Roger Ebert is a God among men

Bomby · 07-17-2008, 09:25 PM

On Freddy Got Fingered:
"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

On North:
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

On Revolver:
"Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" is a frothing mad film that thrashes against its very sprocket holes in an attempt to bash its brains out against the projector. It seems designed to punish the audience for buying tickets. It is a "thriller" without thrills, constructed in a meaningless jumble of flashbacks and flash-forwards and subtitles and mottos and messages and scenes that are deconstructed, reconstructed and self-destructed. I wanted to signal the projectionist to put a gun to it."
"Some of the acting is better than the film deserves. Make that all of the acting. Actually, the film stock itself is better than the film deserves. You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer."

On Armageddon:
"Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

Maximum Spider · 07-17-2008, 10:00 PM

The AVGN of movie reviewing. Only he sticks to the truth every time. Not to mention is a lot smarter. And he's also a professional.

Valigarmander · 07-18-2008, 10:01 PM

Hey, I didn't think Armageddon was all that bad...

Young Edsel · 07-18-2008, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VWF_champion

The AVGN of movie reviewing.

that guy with the glasses

07-17-2008, 09:25 PM	#1
Bomby The Man Who Sold the World Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere Gender: Posts: 15,261 Thanks: 215 Thanked 628 Times in 408 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 12,607.54 Bank: 2,767,595.77 Total Points: 2,780,203.32 Donate	Roger Ebert is a God among men On Freddy Got Fingered: "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels." On North: "I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it." On Revolver: "Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" is a frothing mad film that thrashes against its very sprocket holes in an attempt to bash its brains out against the projector. It seems designed to punish the audience for buying tickets. It is a "thriller" without thrills, constructed in a meaningless jumble of flashbacks and flash-forwards and subtitles and mottos and messages and scenes that are deconstructed, reconstructed and self-destructed. I wanted to signal the projectionist to put a gun to it." "Some of the acting is better than the film deserves. Make that all of the acting. Actually, the film stock itself is better than the film deserves. You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer." On Armageddon: "Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

07-17-2008, 10:00 PM	#2
Maximum Spider Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Are you man enough to fight with me? Gender: Posts: 1,528 Thanks: 0 Thanked 66 Times in 48 Posts Points: 3,410.25 Bank: 1.02 Total Points: 3,411.27 Donate	The AVGN of movie reviewing. Only he sticks to the truth every time. Not to mention is a lot smarter. And he's also a professional.

07-18-2008, 10:01 PM	#3
Valigarmander Frankly, more awesome than you. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Either UN's bed or Andre's bed. Gender: Posts: 13,104 Thanks: 813 Thanked 1,404 Times in 684 Posts Points: 201.78 Bank: 125,214.15 Total Points: 125,415.93 Donate	Hey, I didn't think Armageddon was all that bad...