The Treatment of Atheist

[The Spark]

On several occasions, when the subject of me being Atheist is brought up around my "best friend", he always succeeds in blurting out "that's sad", and really meaning it. This...just angers me to such a great extremity that my fists automatically begin to clench and I feel like punching him. Who is he to say that what I believe, or lack in believing, is "sad"? Next time he says it, depending on my mood, I'm either going to find a way to make him discontinue ever saying that again in a very blatant and rather mean way, or just stop being his friend. Him even implying that it's "sad" is completely disrespectful and totally closed-minded.

Just wanted to get that out..

Oh and I meant for the title to be "The Treatment Towards Atheism". My bad

[Robotazy]

Punch him in the face in such a way that he'll go flying into a trashcan.

[Ace Mercury]

I think it's the same sort of sensation that I get when someone says that games aren't an artform. It's an irrational feeling though; the statement doesn't actually affect me one way or the other. However, saying things like that indicates a severe lack of understanding of other's viewpoints, a willful ignorance which cannot be talked over.

It's especially irritating when it comes to religion (and politics, etc.), as there's also the incredible hypocrisy which surrounds most of its members. Some people wear it like ablative armour. To admit to hypocrisy would be tantamount to renouncing their faith and a huge chunk of their self-image, so they shroud themselves.

I have just realized that this post has turned very sour. =/

[Kil'jaeden]

Well, in your friend's mind and other people that think like that, you are committing an unforigvable sin and are doomed to suffer horrible tortures for eternity after you die. So of course he says it's sad. But, at least you don't have to worry about being burned at the stake.

[SephirothKirby]

It is rather unfortunate, I live in eastern Texas, so if it is brought up in any context, I am immediately outcast.

I have eventually gotten to the point where I just tell people I'm Baptist :/

[Deku Trii]

Differing religious beliefs are tricky between friends. You tend to think your friend would be better off if they just believed what you do, and you tend to care enough to say so even if it sounds insulting.

Here's hoping you and your friend can come to a respectful understanding.

[Booyakasha]

I'm sure you know best, but I don't think he's trying to offend you. Sounds more like he's concerned on your behalf---kind of a ham-fisted way of showing it, but at least his heart is kind of in the right place.

I'd counsel the direct approach---tell him that, while you appreciate the sentiment behind his comments, you still consider them insensitive, and then ask him to stop. Be assertive yet respectful---it's possible the guy doesn't even know that he's bothering you.

[Valigarmander]

I guess I'm lucky I live in western Oregon.

Dealing with religious (or nonreligious) differences with friends can be tricky, but getting angry or aggressive won't help. I'd say go with what Boo said in situations like that.

Nowadays a bit less than half of the US population claims they'd elect an atheist president. 50 years ago it was that way with a black president, so by that logic in 50 years we'll have an atheist agnostic in office.

[CuccoLady]

Agreeing with Boo and Val here; most of the time, when someone believes in a religion and the hear that someone else is a non-believer and then comment on this, it's because they believe that the other person is either going to be punished [think hell, and the like] or is living an unenlightened, sinful life and they want to help that person.

That said, each individual's spiritual beliefs are his or her own opinion and other people don't have business telling you what to believe, but generally there are good intentions behind being closed-minded.

So yeah, long story short, talk to him because he probably doesn't think he's doing anything wrong, even though you are completely irritated by his comments.

[Ace Mercury]

It's hard not to read spite and haughtiness in the "that's sad" comment, though. I understand proselytizing is part of Christianity (and assuming that guy is Christian), but saying "that's sad" is a cheap shot. It's saying "I'm a member of an exclusive group of cool people, and you aren't, so I pity you." It's unlikely he's being mean on purpose, though; it could be an automatic response defending his own beliefs. Had he known how incensed you are, maybe he wouldn't have said it.

I agree that violence and bickering is not a good solution. I suggest avoid leading conversation to that subject, or faking a response. (There's a precident for faking one's beliefs: “We Pretend We Are Christians” - Freakonomics Blog - NYTimes.com ) I understand there's a moral argument against misrepresenting your beliefs, but the option does exist.

