Roger Ebert is a God among men

Bomby · 07-17-2008, 09:25 PM

On Freddy Got Fingered:
"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

On North:
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

On Revolver:
"Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" is a frothing mad film that thrashes against its very sprocket holes in an attempt to bash its brains out against the projector. It seems designed to punish the audience for buying tickets. It is a "thriller" without thrills, constructed in a meaningless jumble of flashbacks and flash-forwards and subtitles and mottos and messages and scenes that are deconstructed, reconstructed and self-destructed. I wanted to signal the projectionist to put a gun to it."
"Some of the acting is better than the film deserves. Make that all of the acting. Actually, the film stock itself is better than the film deserves. You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer."

On Armageddon:
"Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

Maximum Spider · 07-17-2008, 10:00 PM

The AVGN of movie reviewing. Only he sticks to the truth every time. Not to mention is a lot smarter. And he's also a professional.

**Valigarmander** · 07-18-2008, 10:01 PM

Hey, I didn't think Armageddon was all that bad...

Panfan · 07-18-2008, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VWF_champion

The AVGN of movie reviewing.

that guy with the glasses

ZeldaGirl · 02-11-2010, 10:17 PM

On Valentine's Day:

Quote:

"I think it's more of a First-Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again."

major lawl

**Galefore** · 02-12-2010, 01:10 PM

Ebert pwns. I own Your Movie Sucks and I just love the bite he puts into his negative reviews. Dude's awesome.

heh · 02-12-2010, 09:23 PM

ebert is the only movie critic i will ever care about

***Booyakasha*** · 02-15-2010, 02:36 PM

I think he's pretty good in general. A few of his reviews are really perplexing, though. Like giving 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead' zero stars seemingly just because he thinks it works better as a stage play.

Metal Man · 02-15-2010, 02:53 PM

For the most part, he's my favorite movie critic, although I tend to like some of Siskel's reviews though.

Bomby · 02-15-2010, 03:45 PM

What's funny about the revival of this topic, is that recently I mostly go to Roger Ebert's site just to check Jim Emerson's blog. Not that I've come to dislike Roger Ebert, but I've become more interested in Emerson's style of analyzing film in general, which is clearly influenced by our dear Emeritus professor David Bordwell, who actually lectured one of my classes today on how the "big dumb action movies" are actually quite smart in their construction. Or at least some of them.

I still do like to read Ebert's reviews when it comes to films I'm already interested in seeing, but overall I've just become less interested in reading "film reviews" of single films. Ebert is the best at that, though.

07-17-2008, 09:25 PM	#1
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Roger Ebert is a God among men On Freddy Got Fingered: "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels." On North: "I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it." On Revolver: "Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" is a frothing mad film that thrashes against its very sprocket holes in an attempt to bash its brains out against the projector. It seems designed to punish the audience for buying tickets. It is a "thriller" without thrills, constructed in a meaningless jumble of flashbacks and flash-forwards and subtitles and mottos and messages and scenes that are deconstructed, reconstructed and self-destructed. I wanted to signal the projectionist to put a gun to it." "Some of the acting is better than the film deserves. Make that all of the acting. Actually, the film stock itself is better than the film deserves. You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer." On Armageddon: "Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

07-17-2008, 10:00 PM	#2
Maximum Spider Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: I'll take Street Fighter over Dragonball any day. Gender: Posts: 2,549 Thanks: 0 Thanked 191 Times in 126 Posts	The AVGN of movie reviewing. Only he sticks to the truth every time. Not to mention is a lot smarter. And he's also a professional.

07-18-2008, 10:01 PM	#3
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Hey, I didn't think Armageddon was all that bad...

02-12-2010, 01:10 PM	#6
Galefore EXPLOSION GOD OF MUSIC Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Some studio somewhere Gender: Posts: 8,275 Thanks: 1,361 Thanked 826 Times in 535 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Ebert pwns. I own Your Movie Sucks and I just love the bite he puts into his negative reviews. Dude's awesome.

02-12-2010, 09:23 PM	#7
heh Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: lo-ca-tion; Noun- 1. a place or situation occupied: That house is in a fine location Gender: Posts: 9,849 Thanks: 710 Thanked 955 Times in 628 Posts	ebert is the only movie critic i will ever care about

02-15-2010, 02:36 PM	#8
*Booyakasha* SuperMod of War Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Wisconsinland Gender: Posts: 9,945 Thanks: 157 Thanked 1,481 Times in 763 Posts	I think he's pretty good in general. A few of his reviews are really perplexing, though. Like giving 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead' zero stars seemingly just because he thinks it works better as a stage play.

02-15-2010, 02:53 PM	#9
Metal Man Fairy-Slaying Maniac Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: 1592 Miles Away From Here Gender: Posts: 18,062 Thanks: 148 Thanked 683 Times in 482 Posts	For the most part, he's my favorite movie critic, although I tend to like some of Siskel's reviews though.

02-15-2010, 03:45 PM	#10
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	What's funny about the revival of this topic, is that recently I mostly go to Roger Ebert's site just to check Jim Emerson's blog. Not that I've come to dislike Roger Ebert, but I've become more interested in Emerson's style of analyzing film in general, which is clearly influenced by our dear Emeritus professor David Bordwell, who actually lectured one of my classes today on how the "big dumb action movies" are actually quite smart in their construction. Or at least some of them. I still do like to read Ebert's reviews when it comes to films I'm already interested in seeing, but overall I've just become less interested in reading "film reviews" of single films. Ebert is the best at that, though.