I don't know what to do

Rainbow Dash · 08-18-2010, 05:59 PM

I just moved in to my dorm at college. I've had a lot of misgivings about actually going out of town and moving away from home. My parents say it will be a good experience but I'm already a wreck and I don't know how I'm going to be able to make it before the first chance I can take to be at home. There's nobody in close proximity I feel I can share my feelings with. I'm used to being able to just relax at home knowing my parents are close at hand. I've always taken that for granted I guess.

I sit here at my laptop wondering what I should be doing. Classes don't start until next Monday and there a lot of stupid/marginally entertaining activities that will be going on starting tomorrow and ending Saturday. I don't feel like doing anything. I feel worthless and unable to talk to my parents constantly because I already put them through this at the end of February when I went alone on a trip to Washington DC and was there for a week. I ended up crying and sad and feeling alone even when surrounded by twenty or so people at the thing I was at. I couldn't believe how dependent I was on living at home and relying on my parents to be there as a simple presence and somebody to easily talk to.

I don't want to end up acting like this through my whole time at college but I can't help it. I called my parents earlier only two hours after they had left from helping me move in. I wanted to just cry and talk about how I don't know what to do to them but I ended up unable to do that and unable to truly tell them what I was feeling. I don't know if it was simply because it had only been two hours or what.

I just want to go home. I don't want to be at college. Or at least, not one that's three hours from where I live. Maybe attending a community college at home for a year or two would have been better. Maybe even just skipping a year of school to let myself take a break after high school. Anything.

I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my dog. All within two hours of getting moved in.

The Spark · 08-18-2010, 06:03 PM

You'll get used to it eventually, just talk to them 2-3 times a day and visit them as regularly as you can until you feel more comfortable with your situation. Homesickness is terrible, and it probably won't fully go away, but it'll lessen and you'll be able to cope with not seeing that all the time like you used to. Just give it time, as hard as that may be.

***Ace Mercury*** · 08-18-2010, 06:49 PM

I remember those liminal periods of time between school and vacation. Your parents just left. Your housemates aren't here yet. It's just you, a few of your possessions that you moved in with, and a deep-seated butterflies in your abdomen. The walls echo; that's how empty your room is.

Those moments pass. Once I was taking classes, those empty feelings went away. Maybe use this time to really reflect on it? Feeling bad is okay; it isn't necessarily something you need to fix. The human condition is a subtle mix of heady emotions that you might savour later on. Or you can ignore it and play some games. Perhaps I'm not a good authority to recommend things. =/

User Name · 08-18-2010, 06:55 PM

Once you get into the flow of college, all of those anxieties will pass. You'll be too busy making friends, going to class, and doing homework to miss them terribly. A few weekends home too will do the trick.

heh · 08-18-2010, 08:24 PM

chunky before i went to college i was pretty antisocial and i was scared as **** but i adapted in like a month

i advise you to go to one of those events, even if you don't make any friends it will help just meeting friendly people (if there are literally no friendly people you are at Bad College and it will suck regardless(go somewhere else))

also my college is ten hours away, so i pretty much can't see my parents except during breaks and i still get along fine, if you are only 3 hours away you have the option of actually going home for a weekend or something if it is to much for you. the distance is not really that far

***CaptHayfever*** · 08-18-2010, 11:56 PM

Absolutely go to some of the events. If there's anything on that list you might even be remotely interested in, go to it. It alleviates boredom, you meet your housemates & fellow freshmen, & you get more familiar with the campus & some of the staff. Those are actually the exact reasons for the events.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

***Cosmonautical*** · 08-19-2010, 12:03 AM

This is actually part of that good experience your parents told you that you would have. They weren't saying that it would be enjoyable, they were saying that you should learn to deal with being by yourself so you can be comfortable in your independence.

Feeling like you have to rely on yourself is a part of adulthood. This is one of the reasons why people seek out relationships, so they have someone they love to share their life with as they choose. It's another reason why teenagers aren't as prepared as they think they are for life and love, because many aren't aware of how integral the two are to eachother.

Mostly, though, it's just learning to live without the same comforts you and your parents surrounded yourself with. You can step out of your comfort zone and learn to live with changes. I criticize Americans and western society in general because the young are not given enough opportunity to familiarize themselves with independence and change. You can't change the past, though, so I hope you can make the most of it and learn to enjoy doing something just for yourself.

I suggest you consider expanding your horizons and trying out new hobbies, because we're all trapped in ourselves for the long haul and you might as well have something you can do that you enjoy, even when no one's around. Your parents are only 3 hours away. Mine are over a day's worth of flights away - and trust me, I felt like I might never see my family ever again when I set foot on that first plane. But you can see home soon. There's time in the future to visit. It's not going to disappear off the face of the earth just because you left, and as much as things change while you're gone, they really don't change too much.

Bomby · 08-19-2010, 02:02 AM

Believe me, once you get settled into things, you'll never want to leave college. Like me. I don't want college to ever be finished... and I'm supposed to graduate on Sunday... -_-' Oh, life.

