NFL Pick 'Em: The return!/General NFL 2013 Discussion

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Calamity Panfan
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:58 pm

after vick and rodgers have gone down i renamed my fantasy team to "more QB probs than the vikings". I have now changed it to "more QB probs than the packers"

IND - easy bounce-back for them
NYJ
ATL - I hope that Atlanta isn't this bad.
DET - DA KINGS IN DA NORF
PHI - I'm hopefully picking up Nick Foles as fantasy QB this week so I hope he can keep up his magic
ARI - loljags
HOU - Texans are pretty bad, but they're still better than the Raiders
BAL - I hope the Bears lose again, because their fans pissed me right the **** off after the Detroit game.
CIN
SD - Miami might be the worst team in Florida right now.
NYG - the Packers are straight up bad right now and I love it.
SEA - lolvikes
NO - DREW BREEZIN DOWN THE FIEEEEEEEEEELD
DEN - "I was really high on the Chiefs to win this week, too. But to be blunt, I think their chances of winning just took a huge hit." ~ Reddit user madhjsp
CAR - BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO PICK ALL THE SAME AS MARCHIE
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:58 pm

March: 9-6 (98-51) (.65 8)
SML: DNP [8-7] (71-45) (.612)
Panfan: 10-5 (89-60) (.597)

New Orleans at Atlanta
Pittsburgh at Cleveland
Tampa Bay at Detroit
Minnesota at Green Bay
Jacksonville at Houston
N.Y. Jets at Baltimore
San Diego at Kansas City
Chicago at St. Louis
Carolina at Miami
Indianapolis at Arizona
Tennessee at Oakland
Dallas at N.Y. Giants
Denver at New England
San Francisco at Washington

New Orleans - dem falcons
Pittsburgh - well well, look who's back.
Detroit - I will legit give up on the season if we blow this game.
Green Bay - Tolzien gets the only win of his career.
Houston - Not even Houston is that bad.
N.Y. Jets - It's their turn to win this week.
Kansas City - oh yeah, these guys are good.
St. Louis - #yolo
Carolina - Super Scam
Indianapolis - This would be a nice win for the Colts. And the Lions.
Oakland - Meh.
N.Y. Giants - Dallas continues its mediocrity.
Denver - sry tom
San Francisco - el oh el
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:32 pm

NO - Are the Falcons officially the worst team in the NFL?
CLE - Last week was a fluke.
DET - Last week was a fluke.
GB - At least the Rodgers-less Packers are better than the Vikings. At least I hope they are.
HOU - THANKS FOR NOTHING LAST WEEK, CASE KEENUM (EVEN THOUGH I STILL OUTSCORED MY OPPONENT BY 40)
BAL - I watched the Jets game last week and I am so confused how they had a winning record.
KC - Obvious
STL - ayo **** the bears
CAR - ALL ABOARD THE HYPETRAIN CHOOOCHOOOOOOOOOO
IND - Arizona's a solid team but their wins come from really bad teams, the Lions, and a pre-hot Carolina
TEN - ugh some of these matchups this year
NYG - GIANTS LOSE SIX STRAIGHT AND THEN WIN FIVE STRAIGHT WHAT IN THE ACTUAL ****
DEN - lose by another picked-up flag for maximum lulz
SF - BATTLE OF THE RUNNING QBS. BUT WHO GIVES A **** WHEN WASHINGTON IS THIS BAD
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:14 pm

March: 5-8-1 (103-59-1) (.635)
Panfan: 6-7-1 (95-67-1) (.586)
SML: DNP [4-9-1] (75-54-1) (.581)

FULL PLATE THIS WEEK

Green Bay at Detroit
Oakland at Dallas
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
Tennessee at Indianapolis
Jacksonville at Cleveland
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Chicago at Minnesota
New England at Houston
Arizona at Philadelphia
Miami at N.Y. Jets
Atlanta at Buffalo
St. Louis at San Francisco
Cincinnati at San Diego
Denver at Kansas City
N.Y. Giants at Washington
New Orleans at Seattle


Green Bay - man, this is a depressing pick. I can't stand these guys.
Dallas - and Jerry World rejoices.
Pittsburgh Roethlisberger > Flacco
Tennessee - upset special
Jacksonville - lol, why not?
Carolina - Bucs winning streak ends at two.
Chicago - As much as I would like Minnesota to win...
New England - Houston, you have a problem.
Philadelphia - because Foles.
Miami - j-e-t-s suck suck suck
Atlanta - DON'T CIRCLE THE WAGONS
San Francisco - *shrug* As good as the Rams have looked, they won't win.
San Diego - yeah. i dunno.
Denver - lol chiefs
N.Y. Giants - rg3-9
Seattle - They don't lose at home.
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:38 pm

