It literally makes me sick.

Demonicus Prime · 02-12-2008, 08:51 PM

I've been unnaturally good friends with someone since May, and we've really connected. We've been very close to eachother, and I've been tossing around the idea of a relationship in my head. It was really close, but I basically chickened out. It's gone fine even then.

Until the 4th of last month. She took a joke entirely too seriously, and we didn't talk until last Tuesday. Everything's fine, and it was all a misuderstanding(thank God).

We've been the same as before, best of friends, and my love's still there. But here comes the fun part:she just left for a date with someone that she won't tell me. I don't know what to think. She could be trying to go out with this kid that I hate with a violent passion, or she could be faking it to get my attention. Which has happened.

I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it. It's almost exactly like the Nickleback song "Somebody You're With". I don't know what to do. I'm worried about asking her incase I press her too hard(PW), and I'm worried about it being that other kid. Because I will beat his ass, no questions asked. Not only is he the most annoying person I know, he's a moocher and thinks people care about him. Reminds me of L007's problem, actually.

I can't afford to get in that kind of trouble, with her or the school system.

God. Dammit.

Valigarmander · 02-12-2008, 10:18 PM

Well, mate, I hope you the best. If you're really close you two will be able to talk and reason things. Hopefully, you'll find out what's going on.

If things are worst and she is going on a date with someone, perhaps it isn't all that serious. People go on dates all the time without actually being interested in the person. Maybe sometime, you should confide to her how you really feel. If she's close enough to you, she should be willing to listen.

**L007 is Undecided** · 02-12-2008, 10:53 PM

Ah, those types of situations. The thing is, you DON'T know what's happening. Until you can find out, thinking about what the worst possible thing that could happen will just tear out your flesh.

Honestly, if the two of you are great friends, don't be afraid to ask. If she refuses, ask around. Just remember, try not to be pessimistic about it. I'm sure she may see why others may not like the moocher of your school.

... Man, that word is just losing meaning.

The Missing Link · 02-13-2008, 02:38 AM

Agreed with L007. As a friend, you should ask what's up because, well, in this case, you're concerned, ne?

Be that as it may, first, if she's seriously going on a date with the guy, the best option you have is to tell her you don't think he's worth a darn, but that's it. If she won't listen to your side, then you have to live with it. Beating him up won't fix it. Second, if she's messing with you just to get your attention, she shouldn't be, and you should tell her that much. After all, there are better ways for her to grab your attention, am I right?

Demonicus Prime · 02-13-2008, 07:21 AM

Of course. Even she realizes that I've been right about EVERY guy insofar. She's gone out with three guys since May, and I've been right about every one. You'd think that she would realize that kind of trash when she sees it.

I'm probably the most pessimistic person on the planet. If something happens, I think the worst. It's not the best, but it's what I have. I sit there and beat myself up about this kinda stuff, and then nothing happens. But the three times that I don't, something bad actually happens.

Damn.

DELICIOUS POISON · 02-13-2008, 09:11 AM

If you know what's right so well, why don't you step in and show her?

Demonicus Prime · 02-13-2008, 05:47 PM

^I'm trying, but I don't want to unneccesarily ruin the friendship.

Good news, actually. It went horribly, and she was really happy around me today.

**Dr. Horrible** · 02-13-2008, 06:43 PM

Better get her something for Valentine's Day. Just don't take gift-giving advice from Justin Timberlake.

Demonicus Prime · 02-13-2008, 06:56 PM

Haha, you just gave me the best idea ever.

The Missing Link · 02-14-2008, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonicus Prime

^I'm trying, but I don't want to unneccesarily ruin the friendship.

Ah... I've heard this so many times over. The problem is that it's so trite and practically a fallacious argument.

Granted, I say with perhaps a different vantage point than where you are in life, but let me put this on the floor right now. The best lovers have a very sincere and close friendship, and the strongest friendship should be able to weather a falling out of love. Seriously, if you guys do get into that, you need to set up the ground rule first that you're always friends before lovers, and that SHOULD prevent anything from completely ruining it because you always know that the other person is looking out for what's best for the both of you.

Be that as it may, until you make your move, you really don't have a lot of power over who she goes out with other than giving her your two cents about whether or not they're decent people or not. I mean, this one turned out to be a bum of a guy. But if she finds a really good guy, someone you can just can't write off as a jerk... well, then you're going to be feeling the sting of that one until you learn to live with it.

