the game. Mallow and Geno reappear as NPCs. The game's soundtrack will consist mainly of J-pop. How would you feel? __________________

10-02-2009, 03:47 PM	#6
Luigiman7 ~)´◡｀(~ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: representin da bronx yo Gender: Posts: 17,304 Thanks: 1,099 Thanked 992 Times in 698 Posts Blog Entries: 8	I can hear the internet screaming already. __________________ ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ＷＯＮ’Ｔ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＥＣＯＭＥ　Ａ　ＭＡＧＩＣＡＬ　ＧＩＲＬ？

10-01-2009, 11:54 PM	#2
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,013 Thanks: 1,787 Thanked 2,371 Times in 1,423 Posts	Oh, the Horror! The HORROR!! A behemoth of hatred incarnate! What manner of creature is that? A ton of flesh and sinew wielding muscles thick as ropes strung onto claws that could crush stone and sever metal as though it were threshed wheat. Crushing, cutting..The walls shook with each step it took! Oh, the HORROR!! An abomination...Its physiology remarkable abstract...no real organs or anything...It shouldn't work, but it did!! And the mouths...those gnashing scythes of teeth - I tell you, it existed ONLY to EAT!! To consume! To gnaw! To bite! To DEVOUR!! And remember, "This can't be happening..."

10-01-2009, 11:55 PM	#3
Random User Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Floating aimlessly somewhere. Gender: Posts: 2,941 Thanks: 284 Thanked 118 Times in 95 Posts Blog Entries: 4	The whole thing sounds like crap to me. And I would file lawsuits against Nintendo and Square.

10-02-2009, 12:37 AM	#4
Chaos Deviot Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mt. Moon Gender: Posts: 1,565 Thanks: 131 Thanked 34 Times in 31 Posts Blog Entries: 1	As would I. Kingdom Hearts is a great game and all, but I don't prefer the series. I give it credit for being a pretty good series, but that's about it. I hate FF7 and everything related(except two character), but I don't think the original game is horrible. I think it's a good game, despite the fact you won't catch me playing it over supposedly crappier games (like Quest 64 or even Final Fantasy 8 if you will). Anyway... If Mario(and Luigi, if they go that route, being a sequel to a game where Luigi isn't playable does usually mean he may stay unplayble) isn't/aren't the main character(s), then it'd just be stupid. I've already lost faith in Square-Enix(their only games I like right now being the CC series), and I don't need them going further in the hole. I also hate the play style of Kingdom Hearts. I got no problem with Action RPGs, but ones with nearly 10 menus at once?(am I exaggerating? Help me out here) That doesn't sit with me. Atleast their items are organized...if those damn npcs don't burn them all away, anyway.

10-02-2009, 01:01 AM	#5
Metal Mario Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Gender: Posts: 16,435 Thanks: 72 Thanked 190 Times in 127 Posts	The game you describe would be an abomination before the Lord. However, with some favorable adjustments, it might be kind of cool to see a Kingdom Hearts-type game with Mario characters and worlds replacing the Disney material. I mean, Super Mario RPG wasn't so similar to the Final Fantasy series that it didn't feel like a Mario game. They meshed the elements really well. If they could do the same with Kingdom Mushrooms (that's what I'd call it anyway), there'd be potential for a really great project there.

10-04-2009, 12:39 PM	#7
1-up Salesman Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Your bedroom. I love it here! Gender: Posts: 3,861 Thanks: 2,071 Thanked 228 Times in 180 Posts Blog Entries: 9	I just died a little inside. Now, I do hate Nomura.

10-04-2009, 01:17 PM	#8
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Gender: Posts: 23,788 Thanks: 168 Thanked 1,120 Times in 677 Posts	this wouldn't be a bad game if it were done right, without all the horrible things you speak of

10-04-2009, 02:27 PM	#9
*the Octopus* THE PRESIDENT OF FUN Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 27,481 Thanks: 1,974 Thanked 5,121 Times in 2,320 Posts	A. I already think Kingdom Hearts was a horrible idea B. Nintendo doesn't take Mario seriously at all anymore, but it's not that bad yet. I could see it going downhill to that point, but they seem to have a method to their madness, if nothing else.

10-12-2009, 06:58 PM	#11
1-up Salesman Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Your bedroom. I love it here! Gender: Posts: 3,861 Thanks: 2,071 Thanked 228 Times in 180 Posts Blog Entries: 9	Why do they call it the Kingdom Hearts TWO treatment?

10-12-2009, 08:50 PM	#13
Metal Mario Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Gender: Posts: 16,435 Thanks: 72 Thanked 190 Times in 127 Posts	^Too right.

10-13-2009, 02:31 AM	#14
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 8,457 Thanks: 2,666 Thanked 1,076 Times in 725 Posts	Wasn't this that April Fools joke Nintendo made awhile back? I hope so.