Dizzy must vent.

Dizzy · 11-24-2011, 12:18 AM

Usually when I vent, I'm just looking for a second opinion on my hypochondria-induced disorder of the week. But now I post a problem I KNOW I have, and actually want a solution for.

I'm a very introverted person. In any social situation, I like to portray myself as being aloof, and exhibiting no flaws (as demonstrated by my somewhat eloquent dialogue). As such, I will generally avoid conversation, so as to not say anything that would warrant judgement (even if said judgement is purely imagined by myself). A particularly bad case is when I'm around my parents. I prefer keeping everything I can private, whereas they are naturally very curious and paranoid. In this instance, I must carefully moniter however much information I disclose to them. If I should happen to let something slip, I then refuse to continue the reveal, which leads to them believing I'm partaking in some sort of questionable activity, when really all it is is a hidden collection of artwork proving my dedication to a particular television program.

But this isn't even the thing that's troubling me. I'm just so afraid to be myself when other people are around. It leads me to the point of being depressed whenever anyone is in the house. The only time I can truly express myself with other people is on the internet. I don't want to be a complete extrovert (because honestly, I'm kind of a pervert when you get to know me), but I at least want to be able to tell people, "Hey, I like this show you don't watch". Anyway, whether or not this is a valid thing to vent about is up to you. I just needed to release some pent-up feelings here.

monstrman · 11-24-2011, 12:28 AM

THIS IS NOT A VALID THING TO VENT ABOUT.

OCTOPUSES.

THE DEFENSE RESTS.

And don't worry about it... I'm pretty much the same way. Especially with my parents I don't talk to them at all about anything.

And as far as the fear of being yourself when others are around... maybe that's something you should work on. It's okay to be you, and you shouldn't care whether that offends people/makes people not like you/ etc. I think you're a cool guy, and so will the rest of the world!

Kil'jaeden · 11-25-2011, 02:29 AM

[quote=Dizzy;1305040].....when really all it is is a hidden collection of artwork proving my dedication to a particular television program.QUOTE]

That's an interesting way to put it. But really, don't feel bad. No one would want to show their mother their large collection of full color futa furry tentacle porn. It's just one of those things. I know what you are talking about. I was like that, and I still am cold toward most people. Like being alone too. Though I don't know if you are shy or just don't want to disagree with people openly. I kinda like offending people, so that really isn't the problem.

As an exercise, I recommend striking up a conversation with some stranger in person. Like at and airport or on a bus, where they don't know you and will probably not see you again. Find a pretext and just throw out as many things as you like. They will either run away or respond in kind. Either way it's good practice.

***Cosmonautical*** · 11-25-2011, 05:05 AM

Ask people about themselves and their interests so you have something to talk about, and learn how to appeal to them. It's the easiest way to be comfortable around others, because it's always a pleasant surprise when you show interest in others. Your dad made a decision about something important recently? If his "why" interests you at all, ask about his thoughts on the matter with the explanation that you'd like to know why he makes that kind of judgement and that you'd like to be able to reason things out.

Your parents and their guests are people, too. When someone offers for you to try something out, accept if you haven't but warn them of your inexperience. Being negative about things leads to a narrow experience in life. And you can voice your concerns to them, you're still young. You don't HAVE to be in control all the time. I know you feel obligated to maintain that image like all young people, but if you have a hard time communicating with them you can always voice that concern and let someone like your mother independently know that you want to be liked and have confidence issues. Parents care about these things, and often they're willing to help in the ways they can.

And if you're leary about subjects, keep it general. If you're obsessed with MLP talk about how you like animation first to show them you have thoughts on the subject. A lot can be done with animation that can't be done with live action cheaply, which is why the most effective physical comedy and action is usually through animation. Ask them if they had any cartoons they liked as a kid, etc, or if there are tv shows they wish weren't discontinued. If they used to but don't like tv anymore, ask them when that happened and why they think it did, etc. Questions are how you learn about people and identify with them, etc.

Random User · 11-25-2011, 06:47 PM

I'm not entirely sure how your parents would take it, but my dad jokingly teases me about my love of MLP: FiM (as he does with my being a furry), and my mum just kinda looked at me funny. Their reactions were better than I expected when I told them I had an affinity for the show, if that makes you feel any better about it.

I can also relate to wanting to keep as much as you can about yourself from your parents, as I've been that way since for ever. I find it easier to openly discuss my strange interests to my close friends rather than parents.

Dizzy · 11-25-2011, 11:53 PM

Thank you all for the advice, I find much of it helpful and I will try it when the situation presents itself.

