Philosophical Judgements

***CaptHayfever*** · 04-03-2011, 04:04 PM

Mr. Game & Watch's side-special is one of the most complicated attacks in the game, with 9 wholly different outcomes rolling up at random. The mechanic itself comes from the Judge handheld, of course, but the results were created by the Melee staff. What do you think they mean?

My theories:
1: G&W hurts himself to 1% against his opponent. Why do we wage battle when we only hurt ourselves in the process? Why are innocents brought to trial when doing so only hurts the integrity of the courts? (The judge, of course, represents the court as an entity.)

2: 4% Attack. Sometimes it feels like all we can do is chip away at the filthy world caused by the guilty amongst us. It is frustrating, to say the least.

3: 6% Fan attack. The penal system has the stated intention of rehabilitating minor offenders. Why, then, do so many of them end up coming back for more pain? They just get trapped in lives of petty crime & punishment, wasting their potential for productivity.

4: 8% Sword attack. At times it seems like the mandatory sentences, such as zero-tolerance school violence clauses or three-strikes public drug policies, serve contrary to their stated purpose of rehab, instead attempting to metaphorically cut the heads off the administration's ideological opponents. But cutting with a hammer isn't very effective, is it?

5: 3% x4 Electric shock. "They" tell us "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" or "don't whiz on the electric fence." Here, both of those adages are combined as electrocution traps an opponent longer than expected.

6: 12% Fire attack. Don't play with fire or you're gonna get burned. Fire is powerful, destructive, & hard to control, which is why we so severely punish those who misuse it. This Judgement is for the arsonists of the Smash world.

7: 14% & food drops. Seven is the lucky number, in this case for our judge/jury/executioner, who feeds on the spoils of those he sends to their fates. In olden times, judges would sometimes get a cut of the property of convicts, which explains this Judgement's higher "sentence" of damage. The lack of food when items are off serves as a warning to no-items obsessionists; removing your opponents' advantages can remove yours as well.

8: 9% Freeze attack. Committing a severe enough crime gets one sent into prisons so cut off from the world that it's like being frozen in time. The sentence itself need not even be particularly harsh, the isolation & subsequent abuse make it all the worse anyhow.

9: 32% Home Run Smash. GUILTY!!! For all the flaws of the judicial & penal systems, it still serves the important purpose of punishing the guilty for their crimes. And sometimes, courts are fortunate enough to get cases in which they need not feel any remorse for smacking down an offender with the maximum penalty.

Your thoughts?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

Rainbow Dash · 04-03-2011, 04:38 PM

i press side-b to ko my opponents when they least expect it

***CaptHayfever*** · 04-04-2011, 01:19 AM

Clearly you're a man of deep thoughts, Chunk. Mind sharing them with us?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

**Valigarmander** · 04-04-2011, 10:01 AM

I think Toad in the Super Smash Bros. games is a metaphor for abusive relationships. He sticks around as the ever-faithful servant of Peach, unhesitatingly heeding her every call. But whenever she whips him out, it's only to deflect a fireball, or a missile, or some other projectile. Toad always ends up battered and beaten as a result of Peach's actions, and she doesn't seem to care at all. Yet Toad never leaves, nor does he ever protest. He simply suffers in silence, faithful to his master.

Or maybe he's just okay with hit because when he gets to hide in her dress when she isn't using him.

**X-3** · 04-04-2011, 11:25 AM

Fox's side-B special represents his desire to escape his father's mysterious fate. Mario's side-B special represents his desire to push away responsibility by displaying his hero status. Luigi's side-B special showcases how he views his role in the world.

Jailbreaker · 04-04-2011, 07:12 PM

Meta Knight's B, Mach Tornado. Sometimes people are in a tight, stressful situation, and they lash out at others to get out of it. Of course, they can just come back for more, because lashing out like this won't hinder them very much. Sometimes, doing so can get you somewhere, but it won't save you from something you can't control, like falling. And if you do this too often, it can get predictable, and you'll be crushed.

Meta Knight's Final Smash, if used in team matches, will hurt allies, even with Friendly Fire off. (My brother and I found this a while back.) When you hurt enemies with all you've got, sometimes you'll hurt your friends, too.

***CaptHayfever*** · 04-05-2011, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by X-3

Luigi's side-B special showcases how he views his role in the world.

...His role as a rocket?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

**X-3** · 04-05-2011, 10:53 AM

His role as a weapon.

Rainbow Dash · 04-05-2011, 10:57 AM

he's a BOW (brother of war)

Antisocial · 04-05-2011, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by X-3

His role as a weapon.

Suddenly, his roles in the Mario & Luigi series make more sense.

Auron · 04-05-2011, 03:03 PM

^It's not like Mario hasn't been used as a weapon before either.

