Ugh...

Panfan · 01-15-2010, 09:11 PM

The past week has been just awful. I've been sick for quite a while, and antibiotics have only really somewhat worked. The constant headaches and earaches have been keeping me up at night, along with reasons I'm about to get into. Along with this, one of my best friends is having really big problems with his girlfriend, and it only seems to be getting worse every day.

The main reason that I wasn't getting sleep (a lot more reason than the headache/earache) was because I couldn't stop thinking about a girl. I had kind of flirted with the girl for a few months now, but I never really thought about taking it seriously until a few weeks ago. It was getting worse every night, to the point where I decided I was going to ask her out and get it done with. She said maybe, that she'd think about it and get back to me, and then we went along our way. That night was even worse. The insomnia was even worse. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was so excited. What if she said yes? On the other hand, what if she said no? One of the reasons I didn't ask her out earlier was because of my earlier experiences with asking girls out which has built a resistance against making any moves on anybody I was interested until now, something that I had a tendency to get pissed at myself for.

The next day, yesterday, she gave me my response after school. "I'm sorry, I still want to be friends." I felt terrible, and a lot of my friends felt for me too. I tried to get my mind off of it for a while. Playing video games and just chilling out in the dorms seemed to help. I even ate with her at dinner and we seemed generally chill with each other and not really awkward at all. Even more so later that night after some basketball games. Still didn't get a lot of sleep last night, guess it's just a habit now.

We hung out a lot more today, and things seemed mostly fine. We both knew that things weren't perfectly fine, but I'm pretty sure I knew there would be something like this when I asked her, and she knew this would happen when she answered. All in all though we weren't really that awkward anymore. I went home right after school today, listened to some music, went on here for a bit, and then I started to get texts from her. At first it was just a few questions about how long I've wanted to ask her out, who I told about it, stuff like that. But as the conversation developed I discovered that some of the people who "felt for me" were even taking this harder than me. Some people were pissed at her for saying no and I guess talked to her about how she "broke my heart". I told her to just ignore them, but as the conversation still progressed. She continued to apologize and talk about how she felt really bad about what she did. She said she was crying as she texted me.

I tried to comfort her through this, and I started to get more upset than I've been at any point during this week. I felt terrible for putting her through this, and I got really pissed at the people who got angry at her. *EDIT: THE TEXT THAT USED TO BE HERE IS NOW MEANINGLESS. IT IS NOW RESOLVED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS SECTION OF TEXT.* She hasn't responded so far in the past half hour. I feel like this is partially my fault because I was one of the people who put her through all this and I really wish I stayed up at school this weekend so I could talk to her face to face about this.

tl;dr: I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm pissed at myself, I'm especially pissed at others, and I have awful timing.

even more tl;dr: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

chibimod3 · 01-15-2010, 09:32 PM

Well my piece of advice is that it could always be worse. I mean she could have gotten angry rather than sad at this fact of people blaming her. Then things would be worse off then they are now. And she didn't give you a disgusted answer like, he** no or I wouldn't be caught dead with you. So you still have a shot. Keep trying.

Panfan · 01-15-2010, 10:10 PM

Well I should've said "screw it I'm going to bed" instead of posting this.

Because right as I did that about ten minutes ago, she replied saying whatever went down earlier was resolved by her and the other people involved, and that she was feeling a lot better, which made me feel a lot better. Got rid of text because she doesn't really want people to know what happened, and as you know there are people on this site that know the people involved (sorry ml)

Still feel completely awful though. Just less awful than before.

01-15-2010, 09:11 PM	#1
Panfan AND HE PRAYS Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Grayskull Gender: Posts: 18,806 Thanks: 1,405 Thanked 2,251 Times in 1,339 Posts Blog Entries: 15	Ugh... The past week has been just awful. I've been sick for quite a while, and antibiotics have only really somewhat worked. The constant headaches and earaches have been keeping me up at night, along with reasons I'm about to get into. Along with this, one of my best friends is having really big problems with his girlfriend, and it only seems to be getting worse every day. The main reason that I wasn't getting sleep (a lot more reason than the headache/earache) was because I couldn't stop thinking about a girl. I had kind of flirted with the girl for a few months now, but I never really thought about taking it seriously until a few weeks ago. It was getting worse every night, to the point where I decided I was going to ask her out and get it done with. She said maybe, that she'd think about it and get back to me, and then we went along our way. That night was even worse. The insomnia was even worse. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was so excited. What if she said yes? On the other hand, what if she said no? One of the reasons I didn't ask her out earlier was because of my earlier experiences with asking girls out which has built a resistance against making any moves on anybody I was interested until now, something that I had a tendency to get pissed at myself for. The next day, yesterday, she gave me my response after school. "I'm sorry, I still want to be friends." I felt terrible, and a lot of my friends felt for me too. I tried to get my mind off of it for a while. Playing video games and just chilling out in the dorms seemed to help. I even ate with her at dinner and we seemed generally chill with each other and not really awkward at all. Even more so later that night after some basketball games. Still didn't get a lot of sleep last night, guess it's just a habit now. We hung out a lot more today, and things seemed mostly fine. We both knew that things weren't perfectly fine, but I'm pretty sure I knew there would be something like this when I asked her, and she knew this would happen when she answered. All in all though we weren't really that awkward anymore. I went home right after school today, listened to some music, went on here for a bit, and then I started to get texts from her. At first it was just a few questions about how long I've wanted to ask her out, who I told about it, stuff like that. But as the conversation developed I discovered that some of the people who "felt for me" were even taking this harder than me. Some people were pissed at her for saying no and I guess talked to her about how she "broke my heart". I told her to just ignore them, but as the conversation still progressed. She continued to apologize and talk about how she felt really bad about what she did. She said she was crying as she texted me. I tried to comfort her through this, and I started to get more upset than I've been at any point during this week. I felt terrible for putting her through this, and I got really pissed at the people who got angry at her. *EDIT: THE TEXT THAT USED TO BE HERE IS NOW MEANINGLESS. IT IS NOW RESOLVED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS SECTION OF TEXT.* She hasn't responded so far in the past half hour. I feel like this is partially my fault because I was one of the people who put her through all this and I really wish I stayed up at school this weekend so I could talk to her face to face about this. tl;dr: I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm pissed at myself, I'm especially pissed at others, and I have awful timing. even more tl;dr: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Last edited by Panfan; 01-15-2010 at 10:11 PM.

01-15-2010, 09:32 PM	#2
chibimod3 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: The bottom of a Dr. Pepper bottle Gender: Posts: 497 Thanks: 52 Thanked 18 Times in 16 Posts	Well my piece of advice is that it could always be worse. I mean she could have gotten angry rather than sad at this fact of people blaming her. Then things would be worse off then they are now. And she didn't give you a disgusted answer like, he** no or I wouldn't be caught dead with you. So you still have a shot. Keep trying.

01-15-2010, 10:10 PM	#3
Panfan AND HE PRAYS Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Grayskull Gender: Posts: 18,806 Thanks: 1,405 Thanked 2,251 Times in 1,339 Posts Blog Entries: 15	Well I should've said "screw it I'm going to bed" instead of posting this. Because right as I did that about ten minutes ago, she replied saying whatever went down earlier was resolved by her and the other people involved, and that she was feeling a lot better, which made me feel a lot better. Got rid of text because she doesn't really want people to know what happened, and as you know there are people on this site that know the people involved (sorry ml) Still feel completely awful though. Just less awful than before.