DET - March has given up hope. I'M STILL WITH THE LIONS. Packers are that bad right now.
DAL - meh
PIT - it's amazing that pittsburgh has a playoff shot right now
IND - Colts break a streak of bad luck (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE)
JAX - lol, why not? [2]
CAR - TB might be excited about their recent wins but Carolina is big right now
CHI - OR HOW ABOUT ANOTHER TIE!? (btw remember the first few weeks of the season when the NFC North was like the best conference in football?)
NE - Thank you Based Tom
ARI - Eagles are hot off their bye week, but Arizona is pretty legit this year
MIA - jets are pretty bad right now
BUF - lolfalcons
STL - Boom.
CIN - Bengals are too legit
DEN - Manning's gonna try to forget about last game with a killer week against the chiefs
NYG - whatever
SEA - one of those games where home field advantage makes all the difference
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Tue Dec 03, 2013 9:00 pm

March: 11-5 (114-64-1) (.640)
Panfan: 11-5 (106-72-1) (.595)
SML - quitter

Houston at Jacksonville
Atlanta at Green Bay
Kansas City at Washington
Buffalo at Tampa Bay
Miami at Pittsburgh
Detroit at Philadelphia
Indianapolis at Cincinnati
Cleveland at New England
Oakland at N.Y. Jets
Tennessee at Denver
Seattle at San Francisco
N.Y. Giants at San Diego
St. Louis at Arizona
Carolina at New Orleans
Dallas at Chicago

Houston - ugh.
Atlanta - if Rodgers is back, I'll change this pick. Doesn't sound like he will be though.
Kansas City - KC needs a cupcake.
Buffalo - playoffs?
Pittsburgh - meh
Philadelphia - can't do it.
Indianapolis - yikes
New England - GRONK
Oakland - this game sucks.
Denver - Denver v. Seattle SB
Seattle - man, Seattle is good.
San Diego - someone needs to take that #6 seed
St. Louis - yolo
Carolina -SCAM NEWTON
Dallas - how bout dem cowboys
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Tue Dec 03, 2013 9:20 pm

JAX - oh wow this might be the worst game in history
ATL - If Rodgers isn't back, THIS might be the worst game in history
KC - lolwashington
BUF - lol
PIT - why is the nfl so bad
PHI - Shootout. Two big play offenses against two bad secondaries. I'm calling 1000 passing yards during the entire game. Philly pulls it off because Foles doesn't know what an intereception is
CIN - I <3 the bengals
NE
NYJ - let's give the jets one more shot
DEN
SEA - Seattle's looking damn good but I won't be surprised if the Niners can pull this off at home
SD - watching the race for the AFC 6th seed might be as bad as watching the race for the NFC North title
ARI - idk lol
CAR - Saints took such a pounding that I'm not even sure they can manage a comeback win at the dome
DAL - chicago just lost to the f***ing vikings in overtime dallas has no excuse
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Tue Dec 10, 2013 9:22 pm

March: 5-11 (119-75-1) (.613)
Panfan: 11-5 (117-77-1) (.603)

That was quite a swing.

San Diego at Denver
Washington at Atlanta
San Francisco at Tampa Bay
Seattle at N.Y. Giants
Philadelphia at Minnesota
New England at Miami
Buffalo at Jacksonville
Houston at Indianapolis
Chicago at Cleveland
Kansas City at Oakland
N.Y. Jets at Carolina
Green Bay at Dallas
Arizona at Tennessee
New Orleans at St. Louis
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh
Baltimore at Detroit


Denver - Maybe if the Chargers were at home I'd consider them. Maybe.
Atlanta - Can these teams tie at 0?
San Francisco - el oh el
Seattle - they'll bounce back.
Philadelphia - how many yards does McCoy run for inside?
Miami - Meh, why not?
Jacksonville - How in the world is this team 4-9?
Indianapolis - Houston, you have a huge problem.
Cleveland - YOLO
Kansas City - also lol
Carolina - lol
Dallas - Romo wins one in December.
Arizona - how are these teams even remotely okay?
New Orleans - who dat
Pittsburgh - Cincy is really banged up.
Detroit - Keeping the dream alive. Flacco has been bad, Ray Rice has been bad. This is a winnable game. Lions lose this game, and I think the season is over.
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Tue Dec 10, 2013 9:44 pm

Need Detroit to win things again because Michigan season is over and my fantasy season is basically over (ARE YOU KIDDING ME BENGALS DEFENSE? NEGATIVE ONE POINT!?)