04-03-2011, 04:04 PM	#1
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,661 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	Philosophical Judgements Mr. Game & Watch's side-special is one of the most complicated attacks in the game, with 9 wholly different outcomes rolling up at random. The mechanic itself comes from the Judge handheld, of course, but the results were created by the Melee staff. What do you think they mean? My theories: 1: G&W hurts himself to 1% against his opponent. Why do we wage battle when we only hurt ourselves in the process? Why are innocents brought to trial when doing so only hurts the integrity of the courts? (The judge, of course, represents the court as an entity.) 2: 4% Attack. Sometimes it feels like all we can do is chip away at the filthy world caused by the guilty amongst us. It is frustrating, to say the least. 3: 6% Fan attack. The penal system has the stated intention of rehabilitating minor offenders. Why, then, do so many of them end up coming back for more pain? They just get trapped in lives of petty crime & punishment, wasting their potential for productivity. 4: 8% Sword attack. At times it seems like the mandatory sentences, such as zero-tolerance school violence clauses or three-strikes public drug policies, serve contrary to their stated purpose of rehab, instead attempting to metaphorically cut the heads off the administration's ideological opponents. But cutting with a hammer isn't very effective, is it? 5: 3% x4 Electric shock. "They" tell us "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" or "don't whiz on the electric fence." Here, both of those adages are combined as electrocution traps an opponent longer than expected. 6: 12% Fire attack. Don't play with fire or you're gonna get burned. Fire is powerful, destructive, & hard to control, which is why we so severely punish those who misuse it. This Judgement is for the arsonists of the Smash world. 7: 14% & food drops. Seven is the lucky number, in this case for our judge/jury/executioner, who feeds on the spoils of those he sends to their fates. In olden times, judges would sometimes get a cut of the property of convicts, which explains this Judgement's higher "sentence" of damage. The lack of food when items are off serves as a warning to no-items obsessionists; removing your opponents' advantages can remove yours as well. 8: 9% Freeze attack. Committing a severe enough crime gets one sent into prisons so cut off from the world that it's like being frozen in time. The sentence itself need not even be particularly harsh, the isolation & subsequent abuse make it all the worse anyhow. 9: 32% Home Run Smash. GUILTY!!! For all the flaws of the judicial & penal systems, it still serves the important purpose of punishing the guilty for their crimes. And sometimes, courts are fortunate enough to get cases in which they need not feel any remorse for smacking down an offender with the maximum penalty. Your thoughts? And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

04-03-2011, 04:38 PM	#2
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,402 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	i press side-b to ko my opponents when they least expect it

04-04-2011, 01:19 AM	#3
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,661 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	Clearly you're a man of deep thoughts, Chunk. Mind sharing them with us? And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

04-04-2011, 10:01 AM	#4
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I think Toad in the Super Smash Bros. games is a metaphor for abusive relationships. He sticks around as the ever-faithful servant of Peach, unhesitatingly heeding her every call. But whenever she whips him out, it's only to deflect a fireball, or a missile, or some other projectile. Toad always ends up battered and beaten as a result of Peach's actions, and she doesn't seem to care at all. Yet Toad never leaves, nor does he ever protest. He simply suffers in silence, faithful to his master. Or maybe he's just okay with hit because when he gets to hide in her dress when she isn't using him.

04-04-2011, 11:25 AM	#5
X-3 Useful as an Owl Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,947 Thanks: 753 Thanked 1,213 Times in 790 Posts Blog Entries: 10	Fox's side-B special represents his desire to escape his father's mysterious fate. Mario's side-B special represents his desire to push away responsibility by displaying his hero status. Luigi's side-B special showcases how he views his role in the world.

04-04-2011, 07:12 PM	#6
Jailbreaker Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Not in jail anymore, yay! Gender: Posts: 3,482 Thanks: 1,074 Thanked 185 Times in 118 Posts	Meta Knight's B, Mach Tornado. Sometimes people are in a tight, stressful situation, and they lash out at others to get out of it. Of course, they can just come back for more, because lashing out like this won't hinder them very much. Sometimes, doing so can get you somewhere, but it won't save you from something you can't control, like falling. And if you do this too often, it can get predictable, and you'll be crushed. Meta Knight's Final Smash, if used in team matches, will hurt allies, even with Friendly Fire off. (My brother and I found this a while back.) When you hurt enemies with all you've got, sometimes you'll hurt your friends, too.

04-05-2011, 10:53 AM	#8
X-3 Useful as an Owl Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,947 Thanks: 753 Thanked 1,213 Times in 790 Posts Blog Entries: 10	His role as a weapon.

04-05-2011, 10:57 AM	#9
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,402 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	he's a BOW (brother of war)

04-05-2011, 03:03 PM	#11
Auron Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Inside Gender: Posts: 6,743 Thanks: 5 Thanked 325 Times in 198 Posts	^It's not like Mario hasn't been used as a weapon before either.