She's dead

Vgfian · 03-15-2011, 09:18 PM

one of my best friends died while I was gone.
I found out her last message to me was on a thursday.
I could have talked.
I could have gone to thhe library in the city with my sister's computer when I stopped by my school. It's only open on Mndays and Thursdays.
I could have said something
the last thing she told me was she was in the hospital, that I was amazing, and she thanked me..

Im in tears now.

I should have been there.
I wasnt.

**Crazyswordsman** · 03-15-2011, 10:53 PM

I'm so sorry this had to happen. I can only imagine what you could be going through. -CSM

SephirothKirby · 03-15-2011, 11:04 PM

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry. That must be truly painful.

I know my words can't make it better. But you'll overcome.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 03-16-2011, 12:19 AM

You can't be there all the time; there will always be times when you have to be doing something else, be somewhere else. You're only human. *hugs* It's okay to be upset. Just try to remember that you're not superman. You can't change the limitations of reality.

If you need to talk, you're always welcome to email me. *hugs*

CuccoLady · 03-16-2011, 12:48 AM

*ultra hugs*

I am so sorry to hear this. If you need anything, I'm always open for a chat-- even if you only need an ear to listen. We're all here for you.

The last thing she did was thank you, though. It means that, throughout her life, you WERE there for her. It's alright to be upset, but like SD said, you can't always be there.. but her last words are solid proof that you WERE there for her.

Try to keep your chin up.

-more hugs-

Jere · 03-16-2011, 02:39 AM

****, that's rough man.

And I can imagine that you feel chewed, spitted out and stomped on.

Take your time, remember the good memories and maybe you should make sure her family are all right.

Yes you wasn't able to be there but how could you know, life have a tendency to throw **** in the face of good to decent people (the biggest A-holes tends to get out scot free).

But you are a good guy Guildfan she told you that, and you have to remember that, you wasn't able to get a important message before it was to late, this time a really important message.

Don't feel guilty, isn't it enough with mourning a loss of a friend?

And if you need someone to talk to you have a bunch of great guys here that are willing to listen don't forget that either.

...*hugs*

***Heroine of the Dragon*** · 03-16-2011, 02:56 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, Guild!!! Words are nearly always inadequate to express condolences. *hugs*

You know, you may have felt you weren't there for your friend but maybe your friend didn't feel the same way... after all, it certainly seems like your best friend felt your presence in her heart/soul and shared this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guildfian

...
the last thing she told me was she was in the hospital, that I was amazing, and she thanked me..
...

(emphasis by me)

Treasure the memories even though it may be difficult at first!! The process of grieving is different for everyone and only you will know when you can smile at the world again when you think of your friend and it not wrench at your heart.

***Cosmonautical*** · 03-16-2011, 07:12 AM

I was there when my best friend died at 20, and it didn't make it any better. Don't beat yourself up for it.

And it's okay to be angry, but don't direct it at yourself. You would've been there if you knew, and I'm sure you were there for the times that count. That's how you get a friend.

Take care man, and don't be afraid to pm me if you need a chat.

**Valigarmander** · 03-16-2011, 08:12 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, bro. Don't take it out on yourself for not spending more time with her than you did, because it sounds like you still brought her happiness at the end of her life. That last message she sent you is something very special.

Death is a difficult part of life, but beating yourself up and wishing things could've gone differently won't change anything. The best thing you can do is to not get upset over what could've been, but to be happy for what was, and cherish the time you got to spend with her. As cliched as it may sound, I'm sure your friend would want it that way.

MeowMan · 03-16-2011, 03:41 PM

This thread makes me sad. I'm so sorry for you.

Random User · 03-16-2011, 07:12 PM

I'm really sorry for your loss, Guildfian.

I can't really say more than what everyone else has, but your friend's message to you would tell me that you were there for her when she needed you. Try not to beat yourself up too bad, I remember going through the same kind of thing. It's not easy. I hope you feel better soon, and I'm open for PC if you ever need to talk.

Sim Kid · 03-17-2011, 01:34 AM

Damn, there's nothing I can say. :/ Other than that I'm glad she told you how awesome you were and how she thanked you. That just makes me feel happy there.

**Galefore** · 03-22-2011, 11:26 AM

Apologies for the late response. I'm super-sorry to hear this, Guild... Wish I could have been there to talk with you while it was happening, but I unfortunately wasn't around while you were back in town... My sincerest condolences. There isn't anything I could really add that hasn't already been said, so just know I'm always here if you need to talk.

Vgfian · 04-10-2011, 11:03 AM

Thhanks you all for the words.. I really appreciate them.. ^_^

The night before she died she left a message with her bf to give me because she felt the end was near.. She thaked me for legitimately caring for her.. I just now found out it seems her facebook has been deleted...

That makes me very sad..

Aside from that, when I messaged her bf, he told me she died of bulemia nervosa.. (sp?)

She was having seizures and so on, and when she had to be put on a feeding tube her body rejected it and she vomitted it back up..

I don't know what i tmeans to some of you, but one big thing that affected me was that she died an atheist.. I had been planning to finish off a talk we had had about God when I got back online.. but um.. yeah.. so I feel extra responsible for that reason..