^It's not so much the fact that I like the show I'm hiding from them; my mom knows this. It's the EXTENT to which I like it that may freak them out. Especially when the fan art is taken into consideration: the overwhelming quantity of it would surprise you.

**Loot** · 11-26-2011, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Random User

but my dad jokingly teases me about my love of MLP: FiM (as he does with my being a furry)

Kil'jaeden · 11-26-2011, 01:40 AM

What show is it? It's the one with ponies isn't it? I had to have someone explain that to me, but I was told it is extremely popular with the 20-30 male demographic. I was surprised at that.

How much fanart are you talking about? Do you have a number, in pictures or bytes? You'd have to have quite a bit to surprise me.

The Flattest Pancake · 11-26-2011, 09:19 PM

I don't understand pony porn. -_-

But anyway, I can kinda understand why you would want to hide this whole thing from your parents. Telling them you look at odd(disgusting, disturbing, we--oops, did I say that?) fan art may shock them.

I'd recommend you keep it quiet unless you are ready to face what they have to say.

Random User · 11-26-2011, 09:21 PM

Welp... Fetishes aren't exactly something you tell your parents about.

**Loot** · 11-26-2011, 10:50 PM

Dizzy · 11-26-2011, 10:54 PM

It's not R34. It's just art.

Kil'jaeden · 11-27-2011, 12:23 AM

I think this derailed into something else entirely....

Redshirt · 11-27-2011, 02:10 AM

Hmm I don't know how you should deal with the situation. I haven't announced that I watch/enjoy MLP:FiM, though I don't hide it either it's just another cartoon to me. I doubt my parents know, but I'm sure they would just laugh or not care. Just like when I didn't mention I was watching Avatar: the Last Airbender, though probably minus the laughing part.

Of course this has been entirely unhelpful to your dilemma...

Dizzy · 11-27-2011, 02:13 AM

It really is, since that wasn't the driving force of the OP.

But thanks for trying.

11-24-2011, 12:18 AM	#1
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,162 Times in 805 Posts Blog Entries: 116	Dizzy must vent. Usually when I vent, I'm just looking for a second opinion on my hypochondria-induced disorder of the week. But now I post a problem I KNOW I have, and actually want a solution for. I'm a very introverted person. In any social situation, I like to portray myself as being aloof, and exhibiting no flaws (as demonstrated by my somewhat eloquent dialogue). As such, I will generally avoid conversation, so as to not say anything that would warrant judgement (even if said judgement is purely imagined by myself). A particularly bad case is when I'm around my parents. I prefer keeping everything I can private, whereas they are naturally very curious and paranoid. In this instance, I must carefully moniter however much information I disclose to them. If I should happen to let something slip, I then refuse to continue the reveal, which leads to them believing I'm partaking in some sort of questionable activity, when really all it is is a hidden collection of artwork proving my dedication to a particular television program. But this isn't even the thing that's troubling me. I'm just so afraid to be myself when other people are around. It leads me to the point of being depressed whenever anyone is in the house. The only time I can truly express myself with other people is on the internet. I don't want to be a complete extrovert (because honestly, I'm kind of a pervert when you get to know me), but I at least want to be able to tell people, "Hey, I like this show you don't watch". Anyway, whether or not this is a valid thing to vent about is up to you. I just needed to release some pent-up feelings here.

11-24-2011, 12:28 AM	#2
monstrman Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: LET'S SAAAAAVE THE WOOOORLD. Gender: Posts: 1,035 Thanks: 87 Thanked 53 Times in 42 Posts Blog Entries: 5	THIS IS NOT A VALID THING TO VENT ABOUT. OCTOPUSES. THE DEFENSE RESTS. And don't worry about it... I'm pretty much the same way. Especially with my parents I don't talk to them at all about anything. And as far as the fear of being yourself when others are around... maybe that's something you should work on. It's okay to be you, and you shouldn't care whether that offends people/makes people not like you/ etc. I think you're a cool guy, and so will the rest of the world!

11-25-2011, 02:29 AM	#3
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,134 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	[quote=Dizzy;1305040].....when really all it is is a hidden collection of artwork proving my dedication to a particular television program.QUOTE] That's an interesting way to put it. But really, don't feel bad. No one would want to show their mother their large collection of full color futa furry tentacle porn. It's just one of those things. I know what you are talking about. I was like that, and I still am cold toward most people. Like being alone too. Though I don't know if you are shy or just don't want to disagree with people openly. I kinda like offending people, so that really isn't the problem. As an exercise, I recommend striking up a conversation with some stranger in person. Like at and airport or on a bus, where they don't know you and will probably not see you again. Find a pretext and just throw out as many things as you like. They will either run away or respond in kind. Either way it's good practice.

