I was banned from a bar

**Crazyswordsman** · 07-09-2009, 11:39 PM

Apparently some of the staff thought I was freaking out girls (which I wasn't because I would never approach someone who didn't approach me first or who at least acknowledged me, and I would NEVER touch a girl inappropriately), and so the owner banned me. Now, I've seen people at the bars who do things to girls which are actually freaky (such as grabbing random girls' butts). All I do is talk to them, try to strike up a conversation (because my friends won't return my calls and won't talk to me and thus I become lonely and isolated otherwise) and if it doesn't work, I move on. That's called being a gentleman, not a pervert, last I checked.

Now, if a staff member looks at me and he perceives I'm doing something inappropriate (such as because I'm alone, I may look stalky, which is not my intention) or because of the one time I was talking to a girl who worked at the bar part time but while she was off-duty (even though she addressed me first), that's their problem, because I'm not like that at all (maybe because of my Aspergers I come across in bad ways unintentionally). It's very hard to meet people outside of bars these days. I joined a running club and am friends with most of the people there, but I don't have any of their numbers yet (male or female). I can't find anything else out there that interests me (until I get my bike refurbrished, that is

).

Now this comes at the heels of a day in which my coworkers pampered these two people who just came back from vacation with new work, while I was left to wallow away and not get any care at all (which increases the fear of me getting laid off). I felt alone and uncared for and in need of a hug. And now one of the few places I go to let off steam (and one of the few bars I feel comfortable in) doesn't want me around. -CSM

t3hDarkness · 07-10-2009, 01:55 AM

If you have forsaken the Find Mate feat by level 22 (no problems here), you can easily attain the Summon the Geek Horde feat.
Basically you just hang out at any hobby, game, comic, or video shop and people more hopeless that you will be naturally drawn to your 'more awesomeness'.
If you happen to be a Judge or Game Master, then you attract 50% more geeks and 1d4 sycophants and have the possibility of summoning the ultra rare She-Geek.
Be careful though, a high concentration of Geek energy can sometimes smell like BO.

______________________________________________

Joking aside, game stores are a great place to meet people if you have the time for them, another good place is at part-time or volunteer jobs.

Probably not your thing, but hey, you're making new friends in the running group so chin up.

**Crazyswordsman** · 07-10-2009, 07:39 AM

Thanks, that brought a smile to my face.

Although I just had a dream that my boss found out and fired me. -CSM

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 07-10-2009, 07:45 AM

Let me put it this way: you're at a bar. People are there to drink. People are there to have a good time, maybe pick up someone. The women there are more or less expecting some drunk guy to be grabbing their butts, inappropriate or otherwise. You, being a decent person and having regular conversations at a bar is unexpected. If you're not flirting, or hitting on the women, I gotta tell you, someone probably will think that's a weird thing to be doing at a bar. If the staff are observing you doing this regularly, and hearing other people talk about how you're not being the standard bar-prick, then there's the potential of them taking it the wrong way. *shrug*

Not necessarily anything you can do about that. Feel free to write to the owner asking him to remove the ban, as you feel you have never behaved inappropriately. Keep in mind they reserve the right to deny service to anyone, for any reason (or none at all) if they want. If they don't revoke the ban, you will simply need to find somewhere else to hangout.

Pyropunk · 07-10-2009, 10:03 AM

^ what she said.

I knew this guy who would sit in Ibar and be the creepiest person you would ever meet. He never talked to girls less they talked to him, he was ubber dark and just kept to himself... than finally i bumped his arm ordering a drink one day, found out he was the coolest cat ever, and to this day we are friends. He actually had the same situation occurr a few times where he was requested to leave the bars and never return... He contacted a few of the owners, they discussed the situation and was able to go back to a few, but ya know, some people who are dicks, just can't see the beauty in those who aren't like them. I'm glad I accidentally bumped him and we talked, cuz like I said, to this day he's one of my best friends.

You'll get through it, just find a new place to chill at and a new place to call home, explain to them the way you function and that you are truly a good decent gentleman and mean no harm, you just have a different way of being in a bar than some of the other *******s ^^

<3 you rock, don't let it get to you!!!