I had a dream about her the night she died though that gave me some hope.. but umm.. yeah.. idk...

*hugs SD*

*ultra hugs CL*

*...hugs Jere*

*hugs HotD*

Thanks you all again.

..

Jere · 04-10-2011, 01:21 PM

That's what we (partly) are here for.

Im allso here for sandwiches and hot tamales!

***Marilink*** · 04-10-2011, 03:23 PM

Really sorry to hear it, buddy. Death is never easy, especially when it's a good friend and if it's unexpected.

Don't beat yourself up though. Like SD said, you can't always be there. She was your friend and she loved you, she wouldn't have held it against you because you weren't there.

Vgfian · 05-26-2011, 11:34 AM

So I checked formspring. I saw my (dead?) friend's answer to a question I had their and never clicked her name for memories and pain and so on. Well, I clicked it and my whole everythinng flipped upside down..

Her account was still answering uestions. And answering them the same way she would and with the right details..
only it had a separate name from her other online one..

So now it's either she's aalive and had tons of people lie to me about her death, or she's dead and somebody is on her Formspring imitating her very well.

I also checked her contacts on formspring, and there was her sister in there... just with a separate name... Im so confused and I dont know what to do or say. I checked the formspring's link to her other facebook that I was never added to, the one that she used more publically I believe since she referred to the one she added me to as her more private one... and it had new pictures and had her listed as going to the college she had said she was rejected from a couple weeks before she died...

I'm so confused and sad and depressed and in tears and have been grieving and now this turns up..and I don't know what to make of it. :'(

1-up Salesman · 05-26-2011, 11:53 AM

That's ****ed up. Call her and get to the bottom of it.

Vgfian · 05-26-2011, 02:44 PM

I dnt have it. I thought she died in February. (She may have; I don't know) I messaged her sister asking about it... I dont expect a reply anytime soon... :/

1-up Salesman · 05-26-2011, 04:37 PM

She was/is your friend. Get the to ****ing bottom of it because that's what friends do.

Good luck, man.

03-15-2011, 09:18 PM	#1
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	She's dead one of my best friends died while I was gone. I found out her last message to me was on a thursday. I could have talked. I could have gone to thhe library in the city with my sister's computer when I stopped by my school. It's only open on Mndays and Thursdays. I could have said something the last thing she told me was she was in the hospital, that I was amazing, and she thanked me.. Im in tears now. I should have been there. I wasnt.

04-10-2011, 11:03 AM	#14
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	Thhanks you all for the words.. I really appreciate them.. ^_^ The night before she died she left a message with her bf to give me because she felt the end was near.. She thaked me for legitimately caring for her.. I just now found out it seems her facebook has been deleted... That makes me very sad.. Aside from that, when I messaged her bf, he told me she died of bulemia nervosa.. (sp?) She was having seizures and so on, and when she had to be put on a feeding tube her body rejected it and she vomitted it back up.. I don't know what i tmeans to some of you, but one big thing that affected me was that she died an atheist.. I had been planning to finish off a talk we had had about God when I got back online.. but um.. yeah.. so I feel extra responsible for that reason.. I had a dream about her the night she died though that gave me some hope.. but umm.. yeah.. idk... hugs SD ultra hugs CL ...hugs Jere hugs HotD Thanks you all again. .. Last edited by Vgfian; 04-10-2011 at 11:03 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

03-15-2011, 10:53 PM	#2
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	I'm so sorry this had to happen. I can only imagine what you could be going through. -CSM

03-15-2011, 11:04 PM	#3
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. Gender: Posts: 7,213 Thanks: 373 Thanked 760 Times in 447 Posts	Oh, God. I'm so sorry. That must be truly painful. I know my words can't make it better. But you'll overcome.

03-16-2011, 12:19 AM	#4
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	You can't be there all the time; there will always be times when you have to be doing something else, be somewhere else. You're only human. hugs It's okay to be upset. Just try to remember that you're not superman. You can't change the limitations of reality. If you need to talk, you're always welcome to email me. hugs

03-16-2011, 12:48 AM	#5
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 9,077 Thanks: 2,825 Thanked 1,222 Times in 822 Posts	ultra hugs I am so sorry to hear this. If you need anything, I'm always open for a chat-- even if you only need an ear to listen. We're all here for you. The last thing she did was thank you, though. It means that, throughout her life, you WERE there for her. It's alright to be upset, but like SD said, you can't always be there.. but her last words are solid proof that you WERE there for her. Try to keep your chin up. -more hugs-

03-16-2011, 02:39 AM	#6
Jere Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sutme Gender: Posts: 3,650 Thanks: 404 Thanked 331 Times in 256 Posts Blog Entries: 3	**, that's rough man. And I can imagine that you feel chewed, spitted out and stomped on. Take your time, remember the good memories and maybe you should make sure her family are all right. Yes you wasn't able to be there but how could you know, life have a tendency to throw ** in the face of good to decent people (the biggest A-holes tends to get out scot free). But you are a good guy Guildfan she told you that, and you have to remember that, you wasn't able to get a important message before it was to late, this time a really important message. Don't feel guilty, isn't it enough with mourning a loss of a friend? And if you need someone to talk to you have a bunch of great guys here that are willing to listen don't forget that either. ...hugs

03-16-2011, 07:12 AM	#8
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,102 Thanks: 2,157 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	I was there when my best friend died at 20, and it didn't make it any better. Don't beat yourself up for it. And it's okay to be angry, but don't direct it at yourself. You would've been there if you knew, and I'm sure you were there for the times that count. That's how you get a friend. Take care man, and don't be afraid to pm me if you need a chat.

