I spent the last week or so in California for the first time with my girlfriend. It was a wonderful time - we both got to experience being in that area for the first time. We went to LA and then San Francisco. The main reason for the trip was to visit her friend in San Francisco, whom we shall simply call S. S has been in relationship with this guy Dick since summer of last year - and I'm going to call him Dick from now on because that's pretty much what he is. I asked my girlfriend how S met Dick and the story actually bothered me because my first reaction was, "This guy sounds like he could be a dangerous vagrant." My gf and S went to DC last year and partied. S ran into Dick in the crowd and the two of them hooked up and have been together since. But Dick was literally just some guy wandering around. He didn't have a job and later revealed that he was divorced with a kid. He didn't have any friends in DC. Something about that whole backstory just bothered me. When someone doesn't have many friends that just brings up a red flag in me (with exceptions such as the person is made fun of a lot, etc, etc). S lives with Dick in an apartment in San Francisco. S moved there to study her line of work. Since San Francisco is notoriously expensive, she's able to hold a place with Dick having gotten a job and helping with rent. Before we arrived, my gf told me a story about how Dick once got paranoid and looked through S's laptop and phone thinking she was cheating on him - when he had 0 evidence that anything like that happened. In my head, I knew this guy could get volatile. We went to this awesome party in San Francisco at this actual warehouse or something. The place didn't have a name but apparently Dick knows some people in shady places who know where to "REALLY" party. The party place didn't have a name - you can't find it on a map. It's just an address. We have fun. We take an uber back, and right away I notice tension between S and Dick. We return to the apartment and Dick says he's staying outside for a bit for a smoke. S reveals to us that Dick was freaking out on her back at the party. S waited for Dick to come out of the bathroom and when he returned he suddenly accused her of "giving the eyes" to this random guy - whatever that means. Basically - he policed her every move and interpreted her every move as some kind of flirtation with another guy when there really wasn't any. S goes downstairs to talk to Dick. My gf and I hang out watching Stranger Things. S and Dick return to the room and Dick is FURIOUS. He's raging mad. He keeps accusing her of giving him ******** and then gets mad that she's now giving him the silent treatment. I ain't kidding when I say raging mad. This guy is shouting at the top of his lungs calling her a whore and slut. We all try to go to bed - key word - TRY. S ends up crying and sleeps on the couch by herself. Dick then starts throwing pillows at her and keeps saying **** like she's the fakest person he has ever known. Keep in mind that since Dick has started yelling, my blood began to boil. At this point, I rose up from where I slept on the floor and cried, "DICK SHUT THE **** AND GO THE **** TO SLEEP." "SCOTTY YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO" "DICK SHUT THE **** UP OR LEAVE THE ****ING APARTMENT." "SHOUTING AT ME ISN'T GOING TO SOLVE ANYTHING" "LOOK WHO'S ****ING TALKING DICK" "YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME SCOTTY? LETS GO OUTSIDE AND FIGHT THEN. I WILL FIGHT YOU MAN. I WILL FIGHT YOU" There was a moment when I actually thought, "hahahahahahahahaha I'm going to die." Like you know in games like Beyond Two Souls or Heavy Rain when you choose something to say and then the outcome is not what you had in mind and you're like "oh shiiiiit I really messed up" ?? Yeah. That's how I felt. I thought "hahahaha **** he's going to pull out a knife and shank me or something." But thankfully, it never came to that. After this, we're all clamoring for a bit. Dick then accepts that we all want him to leave. He tells S stuff like "I see how it is. You rally your friends against me. ****ing bitch." I give Dick his jacket and tell him to leave one more time. Dick leaves. I barely got a wink of sleep that night. I was up almost all night listening to any footsteps by the door thinking he'd come back. I kept thinking about backup plans. Plan B. Plan C. Plan D. E F G down to Z and then A1 and B1 and C1. The next day, we woke up late, naturally. Dick, however, had returned at some point in the early morning and I remember freezing in horror when I saw him back in bed. When everyone woke up - it was as if nothing had happened. Dick was his normal, sober self, albeit there was obvious tension between him and S where they would snap at each other. My gf and I kept glancing at each other with wide eyes, not knowing if this would explode any second. We left to enjoy the day without Dick. Dick then left to stay somewhere - God only knows. All we heard from him was a Snapchat he sent S of a bedroom, and we assumed he had found a place to crash for the day. At this point, my gf and I were certain that this was the end of their relationship. Naturally it would be, right? Nope. The next day, Dick returns around 3 AM, drunk. He tries apologizing to S. S wouldn't have it. They bicker. Before Dick goes his own way for the day - he actually tried spitting on S. I wasn't there for that unfortunately because I was showering. I can't imagine what I would have done if I had been in the room for that. We leave again for more sight-seeing. S has been texting Dick nearly the entire time telling him what he did wrong and that he should apologize. Then near the end of the day, S agrees to have Dick meet up with us to apologize. Dick apologizes to us and. . .all is well? We go out and have drinks. Eventually, my gf and I leave San Francisco but of course the question lingering in our minds is "What the actual ****?" According to S, stuff like this had happened before and she dealt with it - hitting each other and spitting at each other and biting each other - and she kept saying he won't change. S actually said she was going to break up with him. But they aren't broken up. I talked to my gf more about their history. My gf is really worried about S. S used to have friends in San Francisco but she pushed them all away when they spoke out against Dick. So naturally, my gf is afraid of speaking out against Dick to S because she'll get pushed away too. S is in a tight spot because she needs to study for her doctorate in San Francisco but she needs a place to stay, and Dick is helping out with rent. So my gf suspects the financial strain is partly why S is bothering to stay with Dick. I dunno man. It was a wild night. I get tired just by thinking about it. It's clear that S is trapped in an abusive, controlling relationship, but she's very prideful and hates being told what to do.