My friend's state of being is crushed

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · 02-25-2010, 06:28 PM

I have a friend. I've probably known him for almost a year, I guess. He had some mental conditions but I always thought that, aside from being quirky and sometimes a blabbermouth, he was mostly normal. We had quite a bit in common.

Of course, I'm no doctor so maybe it was more than "some" mental problems. Eventually, after he got his own place, he apparently couldn't handle being alone one the first night and had some kind of break down. He went to a mental hospital for the duration of the time he'd been gone and I didn't see him for months until today. He came up to me and said hello normally as ever, but I quickly noticed he was different.

For one, he had a worker with him who treated him as if he were helpless and spoke down to to him in that incessantly monotone voice I despise; you know, the way you'd speak to a child. And another thing, it was obvious that he was doped up on a lot of powerful prescription medication. I know it works for some people but the trade off here is his personality, so I think they're taking the easy way out and just cramming pills into his mouth.

Anyway, I feel really bad for him and there's nothing I can do. I'll just pretend everything is normal I suppose...

Does anybody else have a similar situation, and how did you deal with it?

FlipSwitch · 02-25-2010, 06:36 PM

I don't have a friend with a mental issue, but there are some kids in the school I go to that have mental issues.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 02-25-2010, 10:16 PM

Are you able to speak to his family about your concerns? Many mental health issues show a lot of improvement with therapy, but that can be both more expensive, and for the best results require a loving, supportive enviroment from friends and family.

At the same time, I knew someone who had to be on medication for over twenty years (following an addiction), and he was always really spaced out and would fall asleep on the couch and such. I guess my point here is that he still had a life, and it was better than before, though it was still pretty awful from the outside.

Honestly, if you felt strongly about it, you could have a word to his minder. Just say that you find it offensive that they speak to your friend in a way you feel is degrading.

And for the record, the way people speak to kids, when they are actually speaking to children, is pretty disgusting as well. But that's a whole other story.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · 02-25-2010, 10:59 PM

His family isn't heavily involved in his life and he said I'm his only friend, so aside from specialists, there's nobody to talk to.

I'm not sure they mean to be degrade him, I'm not sure how to explain it... =/

Anyway, thanks.

FlipSwitch · 02-26-2010, 06:17 AM

The reason people with mental issues don't have many friends is because... oh, how shall I put it... not like us.

The Flattest Pancake · 02-26-2010, 07:59 AM

(looks at bro)

Wow man, why must you be so cruel.

Man, IRHP, hopefully your friend can be cured...if it's curable.

Random User · 02-26-2010, 07:07 PM

Best of luck to your friend. Perhaps introduce him to some of your other friends?

CuccoLady · 02-26-2010, 08:17 PM

Well it sounds like you've been supportive for him through this, so at least he has you he can count on.

I don't know what to give in the way of advice, but I think the best way to start is just doing what you've been doing and standing by him.

***Cosmonautical*** · 02-28-2010, 07:04 AM

It's really a failing of the general medical community that it will typically respond to mental illness by enabling it, unintentionally. Best of wishes to your buddy. Try and keep in mind that the majority of people aren't without disfunctions, so much as they're just not unstable.

02-25-2010, 06:28 PM	#1
I REALLY HATE POKEMON! Goku lives on the Sun Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: California, U.S.A Gender: Posts: 12,717 Thanks: 1,334 Thanked 275 Times in 234 Posts Blog Entries: 1	My friend's state of being is crushed I have a friend. I've probably known him for almost a year, I guess. He had some mental conditions but I always thought that, aside from being quirky and sometimes a blabbermouth, he was mostly normal. We had quite a bit in common. Of course, I'm no doctor so maybe it was more than "some" mental problems. Eventually, after he got his own place, he apparently couldn't handle being alone one the first night and had some kind of break down. He went to a mental hospital for the duration of the time he'd been gone and I didn't see him for months until today. He came up to me and said hello normally as ever, but I quickly noticed he was different. For one, he had a worker with him who treated him as if he were helpless and spoke down to to him in that incessantly monotone voice I despise; you know, the way you'd speak to a child. And another thing, it was obvious that he was doped up on a lot of powerful prescription medication. I know it works for some people but the trade off here is his personality, so I think they're taking the easy way out and just cramming pills into his mouth. Anyway, I feel really bad for him and there's nothing I can do. I'll just pretend everything is normal I suppose... Does anybody else have a similar situation, and how did you deal with it?

02-25-2010, 06:36 PM	#2
FlipSwitch Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Looking forward. Gender: Posts: 1,432 Thanks: 20 Thanked 21 Times in 18 Posts Blog Entries: 12	I don't have a friend with a mental issue, but there are some kids in the school I go to that have mental issues.

02-25-2010, 10:16 PM	#3
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Are you able to speak to his family about your concerns? Many mental health issues show a lot of improvement with therapy, but that can be both more expensive, and for the best results require a loving, supportive enviroment from friends and family. At the same time, I knew someone who had to be on medication for over twenty years (following an addiction), and he was always really spaced out and would fall asleep on the couch and such. I guess my point here is that he still had a life, and it was better than before, though it was still pretty awful from the outside. Honestly, if you felt strongly about it, you could have a word to his minder. Just say that you find it offensive that they speak to your friend in a way you feel is degrading. And for the record, the way people speak to kids, when they are actually speaking to children, is pretty disgusting as well. But that's a whole other story.

02-25-2010, 10:59 PM	#4
I REALLY HATE POKEMON! Goku lives on the Sun Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: California, U.S.A Gender: Posts: 12,717 Thanks: 1,334 Thanked 275 Times in 234 Posts Blog Entries: 1	His family isn't heavily involved in his life and he said I'm his only friend, so aside from specialists, there's nobody to talk to. I'm not sure they mean to be degrade him, I'm not sure how to explain it... =/ Anyway, thanks.

02-26-2010, 06:17 AM	#5
FlipSwitch Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Looking forward. Gender: Posts: 1,432 Thanks: 20 Thanked 21 Times in 18 Posts Blog Entries: 12	The reason people with mental issues don't have many friends is because... oh, how shall I put it... not like us.

02-26-2010, 07:59 AM	#6
The Flattest Pancake Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: (insert something witty here) Gender: Posts: 1,391 Thanks: 97 Thanked 25 Times in 23 Posts Blog Entries: 8	(looks at bro) Wow man, why must you be so cruel. Man, IRHP, hopefully your friend can be cured...if it's curable.

02-26-2010, 07:07 PM	#7
Random User Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Equestrian Republic of Spanglidesh Gender: Posts: 3,562 Thanks: 321 Thanked 195 Times in 143 Posts Blog Entries: 4	Best of luck to your friend. Perhaps introduce him to some of your other friends?

02-26-2010, 08:17 PM	#8
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 9,077 Thanks: 2,825 Thanked 1,222 Times in 822 Posts	Well it sounds like you've been supportive for him through this, so at least he has you he can count on. I don't know what to give in the way of advice, but I think the best way to start is just doing what you've been doing and standing by him.

02-28-2010, 07:04 AM	#9
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,102 Thanks: 2,157 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	It's really a failing of the general medical community that it will typically respond to mental illness by enabling it, unintentionally. Best of wishes to your buddy. Try and keep in mind that the majority of people aren't without disfunctions, so much as they're just not unstable.