Demonicus Prime · 02-14-2008, 07:32 AM

I think you guys misinterpret my reasoning behind beating him. I'm not beating him to "narrow the competition", I was going to do it because he's crap and he needs to know it before he tries it again. But then again, it was a different guy, so he's safe for now. <.<

TML, I understand you completely. I just wish it were that simple. The last time I went that route it didn't end too well, and I don't want that kind of outcome to be the result of this. As I said to my friend Geoff, I'd rather be her best friend for years than go out with her for a week. I just don't want to lose her. That's happened before, and I don't know that I could handle it with all the other crap piled up. I'm not saying she's my Alpha-Omega, I just think the weight of her last straw would be too much for me.

**Wyborn** · 02-14-2008, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonicus Prime

I'm not beating him to "narrow the competition", I was going to do it because he's crap and he needs to know it before he tries it again.

This isn't good reasoning. This is bully reasoning, as a bully would have.

Everybody Nose · 02-14-2008, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Missing Link

Ah... I've heard this so many times over. The problem is that it's so trite and practically a fallacious argument.

Granted, I say with perhaps a different vantage point than where you are in life, but let me put this on the floor right now. The best lovers have a very sincere and close friendship, and the strongest friendship should be able to weather a falling out of love. Seriously, if you guys do get into that, you need to set up the ground rule first that you're always friends before lovers, and that SHOULD prevent anything from completely ruining it because you always know that the other person is looking out for what's best for the both of you.

Be that as it may, until you make your move, you really don't have a lot of power over who she goes out with other than giving her your two cents about whether or not they're decent people or not. I mean, this one turned out to be a bum of a guy. But if she finds a really good guy, someone you can just can't write off as a jerk... well, then you're going to be feeling the sting of that one until you learn to live with it.

I'll have to remember that.

Demonicus Prime · 02-14-2008, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyborn

This isn't good reasoning. This is bully reasoning, as a bully would have.

Not neccesarily. He thinks that everyone loves him, but there's only like two, maybe three that really do. He's arrogant about the way he does things, and he thinks he's immortal, and he needs to be proven otherwise.

DELICIOUS POISON · 02-14-2008, 06:19 PM

It's silly to think it's your responsibility to "teach someone a lesson."

And I agree with TML. I wouldn't have had any relationships so far, or at least satisfying ones, if I was afraid of ruining a friendship. You can have either both or none, really. If you jump into something with someone you're not friends with, it's almost never going to work out.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 02-14-2008, 06:28 PM

Uhm, no. He doesn't need anything proven to him, especially by violence or intimidation. That is wrong and terrible. Think about it a little harder before you try and justify it anymore.

Besides, if you're not going to make a move on the ladyfriend, then all you have the right to do is either support her, offer advice (which she doesn't have to take) or ignore her relationship. You have no claim over her, you have no place telling her who she should or shouldn't date. Regardless of if you're right about someone's character, she has a will of her own and people can only learn from their own mistakes-- NOT by you trying to shelter them.

And yes, you can mess up your friendship by taking a chance. You can also mess it up by secretly loving someone and watching them love other people. You can cause your own destruction, holding onto things like that. Look at how you're reacting even now, when you think she's on a date with someone you disapprove of. What happens when you do get into a fight with her boyfriend? How long will you be friends if you try and control who she's with, when you won't tell her that you love her?

Demonicus Prime · 02-14-2008, 10:21 PM

Go ahead and move this guys. This should've gone in the venting forum, obviously. I wasn't going to beat him because I wanted "to teach him a lesson", it was because he pissed me off and he thinks that he can get away from everything. I've left out certain details that I don't particularly want on the internet, and I think those are what's making this confusing.

Please move this.

DELICIOUS POISON · 02-16-2008, 12:10 AM

Violence just because you're angry at someone isn't going to make anything better. You'd just ruin your relationship to the girl dating him.

Moved.

Demonicus Prime · 02-16-2008, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonicus Prime

I've left out certain details that I don't particularly want on the internet, and I think those are what's making this confusing.

***ZeldaGirl*** · 02-16-2008, 02:30 AM

Well, since there are obviously aspects of this situation you CAN'T talk about, please accept cookies and hugs as condolences from moi.

