My Zelda fanfiction comedy!

[Luigi, the Hero of Bling]

I posted this on the official Nintendo Zelda Forum and one person thought it was funny. So I want to see what you guys think of it.

Setting:
Hyrule caste in WW. Everything is broken up and Zelda appears in the castle after she tried touching the Triforce. This is what would happen if Zelda were to wake up in the destroyed Hyrule. She has already seen the statue of Link all broken and stuff and she is all about to cry and stuff but she is trying not to act like a stereotypical female. OK.

Just as Zelda is about to give up all hope, Link comes in all hardcore and stuff like Rambo and start shooting everything up. Tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat! Bshhhew----pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew..... BAMM! KURSPLAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Bkkkkssslsls!! Sizzle- slslllsssslsllssss*krak*ssllslssllslsss*krak*
Then Zelda runs into Link's arms and says "Ooh Link! You're my hero". Then Link says "I... am... a machine!" Then he rips his face off to reveal a Terminator!!! [T2 music]Duh duh duh du dah! Duh duh duh du dah![/T2 music] "eeeeekkkk!" Screams Zelda.

Just then Wind Waker Link appears! WW Link uses the Wand of Winds to dance his way over to the terminator Link. Then a voice says, "Round 1... FIGHT!" Terminator runs at Link and does a 23% attack rate combo! WW Link gets up and throws the Wand at terminator dealing 0% damage! WW Link follows up with a Master Sword slash to the terminator's titanium skull! The terminator Link ducks, then uppercuts WW Link through the roof!!! Ganondorf pops out from behind a pillar and says "Toasty!"

WW Link falls back down through hole in ceiling and lands on his head, causing 0% damage because there is nothing in taht big head of his to damage. Terminator Link breaks the rules and uses a fatality in the first round! All of a sudden Michael Jackson appears and takes WW Link, wraps him in a blanket and makes off with him all the while yelling "Hee hee!" Then the voice says "Terminator Link..... WINS! Pedophility!"
Then Zelda cries even more because she is such a crybaby girl! Then all of a sudden THE REAL Link appears! Link draws the REAL Master Sword and says, "There can be only one." Windows shatter behind Link as lightning appears and shocks Ganondorf. "Yeeow!" Ganondorf says as he falls on the floor all black and stuff and says "I am the President of the Gerudo, I am ready to negotiate."

"You will be terminated, Missssster Link!" Says terminator Link as he shoots at Link with his gun. Music from the Matrix plays! [matrix music]Gon-gita-gon-da-gon-gon-gon Gon-gita-gon-da-gon-gon-gon![/matrix music] Link dodges all the bullets Matrix style and the terminator runs out of bullets! Link gets up and jumps at the terminator and freezes in mid-air!!!
Then the view starts to rotate around Link, faster and faster, the view keeps rotating around Link, FASTER AND FASTER!!! Then everybody falls down because they are so dizzy except the terminator.

Link: OK From now on, all of us and the building is stationary and the camera spins around us! Then Zelda gets up and curses at the terminator and says she is going to attack him! the terminator laughs and says she is not a threat because she is just a stereotypical female of healthy breeding age, and that it can dodge her attacks as well. Then all of a sudden VEGETA appears!!! 0MFG VEGETA! Vegeta says "Dodge this!" as he puts his hand up to the terminators head and [Boom sound]BKKKKKLLLAAAAAAHAHHHAHHAHAH!!![/Boom sound] The terminator's head exploded!
Then Vegeta makes many quips, like "Ha! I guess he didn't want to talk to the hand! heh heh heh...", "He sure lost his head over that one! ha ha ha...", "That's not a good way to get ahead! heh heh heh...", "A burn in the head is worth...". "ENOUGH!!!" Everybody yells, and Vegeta says "OK".

Now, Zelda looks into Link's eyes, he looks into hers and they run toward each other. Just as they get close a warp pipe appears and Luigi jumps out of it!
Luigi tells Link, "Link, you can't fulfill your destiny just yet, you still have one more thing that you must do." Link impatiently asks "What is it Luigi? Must I resurrect Hyrule? Must I execute the leader of the Gerudo over there who is trying to hide weapons of mass destruction?" (see Ganondorf trying to hide weapons of mass destruction missile under the rug. Rug only covers one part but slides of revealing the flag of China. Ganondorf dives into skulltulla hole. "What must I do?” asks Link. To this Luigi replies "NO! Don't concentrate on the finger, or you will miss all that heavenly glory! You must shake what ch’ya momma gave ya!!!
Link: "AT LAST! I understand my destiny!"
Zelda: "Oh Link, I'm so happy for you I could cry! I think I will!"