[Booyakasha]

Suppose it depends on how he's saying it, too. Like, I can see being annoyed if he's saying it in a snotty, condescending way (read: 'sad' used as a synonym for 'pathetic'), but not as much if he's more just saying he feels sorry for you.

[Cosmonautical]

Depends on how it comes up. I mean, if you're bringing up the subject to rant to him, the onus is on you. If he's bringing it up, then the onus is on him.

Really, though, and I mean this in probably the douchiest way possible: it doesn't help if you're too immature of mind to argue effectively. Single number one argument for this situation is the "leap of faith" - can't believe without it, doesn't make any rational sense - so you can't believe it if you don't already. The belief is what necessitates the belief, there's really no reason to believe it unless you think it's necessary, and you can't think it's necessary unless you believe.

Hell, you want to talk about sad religious beliefs, what's sad are the Witnesses. Women aren't even allowed in their paradise. Talk about a sausage party. 30,000 dudes that want into that place are not my idea of fun.

[Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds]

Like, how frequently can this even come up? Do people randomly trot around demanding to know the religion of others in your parts, or what?

Regardless, tell him it bothers you instead of silently fuming at him. Talk to him about it when you're NOT already angry, too. If he's meant to be your friend, choose a moment to say, "I'm comfortable in my beliefs, please stop saying it's sad that I don't share your faith".

[Valigarmander]

Originally Posted by Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds

Like, how frequently can this even come up? Do people randomly trot around demanding to know the religion of others in your parts, or what?

Welcome to AMURRICKA.

[Metal Man]

I don't have too much trouble with this, mostly when they say it is sad or something, I begin a long winded discussion on how science impacts my beliefs and how I've read through the bible and if I have a bible on me perhaps quoting particular passages I don't agree with and then mentioning the Crusades and and...

...In general I go on one of those go-nowhere stories, so that they forget what they were surprised about, and yet at the same time, don't feel that I am insulting their beliefs, but rather, am some sort of boring history professor.

[The Spark]

I have read the comments, and here is my conclusion:

First, before posting this thread, the second time he said it I told him that it offended me greatly, and yet he continues to say it. (I probably should've added this, but i guess people tend to leave out details when they're venting). Also, people do sometimes ask others what religion the people around them are, but the reason probably everyone in my grade knows that I'm atheist is because I used to be Christian and attend a group called Awanas, where many of my peers also used to go to, and when i stopped going they asked me why, which was followed by me responding with the fact that I am indeed a non-believer. However, the only people who have actually said it was "sad" or showed that they thought what i am doing by being atheist is wrong are my friend and two people that happened to be around him that he's also really close friends with that decided to agree with him.

I wouldn't actually resort to violence if he repeats it again, however I will give him quite the verbal lashing if you know what i mean, although professionally so that he still respects me.
Oh, and yes- he is Christian. An extremely hefty majority of the people in my community are either Christian or Mormon. I think I'm the only atheist in my school.

[Metal Man]

Well, I'm also one of a few atheists, but as noted earlier, I wind up... confusing most people who try to change my mind, as I respond to their 'become Christian' plattitudes with quotes from the Bible.

It's sort of awkward, really. "Become Christian!" "Paul doesn't believe in uniqueness and believes in the destruction of all enemies to Christendom; I don't believe in that. While his views are not parroted directly by people of your faction, I cannot reconcile myself with being on the same team as him." "Become Jewish!" "I don't believe in a God who demands genocide of other peoples."

No offense to anyone's religion intended, of course, as I feel everyone should believe what they wish, as long as it doesn't involve killing people.

[CaptHayfever]

Not to start getting philosophical, but if you're trying to find a major worldview that has no adherents with whom you wouldn't want to be associated...you're going to be looking for a very, VERY long time.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Dylan]

Uli Metal Man doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.

[Metal Man]

Originally Posted by CaptHayfever

Not to start getting philosophical, but if you're trying to find a major worldview that has no adherents with whom you wouldn't want to be associated...you're going to be looking for a very, VERY long time.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

True.

Generally it's the founding members/people featured in their main literature/canon who determine it for me. Otherwise I'd have no choice, since there's always a maniac lurking behind each philosophy, theoretically.

As for nihilism, that would be a bit more extreme than what I believe in.