* ZeldaGirl gives Demonicus (or do you prefer YF? ) cookies and hugsies!

02-12-2008, 08:51 PM	#1
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 572 Thanked 96 Times in 70 Posts Points: 14,403.84 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 14,403.84 Donate	It literally makes me sick. I've been unnaturally good friends with someone since May, and we've really connected. We've been very close to eachother, and I've been tossing around the idea of a relationship in my head. It was really close, but I basically chickened out. It's gone fine even then. Until the 4th of last month. She took a joke entirely too seriously, and we didn't talk until last Tuesday. Everything's fine, and it was all a misuderstanding(thank God). We've been the same as before, best of friends, and my love's still there. But here comes the fun part:she just left for a date with someone that she won't tell me. I don't know what to think. She could be trying to go out with this kid that I hate with a violent passion, or she could be faking it to get my attention. Which has happened. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it. It's almost exactly like the Nickleback song "Somebody You're With". I don't know what to do. I'm worried about asking her incase I press her too hard(PW), and I'm worried about it being that other kid. Because I will beat his ass, no questions asked. Not only is he the most annoying person I know, he's a moocher and thinks people care about him. Reminds me of L007's problem, actually. I can't afford to get in that kind of trouble, with her or the school system. God. Dammit.

02-12-2008, 10:18 PM	#2
Valigarmander Frankly, more awesome than you. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Either UN's bed or Andre's bed. Gender: Posts: 13,128 Thanks: 841 Thanked 1,426 Times in 689 Posts Points: 24.11 Bank: 126,084.15 Total Points: 126,108.26 Donate	Well, mate, I hope you the best. If you're really close you two will be able to talk and reason things. Hopefully, you'll find out what's going on. If things are worst and she is going on a date with someone, perhaps it isn't all that serious. People go on dates all the time without actually being interested in the person. Maybe sometime, you should confide to her how you really feel. If she's close enough to you, she should be willing to listen.

02-12-2008, 10:53 PM	#3
L007 is Undecided Axe Shreddin' Mod Join Date: May 2001 Location: Farmerland. Gender: Posts: 7,458 Thanks: 98 Thanked 323 Times in 189 Posts Points: 6,929.83 Bank: 24,672.54 Total Points: 31,602.37 Donate	Ah, those types of situations. The thing is, you DON'T know what's happening. Until you can find out, thinking about what the worst possible thing that could happen will just tear out your flesh. Honestly, if the two of you are great friends, don't be afraid to ask. If she refuses, ask around. Just remember, try not to be pessimistic about it. I'm sure she may see why others may not like the moocher of your school. ... Man, that word is just losing meaning.

02-13-2008, 02:38 AM	#4
The Missing Link Professional Lurker Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: New Hyrule, Washington, US Gender: Posts: 15,684 Thanks: 83 Thanked 294 Times in 201 Posts Points: 11,592.15 Bank: 82,215.45 Total Points: 93,807.60 Donate	Agreed with L007. As a friend, you should ask what's up because, well, in this case, you're concerned, ne? Be that as it may, first, if she's seriously going on a date with the guy, the best option you have is to tell her you don't think he's worth a darn, but that's it. If she won't listen to your side, then you have to live with it. Beating him up won't fix it. Second, if she's messing with you just to get your attention, she shouldn't be, and you should tell her that much. After all, there are better ways for her to grab your attention, am I right?

02-13-2008, 07:21 AM	#5
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 572 Thanked 96 Times in 70 Posts Points: 14,403.84 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 14,403.84 Donate	Of course. Even she realizes that I've been right about EVERY guy insofar. She's gone out with three guys since May, and I've been right about every one. You'd think that she would realize that kind of trash when she sees it. I'm probably the most pessimistic person on the planet. If something happens, I think the worst. It's not the best, but it's what I have. I sit there and beat myself up about this kinda stuff, and then nothing happens. But the three times that I don't, something bad actually happens. Damn.

02-13-2008, 09:11 AM	#6
DELICIOUS POISON Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 16,307 Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,436 Times in 721 Posts Points: 9,048.79 Bank: 2,667,479.76 Total Points: 2,676,528.55 Donate	If you know what's right so well, why don't you step in and show her?