Zelda cries. Link, Luigi, Vegeta, the body of the terminator, and Ganondorf get on the stone platform in Hyrule Castle. Then all of a sudden many women appear to form a crowd with Zelda in the front seat.
Luigi says, “wait we have no back up singers!” Just then Michael Jackson appears and says "Hee hee! I have some cute little fairy boys here with me!" Then three Tingles appear and join the rest on the stone platform. They all say, "Thank you Michael Jackson". Jackson uses his fairy magic to disappear once again saying "Hee hee!" These are the magic words that Jacko created himself, don't steal them. To which Vegeta said "Don't worry about that!", then he added "...freak!"

TIME TO START SHOW!!!

The Mortal Kombat voice says "Now, here to perform for you live, from under the waves, Luigi on keyboard, Vegeta on bass, the Link Terminator playing guitar, Ganondorf on drums, the Wind Haters on vocals, and Link the Hero of Time... uh... 3000. (???) Anyway, here they are, ladies I give you, the Land Below. (the waves! Because Hyrule is under the waves of WW's stupid storyline... huh huh huh)

Link: One, two, three, uhn! My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know fo sho!!! But does she really wanna but can't stand to see me walk ou the do'wwwwa!"

"Heeeeee-eeee-eey Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Heeeeee-eeee-eey Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The band goes through the song while all the ladies shake it like a Polaroid picture! After the show...

Luigi takes Peach home with him. Ganondorf takes the terminator to his castle to get fixed up because Ganondorf likes his style of killing people. Vegeta takes all of the DBZ women back to Capsul Corp. Michael Jackson takes the Tingles and WW Link back to Neverland. The MK voice left for another job he had to do as an announcer for CNN. The weapons of mass destruction left with the rug.

Only Link and Zelda were left. Zelda and Link held each other in their arms and gazed into each other’s eyes. Link leaned in, and Zelda too moved closer to Link.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for!
"Oh Link" she whispered as tears began to well up in her eyes, "I have been waiting so long to give this to you." Her heart fluttered and her pulse raced. She moved her head in closer to his and then...

She stabbed Link in the chest with her dagger!!! Link fell over grasping his wound that was gushing blood! Only one word came from Link's mouth, and he yelled it as he look up at Zelda with dry, courageous eyes, that were void of any moisture whatsoever, "Wwwwwwhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy?"

"WHY? Why? You ask why?" said Zelda. Zelda continued even after Link had died, "It's to show you that I wasn't weak! I am strong and courageous enough to even kill someone! HA ha! No now no one can call my series for kids ever again! Ah ha ha ha haaa!!! I am strong and now I have proven it! But, wait, what have I done? I have killed the man I love, and without a man to keep me safe, lead me, guide me, own me, and be a slave to, I am nothing but a stereotypical female! A weak and crying one at that! Whaaa waaa whaaa! What have I doooooooone?" Zelda cried for hours before finally deciding the only option was to kill herself. And so she did and she fell down onto the chest of the man she loved so dearly that she would even kill him to prove it. And thus ends the Legend of Zelda. Amen.

Meanwhile, up in heaven:
Din: "OK there! You see why I wanted to just blow the whole thing up? But no! You wanted to flood it, and YOU miss bleading heart wanted to put it in a protective bubble! This is the kind of nonsense I wanted to wipe out ya know."
Nayru and just looked down, then said, "OK OK, we'll handle it. Come on Farore."
Farore: "…shake it, sha-sha Shake it! Skake it like a Polaroid picture…"
Nayru: "FARORE!!!"
Farore: "Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Yelled Zelda as she awoke from her sleep. "Huh? wha? Oh! Oh that the Goddesses it was just a dream!" said Zelda when she found herself in her room. Also in her room was Link and he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "Oh Link, I just had a terrible nightmare" Zelda said as she began to cry. "I had a dream that I was in Hyrule, but it was under the ocean, and the Castle was destroyed, and then you showed up but you were a machine, then a kid that looked like you showed up, but he had a big head and small body, and the machine beat him up then some oddly dressed guy that looked like a Stalfos showed up and kidnapped the kid you, then you showed up, and then everything started spinning and... OH LINK I was so scared, I thought I had killed you in my dream! But what a relief that it was just a dream."
Link: "Heh heh heh... or was it?" Link spun around and there was a gash in his chest!
Zelda screamed, "IEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!"
Link said, "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME princess!"