11-25-2011, 05:05 AM	#4
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,102 Thanks: 2,157 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	Ask people about themselves and their interests so you have something to talk about, and learn how to appeal to them. It's the easiest way to be comfortable around others, because it's always a pleasant surprise when you show interest in others. Your dad made a decision about something important recently? If his "why" interests you at all, ask about his thoughts on the matter with the explanation that you'd like to know why he makes that kind of judgement and that you'd like to be able to reason things out. Your parents and their guests are people, too. When someone offers for you to try something out, accept if you haven't but warn them of your inexperience. Being negative about things leads to a narrow experience in life. And you can voice your concerns to them, you're still young. You don't HAVE to be in control all the time. I know you feel obligated to maintain that image like all young people, but if you have a hard time communicating with them you can always voice that concern and let someone like your mother independently know that you want to be liked and have confidence issues. Parents care about these things, and often they're willing to help in the ways they can. And if you're leary about subjects, keep it general. If you're obsessed with MLP talk about how you like animation first to show them you have thoughts on the subject. A lot can be done with animation that can't be done with live action cheaply, which is why the most effective physical comedy and action is usually through animation. Ask them if they had any cartoons they liked as a kid, etc, or if there are tv shows they wish weren't discontinued. If they used to but don't like tv anymore, ask them when that happened and why they think it did, etc. Questions are how you learn about people and identify with them, etc.

11-25-2011, 06:47 PM	#5
Random User Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Equestrian Republic of Spanglidesh Gender: Posts: 3,562 Thanks: 321 Thanked 195 Times in 143 Posts Blog Entries: 4	I'm not entirely sure how your parents would take it, but my dad jokingly teases me about my love of MLP: FiM (as he does with my being a furry), and my mum just kinda looked at me funny. Their reactions were better than I expected when I told them I had an affinity for the show, if that makes you feel any better about it. I can also relate to wanting to keep as much as you can about yourself from your parents, as I've been that way since for ever. I find it easier to openly discuss my strange interests to my close friends rather than parents.

11-25-2011, 11:53 PM	#6
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,162 Times in 805 Posts Blog Entries: 116	Thank you all for the advice, I find much of it helpful and I will try it when the situation presents itself. ^It's not so much the fact that I like the show I'm hiding from them; my mom knows this. It's the EXTENT to which I like it that may freak them out. Especially when the fan art is taken into consideration: the overwhelming quantity of it would surprise you.

11-26-2011, 01:40 AM	#8
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,134 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	What show is it? It's the one with ponies isn't it? I had to have someone explain that to me, but I was told it is extremely popular with the 20-30 male demographic. I was surprised at that. How much fanart are you talking about? Do you have a number, in pictures or bytes? You'd have to have quite a bit to surprise me.

11-26-2011, 09:19 PM	#9
The Flattest Pancake Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: (insert something witty here) Gender: Posts: 1,391 Thanks: 97 Thanked 25 Times in 23 Posts Blog Entries: 8	I don't understand pony porn. -_- But anyway, I can kinda understand why you would want to hide this whole thing from your parents. Telling them you look at odd(disgusting, disturbing, we--oops, did I say that?) fan art may shock them. I'd recommend you keep it quiet unless you are ready to face what they have to say.

11-26-2011, 09:21 PM	#10
Random User Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Equestrian Republic of Spanglidesh Gender: Posts: 3,562 Thanks: 321 Thanked 195 Times in 143 Posts Blog Entries: 4	Welp... Fetishes aren't exactly something you tell your parents about.

11-26-2011, 10:50 PM	#11
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts

11-26-2011, 10:54 PM	#12
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,162 Times in 805 Posts Blog Entries: 116	It's not R34. It's just art.

11-27-2011, 12:23 AM	#13
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,134 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	I think this derailed into something else entirely....

11-27-2011, 02:10 AM	#14
Redshirt Wiggidy Wack Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: A place with things Gender: Posts: 16,699 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,006 Times in 695 Posts Blog Entries: 50	Hmm I don't know how you should deal with the situation. I haven't announced that I watch/enjoy MLP:FiM, though I don't hide it either it's just another cartoon to me. I doubt my parents know, but I'm sure they would just laugh or not care. Just like when I didn't mention I was watching Avatar: the Last Airbender, though probably minus the laughing part. Of course this has been entirely unhelpful to your dilemma...

11-27-2011, 02:13 AM	#15
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,162 Times in 805 Posts Blog Entries: 116	It really is, since that wasn't the driving force of the OP. But thanks for trying.