02-13-2008, 05:47 PM	#7
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 572 Thanked 96 Times in 70 Posts Points: 14,403.84 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 14,403.84 Donate	^I'm trying, but I don't want to unneccesarily ruin the friendship. Good news, actually. It went horribly, and she was really happy around me today.

02-13-2008, 06:43 PM	#8
Dr. Horrible PP&R Mod Current Events Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: More important than where is when.... Gender: Posts: 6,575 Thanks: 112 Thanked 418 Times in 281 Posts Points: 516.87 Bank: 2,782,965.35 Total Points: 2,783,482.22 Donate	Better get her something for Valentine's Day. Just don't take gift-giving advice from Justin Timberlake.

02-13-2008, 06:56 PM	#9
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 572 Thanked 96 Times in 70 Posts Points: 14,403.84 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 14,403.84 Donate	Haha, you just gave me the best idea ever.

02-14-2008, 07:32 AM	#11
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 572 Thanked 96 Times in 70 Posts Points: 14,403.84 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 14,403.84 Donate	I think you guys misinterpret my reasoning behind beating him. I'm not beating him to "narrow the competition", I was going to do it because he's crap and he needs to know it before he tries it again. But then again, it was a different guy, so he's safe for now. <.< TML, I understand you completely. I just wish it were that simple. The last time I went that route it didn't end too well, and I don't want that kind of outcome to be the result of this. As I said to my friend Geoff, I'd rather be her best friend for years than go out with her for a week. I just don't want to lose her. That's happened before, and I don't know that I could handle it with all the other crap piled up. I'm not saying she's my Alpha-Omega, I just think the weight of her last straw would be too much for me.

02-14-2008, 06:19 PM	#15
DELICIOUS POISON Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 16,307 Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,436 Times in 721 Posts Points: 9,048.79 Bank: 2,667,479.76 Total Points: 2,676,528.55 Donate	It's silly to think it's your responsibility to "teach someone a lesson." And I agree with TML. I wouldn't have had any relationships so far, or at least satisfying ones, if I was afraid of ruining a friendship. You can have either both or none, really. If you jump into something with someone you're not friends with, it's almost never going to work out.

02-14-2008, 06:28 PM	#16
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 23,820 Thanks: 292 Thanked 524 Times in 368 Posts Points: 25,064.14 Bank: 172,813.71 Total Points: 197,877.85 Donate	Uhm, no. He doesn't need anything proven to him, especially by violence or intimidation. That is wrong and terrible. Think about it a little harder before you try and justify it anymore. Besides, if you're not going to make a move on the ladyfriend, then all you have the right to do is either support her, offer advice (which she doesn't have to take) or ignore her relationship. You have no claim over her, you have no place telling her who she should or shouldn't date. Regardless of if you're right about someone's character, she has a will of her own and people can only learn from their own mistakes-- NOT by you trying to shelter them. And yes, you can mess up your friendship by taking a chance. You can also mess it up by secretly loving someone and watching them love other people. You can cause your own destruction, holding onto things like that. Look at how you're reacting even now, when you think she's on a date with someone you disapprove of. What happens when you do get into a fight with her boyfriend? How long will you be friends if you try and control who she's with, when you won't tell her that you love her?

02-14-2008, 10:21 PM	#17
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 572 Thanked 96 Times in 70 Posts Points: 14,403.84 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 14,403.84 Donate	Go ahead and move this guys. This should've gone in the venting forum, obviously. I wasn't going to beat him because I wanted "to teach him a lesson", it was because he pissed me off and he thinks that he can get away from everything. I've left out certain details that I don't particularly want on the internet, and I think those are what's making this confusing. Please move this.

02-16-2008, 12:10 AM	#18
DELICIOUS POISON Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 16,307 Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,436 Times in 721 Posts Points: 9,048.79 Bank: 2,667,479.76 Total Points: 2,676,528.55 Donate	Violence just because you're angry at someone isn't going to make anything better. You'd just ruin your relationship to the girl dating him. Moved.

02-16-2008, 02:30 AM	#20
*ZeldaGirl* Venting SuperMod Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 12,072 Thanks: 514 Thanked 853 Times in 582 Posts Points: 29,156.15 Bank: 463,808.78 Total Points: 492,964.92 Donate	Well, since there are obviously aspects of this situation you CAN'T talk about, please accept cookies and hugs as condolences from moi. * ZeldaGirl gives Demonicus (or do you prefer YF? ) cookies and hugsies!