Zelda woke up in her bed to see Link at her side. Zelda looked at Link in surprise and moved back in her bed away from him. "It's ok Zelda, I'm here, everything is going to be ok" said Link. Zelda looked disoriented and Link continued to calm her down by lightly touching her forehead. "Well, it feels like the fever has finally broken, you're going to be alright." After taking a few breaths, Zelda stuttered, "F- fe- fever? Then that dream was..." Link finished the sentence for her saying, "It was all because of the fever that has recently befallen many of the people in Hyrule." Zelda jumped up from her bed quickly in her excitement, too quickly, but Link was there to support her. Zelda said to Link, "The people of Hyrule... Please, Link take me to the window." Link did as she asked and when she looked out she saw Hyrule Market, just as busy and populated as ever, and as far as the eye could see there were green hills and sunny meadows. The only sea that could be seen was in the forest as it was a regular sea of trees. "What is it?" Link asked. Zelda replied, "I just had to see it for myself." Zelda turned to Link and said, "Link, I can't carry this weight any longer, I must tell you now." Link asked, "Tell me what?" Zelda replied, "That I love you Link. I love you more than life itself, and I want to be with you forever." Link eyes opened wide when he heard this, but he never looked away from Zelda's eyes, nor did she turn from him. She was proud of her love for Link, and Link had no shame in this either. After a moment, Link drew the words that he had been holding back for so long, "Zelda. I am happy to finally know... that you feel the same way about me as I do for you." Link smiled at Zelda when he said this, and a single tear rolled down from the corner of his eye. Zelda looked in amazement and asked, "Link, is that a tear?" as she wiped it away softly with her gentle fingertips. "It's a tear of joy my darling." Answered Link. She could take it no longer, she had to blink, and when she did her tears of joy rolled down her soft cheek. Link wiped these tears away gently, and after the had wiped each others tears away Zelda moved her arms above Link's shoulders and around him, and Link slid his arms around Zelda's back. The slip of her nightgown lifted off the floor as she stood up on her toes, with this Link said "Zelda, I shall never let you go. I will be with you forever." And Zelda in reply said, "...forever." Zelda moved forward to kiss Link, and before they did, behind them, out the window and in the sky, a faint light appeared.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The light suddenly got brighter then crashed down violently on the planet, the explosion disintegrated the entire land of Hyrule and everyone within it.

High above the planet were two space pods.
Luigi 64: (You didn't think I'd let it end with lovey dovey crap did you?) *Ahem*, Gee Vegeta, that guy you destroyed was a Hero.
Vegeta: Heroes ain't all dey cracked up to be!
Luigi 64: Yeah but that world was one of the only ones left that carried a mature series for Nintendo.
Vegeta: Ah forget it, if Miyamoto doesn't even care about Hyrule then why should I?

Just then Din rushes in and says, "WOW! Look at that! Spectacular! What a show! Wow Vegeta that was great! Good job!" Vegeta said, "*A-Ahem?!?!*", nudged Din and held out his hand motioning like he wanted something.
Din: Huh? Oh right right. OK here is you payment... Immortality!
Din then bestowed Vegeta with immortality.
Vegeta: Muh huw haw haw haw!!! I am the most powerful being in the Universe!
Then Nayru and Farore came up. "What the **** are you doing Din? We had everthing all under control!" Said Nayru. Farore added, "Yeah! Just why did you have the planet destroyed anyway?" Din replied, "Because, you can't have Link cry! What are you two, stupid or somethin'?

L64 and Vegeta go their separate ways and the Goddesses kill each other.
The End

So what do ya think?
L is real