Better Know Your Koopa Kids

[Valigarmander]

From 1UP, in celebration of the upcoming NSMBWii, and the glorious return of the Koopalings. Check it out, it's a good read.

1UP's Retro Gaming Blog : Better Know Your Koopa Kids (Part One)

Old-school Mario fans were overjoyed when they heard that Nintendo was finally bringing back The Koopa Kids in New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Bowser's brood was last featured prominently in 1991's Super Mario World, and since then, they've been written out of the Mario universe and recently replaced by the universally-loathed Bowser Jr. Sure, the Koopa Kids have had a few cameos here and there, but the fact that it's taken them so long to return to a proper Mario game is one of the biggest tragedies since the creation of Waluigi.

Because it's been so long since The Koopa Kids have been a relevant topic in gaming discussion, it's easy to forget they're each named after somewhat-dated pop culture references which give some indication of their personalities. While they were originally unnamed the 1988 Japanese release of Super Mario Bros. 3, Nintendo's American localization team decided to give a little more character to this highly-expanded group of bosses by borrowing the names of several celebrities. And, in the interest of destroying ignorance around the world, I've assembled a little guide that may assist you in understanding The Koopa Kids’ connection to the world of popular entertainment – well, 1990's world of popular entertainment.



Strangely enough, there's never been an official answer as to which celebrity Larry Koopa is named after, though most Internet scholars suggest broadcaster Larry King for some unknown reason. If you're unfamiliar with Larry King, he's the bespectacled, besuspendered fossil who's hosted Larry King Live on CNN for the past 300 years. I can't really see the inspiration here, but I'd wager most children in 1990 would jump on Larry King's head, if given the chance.

Possible connections: Both are lizards. That's pretty much it.



He may not be as popular as Geraldo (if such a thing is possible), but Morton Downey Jr. was the Jerry Springer of his day. While Downey's career peaked in the 80s, he was a pioneer of getting a bunch of loud, ignorant people with highly-conflicting world views to throw chairs at each other inside of a TV studio. Intelligent, thought-provoking programs like The Steve Wilkos Show owe everything to Downey's abraisive behavior.

Possible connections: Morton Koopa's sheer rage (based on his open-mouthed sneer) might match Downey's, but it's likely he was thiiiis close to being named after Howard Stern. It's best if you don't think about it.



It may seem strange to specifically reference a constantly-topless punk rock anarchist in a children's game, but Nintendo has always been about taking risks. Though when compared to the other musical references in Super Mario Bros. 3, Wendy O. Williams is sort of obscure; I'm guessing Nintendo's localization team had a record store snob on staff whose hobby wormed its way into what would be the one of company's best-selling games. It's possible that GG Allin Koopa was a possibility until more rational minds prevailed.

Possible connections: Well, they're both frightening females, but I think Nintendo missed its mark by not naming the only Koopa gal after the most terrifying woman of 1990: First Lady Barbara Bush. That's some high-octane nightmare fuel.



As a punk rock god, Iggy Pop has always been a little terrifying -- possibly due to the fact that his human skeleton status evokes memories of creepy Betty Boop cartoons whenever he starts dancing around. Like all punk superstars, Iggy's always been a controversial figure, though much less so now that he's beginning to enter his twilight years. If Sid Vicious had lived long enough to make it to our current music game era, it's unlikely that he'd agree to be a playable LEGO man.

Possible connections: Iggy is clearly the craziest Koopa Kid (what with the wacky eyes), making the Iggy to Iggy connection very fitting. And even more appropriately, Iggy Koopa has a crippling substance abuse problem that's barely hinted at in Super Mario World.

Next time: The rest of the Koopa Kids, and the search for their mother.

More to come later.

[Dizzy]

I wonder who Lemmy is supposed to be...

[Valigarmander]

^ Lemmy Kilmister, lead singer from Motörhead.

[Dizzy]

Ah. OK.

That's all I need to know.

[Valigarmander]

I'm pretty sure that's it.

[Jere]

Most of them are named after famous persons in a way or two, but mostly musicians.

[Random User]

Iggy was teaching kids to abuse substances?

[Crazyswordsman]

You better REMEMBER your Koopa Kids. Bowser Jr. sucks. -CSM

[Robotazy]

Yet, he apparantly is leading the Koopa Kids.

:\/

[Metal Mario]

Roy = Roy Orbison
Ludwig = Ludwig Van Beethoven

[Valigarmander]

1UP's Retro Gaming Blog : Better Know Your Koopa Kids (Part Two)

In the last installment of Better Know Your Koopa Kids, we began to examine the celebrities which inspired the naming of Bowser's beloved children, and the possible connections between real-life famous people and fictional reptiles. Let's continue doing this before I realize it's a bad idea.



Even if you've never heard of Roy Orbison, you've undoubtedly heard his hit song "Pretty Woman," or watched the famous prostitute movie of the same name. Given that Roy had a big comeback in the late 80s, it makes a lot of sense that the slightly-dorky crooner would be on everyone's minds during the development of Super Mario Bros. 3. However, it should be pointed out that Orbison died just a few years before the game hit the States, giving Roy Koopa's name an air of questionable taste. Alas, there would be no Cobain Koopa in Super Mario World 2.

Possible connections: The big, red glasses -- though most old people usually wear protective eyewear of the same style after visiting the optometrist.



Lemmy might have gained some recent gaming fame with his appearance in Tim Schafer's Brutal Legend, but old-school gamers know he was immortalized back in 1990 when someone at Nintendo decided to sneak a Motorhead reference into Mario's newest adventure. Unfortunately for Mr. Kilmister, his Koopa counterpart bears very little resemblance to his real-life image, unless Lemmy carried a magic wand and balanced himself on giant circus balls at some point during his stage show (this is all very likely).

Possible connections: Lemmy Koopa's face paint kind of resembles mutton chops, if you squint. It should be noted that New Super Mario Bros. Wii gave Lemmy a little pony tail, which may or may not be more metal.



Ludwig van Beethoven was a poor German fisherman who wrote several popular doorbell jingles before dying of obscurity in a large grease fire. Of course, I'm being facetious; if you don't know who Ludwig van Beethoven is, you deserve to be misled.

Possible connections: You may think von Koopa's hair alone caused him to be named after the famous composer, but most folks are simply unaware that Beethoven also had a single sharp tooth in the front of his mouth. To this day, no one has found any photographs of Beethoven smiling. Or any photographs of him at all.

Now that the mystery behind The Koopa Kids has been unraveled in front of your very eyes, we come to the ultimate question: who is their mother? I now present you with my theory.



After weighing the evidence and constructing several logical proofs, I've come to the conclusion that Paper Mario's (along with the sequel) Kammy Koopa seems to be the most likely mother of The Koopa Kids. Now, hear me out: Bowser only regularly interacts with two females, Princess Peach and Kammy, and the latter is the only one who would engage in certain unspeakable biological activities with The Koopa King after several pitchers of margaritas. And if you look at Bowser and Kammy's combative relationship in the Paper Mario games, it's clearly filled with the white-hot hostility of an embittered married couple burdened with too many children (please make your Jon and Kate joke here).

Of course, I welcome any input on what will prove to be an enlightening and productive discussion. The ball's in your court, folks.

[Jere]

Hmm im thinking of doing one of these VGF style.

[Cosmonautical]

The Koopa Kids were originally created to represent and lampoon the characteristics of the original SMB3 dev team.

[Random User]

Bowser? Kammy Koopa? I think I need a bucket.

[JaredThaJa888]

This thread is priceless.