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · 07-10-2009, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazyswordsman

I may look stalky.

Having this frame of mind may exude that vibe...

**Crazyswordsman** · 07-10-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I REALLY HATE POKEMON!

Having this frame of mind may exude that vibe...

But it's not my intention. They're getting the wrong impression. -CSM

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · 07-10-2009, 07:47 PM

^ Of course, I know that.

Kil'jaeden · 07-12-2009, 08:26 AM

So if you aren't very openly acting like a jackass in a bar, then you must be hiding some evil intentions. Just sitting there quietly? Better watch that one.

Bomby · 07-12-2009, 11:13 AM

I was also banned from the bar. Not that I care, since I never planned on being a lawyer, anyway.

In all seriousness, if you're not into "bar-type behavior," you probably won't want to meet the women who hang out at bars, as more than likely they'll exhibit that type of behavior themselves.

Rainbow Dash · 07-12-2009, 12:13 PM

have you tried talking with the owner

Eagle Eye · 07-12-2009, 12:36 PM

I don't do bars/clubs, simply because I don't care for getting myself into that kind of stuff. I will say that there are some older clubs around here (21+ crowd) that are pretty chill, I've been in one before because they didn't card and I can pass as a person in their mid-20s. Very nice spot, next year I'm going back.

Zharen · 07-12-2009, 04:24 PM

I don't go to bars because of the vibe/mentality. Hookah bars on the other hand, are hella chill.

***Ace Mercury*** · 07-12-2009, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazyswordsman

I was banned from a bar

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it could happen to me, but boy was I wrong...

Metal Mario · 07-28-2009, 04:52 AM

I feel your pain, dude. I also find it extremely difficult to meet people, and there's not really any social places around where I live besides bars (all of which close up at 1 AM, incidentally). I've tried the bars on multiple occasions, and I've seen many attractive women there, but they're never interested in expanding their social horizons. They're just there to drink with the friends they came with.

And like you, I've also been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Not full-blown, I don't think, but I exhibit many symptoms.

07-09-2009, 11:39 PM	#1
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	I was banned from a bar Apparently some of the staff thought I was freaking out girls (which I wasn't because I would never approach someone who didn't approach me first or who at least acknowledged me, and I would NEVER touch a girl inappropriately), and so the owner banned me. Now, I've seen people at the bars who do things to girls which are actually freaky (such as grabbing random girls' butts). All I do is talk to them, try to strike up a conversation (because my friends won't return my calls and won't talk to me and thus I become lonely and isolated otherwise) and if it doesn't work, I move on. That's called being a gentleman, not a pervert, last I checked. Now, if a staff member looks at me and he perceives I'm doing something inappropriate (such as because I'm alone, I may look stalky, which is not my intention) or because of the one time I was talking to a girl who worked at the bar part time but while she was off-duty (even though she addressed me first), that's their problem, because I'm not like that at all (maybe because of my Aspergers I come across in bad ways unintentionally). It's very hard to meet people outside of bars these days. I joined a running club and am friends with most of the people there, but I don't have any of their numbers yet (male or female). I can't find anything else out there that interests me (until I get my bike refurbrished, that is ). Now this comes at the heels of a day in which my coworkers pampered these two people who just came back from vacation with new work, while I was left to wallow away and not get any care at all (which increases the fear of me getting laid off). I felt alone and uncared for and in need of a hug. And now one of the few places I go to let off steam (and one of the few bars I feel comfortable in) doesn't want me around. -CSM

07-10-2009, 01:55 AM	#2
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender: Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5	If you have forsaken the Find Mate feat by level 22 (no problems here), you can easily attain the Summon the Geek Horde feat. Basically you just hang out at any hobby, game, comic, or video shop and people more hopeless that you will be naturally drawn to your 'more awesomeness'. If you happen to be a Judge or Game Master, then you attract 50% more geeks and 1d4 sycophants and have the possibility of summoning the ultra rare She-Geek. Be careful though, a high concentration of Geek energy can sometimes smell like BO. ______________________________________________ Joking aside, game stores are a great place to meet people if you have the time for them, another good place is at part-time or volunteer jobs. Probably not your thing, but hey, you're making new friends in the running group so chin up.