03-16-2011, 08:12 AM	#9
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,701 Times in 2,581 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I'm sorry to hear that, bro. Don't take it out on yourself for not spending more time with her than you did, because it sounds like you still brought her happiness at the end of her life. That last message she sent you is something very special. Death is a difficult part of life, but beating yourself up and wishing things could've gone differently won't change anything. The best thing you can do is to not get upset over what could've been, but to be happy for what was, and cherish the time you got to spend with her. As cliched as it may sound, I'm sure your friend would want it that way.

03-16-2011, 03:41 PM	#10
MeowMan Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Las Pegasus Gender: Posts: 6,606 Thanks: 849 Thanked 208 Times in 132 Posts Blog Entries: 46	This thread makes me sad. I'm so sorry for you.

03-16-2011, 07:12 PM	#11
Random User Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Equestrian Republic of Spanglidesh Gender: Posts: 3,562 Thanks: 321 Thanked 195 Times in 143 Posts Blog Entries: 4	I'm really sorry for your loss, Guildfian. I can't really say more than what everyone else has, but your friend's message to you would tell me that you were there for her when she needed you. Try not to beat yourself up too bad, I remember going through the same kind of thing. It's not easy. I hope you feel better soon, and I'm open for PC if you ever need to talk.

03-17-2011, 01:34 AM	#12
Sim Kid Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The state of Denial Gender: Posts: 8,884 Thanks: 80 Thanked 198 Times in 122 Posts	Damn, there's nothing I can say. :/ Other than that I'm glad she told you how awesome you were and how she thanked you. That just makes me feel happy there.

03-22-2011, 11:26 AM	#13
Galefore EXPLOSION GOD OF MUSIC Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Some studio somewhere Gender: Posts: 8,275 Thanks: 1,361 Thanked 826 Times in 535 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Apologies for the late response. I'm super-sorry to hear this, Guild... Wish I could have been there to talk with you while it was happening, but I unfortunately wasn't around while you were back in town... My sincerest condolences. There isn't anything I could really add that hasn't already been said, so just know I'm always here if you need to talk.

04-10-2011, 01:21 PM	#15
Jere Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sutme Gender: Posts: 3,650 Thanks: 404 Thanked 331 Times in 256 Posts Blog Entries: 3	That's what we (partly) are here for. Im allso here for sandwiches and hot tamales!

04-10-2011, 03:23 PM	#16
*Marilink* Gotta catch 'em all! Supermod! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Location, Location. Gender: Posts: 29,118 Thanks: 2,535 Thanked 1,823 Times in 1,008 Posts	Really sorry to hear it, buddy. Death is never easy, especially when it's a good friend and if it's unexpected. Don't beat yourself up though. Like SD said, you can't always be there. She was your friend and she loved you, she wouldn't have held it against you because you weren't there.

05-26-2011, 11:34 AM	#17
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	So I checked formspring. I saw my (dead?) friend's answer to a question I had their and never clicked her name for memories and pain and so on. Well, I clicked it and my whole everythinng flipped upside down.. Her account was still answering uestions. And answering them the same way she would and with the right details.. only it had a separate name from her other online one.. So now it's either she's aalive and had tons of people lie to me about her death, or she's dead and somebody is on her Formspring imitating her very well. I also checked her contacts on formspring, and there was her sister in there... just with a separate name... Im so confused and I dont know what to do or say. I checked the formspring's link to her other facebook that I was never added to, the one that she used more publically I believe since she referred to the one she added me to as her more private one... and it had new pictures and had her listed as going to the college she had said she was rejected from a couple weeks before she died... I'm so confused and sad and depressed and in tears and have been grieving and now this turns up..and I don't know what to make of it. :'(

05-26-2011, 11:53 AM	#18
1-up Salesman Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Letting you guys know that I'm planning on continuing Attack of the Spammers soon. Gender: Posts: 4,095 Thanks: 2,162 Thanked 250 Times in 194 Posts Blog Entries: 9	That's ****ed up. Call her and get to the bottom of it.

05-26-2011, 02:44 PM	#19
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	I dnt have it. I thought she died in February. (She may have; I don't know) I messaged her sister asking about it... I dont expect a reply anytime soon... :/

05-26-2011, 04:37 PM	#20
1-up Salesman Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Letting you guys know that I'm planning on continuing Attack of the Spammers soon. Gender: Posts: 4,095 Thanks: 2,162 Thanked 250 Times in 194 Posts Blog Entries: 9	She was/is your friend. Get the to ****ing bottom of it because that's what friends do. Good luck, man.