08-18-2010, 05:59 PM	#1
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,402 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	I don't know what to do I just moved in to my dorm at college. I've had a lot of misgivings about actually going out of town and moving away from home. My parents say it will be a good experience but I'm already a wreck and I don't know how I'm going to be able to make it before the first chance I can take to be at home. There's nobody in close proximity I feel I can share my feelings with. I'm used to being able to just relax at home knowing my parents are close at hand. I've always taken that for granted I guess. I sit here at my laptop wondering what I should be doing. Classes don't start until next Monday and there a lot of stupid/marginally entertaining activities that will be going on starting tomorrow and ending Saturday. I don't feel like doing anything. I feel worthless and unable to talk to my parents constantly because I already put them through this at the end of February when I went alone on a trip to Washington DC and was there for a week. I ended up crying and sad and feeling alone even when surrounded by twenty or so people at the thing I was at. I couldn't believe how dependent I was on living at home and relying on my parents to be there as a simple presence and somebody to easily talk to. I don't want to end up acting like this through my whole time at college but I can't help it. I called my parents earlier only two hours after they had left from helping me move in. I wanted to just cry and talk about how I don't know what to do to them but I ended up unable to do that and unable to truly tell them what I was feeling. I don't know if it was simply because it had only been two hours or what. I just want to go home. I don't want to be at college. Or at least, not one that's three hours from where I live. Maybe attending a community college at home for a year or two would have been better. Maybe even just skipping a year of school to let myself take a break after high school. Anything. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my dog. All within two hours of getting moved in.

08-19-2010, 12:03 AM	#7
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,102 Thanks: 2,157 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	This is actually part of that good experience your parents told you that you would have. They weren't saying that it would be enjoyable, they were saying that you should learn to deal with being by yourself so you can be comfortable in your independence. Feeling like you have to rely on yourself is a part of adulthood. This is one of the reasons why people seek out relationships, so they have someone they love to share their life with as they choose. It's another reason why teenagers aren't as prepared as they think they are for life and love, because many aren't aware of how integral the two are to eachother. Mostly, though, it's just learning to live without the same comforts you and your parents surrounded yourself with. You can step out of your comfort zone and learn to live with changes. I criticize Americans and western society in general because the young are not given enough opportunity to familiarize themselves with independence and change. You can't change the past, though, so I hope you can make the most of it and learn to enjoy doing something just for yourself. I suggest you consider expanding your horizons and trying out new hobbies, because we're all trapped in ourselves for the long haul and you might as well have something you can do that you enjoy, even when no one's around. Your parents are only 3 hours away. Mine are over a day's worth of flights away - and trust me, I felt like I might never see my family ever again when I set foot on that first plane. But you can see home soon. There's time in the future to visit. It's not going to disappear off the face of the earth just because you left, and as much as things change while you're gone, they really don't change too much. Last edited by Cosmonautical; 08-19-2010 at 12:13 AM.

08-18-2010, 06:03 PM	#2
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	You'll get used to it eventually, just talk to them 2-3 times a day and visit them as regularly as you can until you feel more comfortable with your situation. Homesickness is terrible, and it probably won't fully go away, but it'll lessen and you'll be able to cope with not seeing that all the time like you used to. Just give it time, as hard as that may be.

08-18-2010, 06:49 PM	#3
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,275 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	I remember those liminal periods of time between school and vacation. Your parents just left. Your housemates aren't here yet. It's just you, a few of your possessions that you moved in with, and a deep-seated butterflies in your abdomen. The walls echo; that's how empty your room is. Those moments pass. Once I was taking classes, those empty feelings went away. Maybe use this time to really reflect on it? Feeling bad is okay; it isn't necessarily something you need to fix. The human condition is a subtle mix of heady emotions that you might savour later on. Or you can ignore it and play some games. Perhaps I'm not a good authority to recommend things. =/

08-18-2010, 06:55 PM	#4
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham City Gender: Posts: 7,209 Thanks: 701 Thanked 536 Times in 367 Posts	Once you get into the flow of college, all of those anxieties will pass. You'll be too busy making friends, going to class, and doing homework to miss them terribly. A few weekends home too will do the trick.

08-18-2010, 08:24 PM	#5
heh Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: lo-ca-tion; Noun- 1. a place or situation occupied: That house is in a fine location Gender: Posts: 9,849 Thanks: 710 Thanked 955 Times in 628 Posts	chunky before i went to college i was pretty antisocial and i was scared as **** but i adapted in like a month i advise you to go to one of those events, even if you don't make any friends it will help just meeting friendly people (if there are literally no friendly people you are at Bad College and it will suck regardless(go somewhere else)) also my college is ten hours away, so i pretty much can't see my parents except during breaks and i still get along fine, if you are only 3 hours away you have the option of actually going home for a weekend or something if it is to much for you. the distance is not really that far

08-18-2010, 11:56 PM	#6
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,661 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	Absolutely go to some of the events. If there's anything on that list you might even be remotely interested in, go to it. It alleviates boredom, you meet your housemates & fellow freshmen, & you get more familiar with the campus & some of the staff. Those are actually the exact reasons for the events. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

08-19-2010, 02:02 AM	#8
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Believe me, once you get settled into things, you'll never want to leave college. Like me. I don't want college to ever be finished... and I'm supposed to graduate on Sunday... -_-' Oh, life.