07-10-2009, 07:39 AM	#3
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	Thanks, that brought a smile to my face. Although I just had a dream that my boss found out and fired me. -CSM

07-10-2009, 07:45 AM	#4
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Let me put it this way: you're at a bar. People are there to drink. People are there to have a good time, maybe pick up someone. The women there are more or less expecting some drunk guy to be grabbing their butts, inappropriate or otherwise. You, being a decent person and having regular conversations at a bar is unexpected. If you're not flirting, or hitting on the women, I gotta tell you, someone probably will think that's a weird thing to be doing at a bar. If the staff are observing you doing this regularly, and hearing other people talk about how you're not being the standard bar-prick, then there's the potential of them taking it the wrong way. shrug Not necessarily anything you can do about that. Feel free to write to the owner asking him to remove the ban, as you feel you have never behaved inappropriately. Keep in mind they reserve the right to deny service to anyone, for any reason (or none at all) if they want. If they don't revoke the ban, you will simply need to find somewhere else to hangout.

07-10-2009, 10:03 AM	#5
Pyropunk Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orlando, FL Gender: Posts: 367 Thanks: 139 Thanked 26 Times in 25 Posts	^ what she said. I knew this guy who would sit in Ibar and be the creepiest person you would ever meet. He never talked to girls less they talked to him, he was ubber dark and just kept to himself... than finally i bumped his arm ordering a drink one day, found out he was the coolest cat ever, and to this day we are friends. He actually had the same situation occurr a few times where he was requested to leave the bars and never return... He contacted a few of the owners, they discussed the situation and was able to go back to a few, but ya know, some people who are dicks, just can't see the beauty in those who aren't like them. I'm glad I accidentally bumped him and we talked, cuz like I said, to this day he's one of my best friends. You'll get through it, just find a new place to chill at and a new place to call home, explain to them the way you function and that you are truly a good decent gentleman and mean no harm, you just have a different way of being in a bar than some of the other *******s ^^ <3 you rock, don't let it get to you!!!

07-10-2009, 07:47 PM	#8
I REALLY HATE POKEMON! Goku lives on the Sun Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: California, U.S.A Gender: Posts: 12,717 Thanks: 1,334 Thanked 275 Times in 234 Posts Blog Entries: 1	^ Of course, I know that.

07-12-2009, 08:26 AM	#9
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,134 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	So if you aren't very openly acting like a jackass in a bar, then you must be hiding some evil intentions. Just sitting there quietly? Better watch that one.

07-12-2009, 11:13 AM	#10
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	I was also banned from the bar. Not that I care, since I never planned on being a lawyer, anyway. In all seriousness, if you're not into "bar-type behavior," you probably won't want to meet the women who hang out at bars, as more than likely they'll exhibit that type of behavior themselves.

07-12-2009, 12:13 PM	#11
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,402 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	have you tried talking with the owner

07-12-2009, 12:36 PM	#12
Eagle Eye Diddy bops Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 15,014 Thanks: 1,616 Thanked 1,084 Times in 597 Posts	I don't do bars/clubs, simply because I don't care for getting myself into that kind of stuff. I will say that there are some older clubs around here (21+ crowd) that are pretty chill, I've been in one before because they didn't card and I can pass as a person in their mid-20s. Very nice spot, next year I'm going back.

07-12-2009, 04:24 PM	#13
Zharen Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Modesto, CA U.S. Gender: Posts: 7,085 Thanks: 21 Thanked 71 Times in 35 Posts	I don't go to bars because of the vibe/mentality. Hookah bars on the other hand, are hella chill.

07-28-2009, 04:52 AM	#15
Metal Mario Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Gender: Posts: 16,435 Thanks: 72 Thanked 190 Times in 127 Posts	I feel your pain, dude. I also find it extremely difficult to meet people, and there's not really any social places around where I live besides bars (all of which close up at 1 AM, incidentally). I've tried the bars on multiple occasions, and I've seen many attractive women there, but they're never interested in expanding their social horizons. They're just there to drink with the friends they came with. And like you, I've also been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Not full-blown, I don't think, but I exhibit many symptoms.