WEEK 15 ALSO KNOWN AS WHY EVEN WATCH THESE BLOWOUTS
DEN - lol
WAS - I might have to change this pick before the end of the week. Redskins have serious problems both on and off the field
SF - lol
SEA - lol
PHI - lol
NE - Remember at the beginning of the year when everybody was aboard the Dolphins hypetrain?
JAX - With three games left, there's still a possibility that the Jaguars could make the playoffs. Think about that.
IND - Colts are inconsistent but Houston is soooooo bad
CHI - as much as I hate to pick them
KC - lol
CAR - lol
DAL - ayo **** green bay
ARI - Cardinals are going to miss the playoffs despite being better than whoever wins the 6th seed in the AFC or the **** that is the NFC North
NO - lol
CIN - not as much a lol as it should be. Cincinnati might be the team I root for if Lions **** up the playoff race, despite the fact that it is in Ohio
DET - Monday Night Game in Detroit. Playoffs on the line. **** will be crazy. (I hate my brother who is going to this)
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:31 pm

Miami at Buffalo
New Orleans at Carolina
Minnesota at Cincinnati
Denver at Houston
Tennessee at Jacksonville
Indianapolis at Kansas City
Dallas at Washington
Cleveland at N.Y. Jets
Tampa Bay at St. Louis
Arizona at Seattle
N.Y. Giants at Detroit
New England at Baltimore
Oakland at San Diego
Pittsburgh at Green Bay
Chicago at Philadelphia
Atlanta at San Francisco

Miami
Carolina
Cincy
Denver
Jacksonville
Kansas City
Washington
Cleveland
Tampa Bay
Seattle
NY Football Giants - please put me out of my misery.
Baltimore
San Diego
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
San Fran

will update standings next week
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun Dec 22, 2013 12:03 am

March went 9-7, I went 8-8

MIA
CAR
CIN
DEN
TEN
KC
DAL
NYJ
STL
SEA
DET (KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE)
NE
SD
PIT
PHI
SF
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:02 pm

lions lolololololololol
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Wed Dec 25, 2013 3:04 am

There was a "Week 17 Prediction Thread" on r/detroitlions and so I posted this little lions fanfiction:

The Lions come out of their tunnel looking like the Lions normally do. The gang's all here, except for one notable person missing. The #9 we have come to know and love is gone, and in his place is a familiar #8. It turns out that the news of Jon Kitna's signing with the Dallas Cowboys was an elaborate ruse. In actuality he is returning to Detroit as starting quarterback! Matthew Stafford quit the team in a fit of rage at the news. Kitna throws EIGHT TOUCHDOWNS for OVER SIX HUNDRED YARDS in the greatest performance by any football player in history. At the press conference after the game, Kitna gives the news: "I was in Detroit for the worst season in the history of the NFL. Now I'll be here for the best season." Mayhew takes the credit for this move and fires Schwartz and Linehan. Enter Bill O'Brien and Kyle Shanahan.

Flash-forward to next season: Brilliant moves are made throughout the postseason. Our newly drafted CB and WR2 end up being Pro Bowlers. The Lions go 16-0 during the regular season, including a blowout 73-0 victory against the Packers at Lambeau. The atmosphere in Ford Field puts the so called "12th man" in Seattle to shame. Kitna, Megatron, and Reggie break countless records throughout the season without committing a single turnover. The Lions cruise through their playoff games and dominate in the Super Bowl. Kitna, now comeback player of the year, Super Bowl MVP, and Overall NFL MVP, retires and returns to his job as a humble high school math teacher.

Flash forward to two seasons from now: Our new quarterback fails to live up to the expectations set by Kitna. Penalties and turnovers that have plagued the team for the previous years have returned. 8-8. Fans call to fire O'Brien. SOL.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun Dec 29, 2013 9:25 pm

if my counts of the last two weeks are correct:

Panfan (137-89-1)
March (136-90-1)

4th quarter comeback just like whoever plays the lions
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Mon Dec 30, 2013 12:07 am

No way. Ahhhhh
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun Jan 05, 2014 9:02 pm

PACKERS LOSE

Image
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Sun Jan 26, 2014 2:05 am

Broncos and Seahawks are getting together for a Super Bowl. Like football. Not that stuff they legalized.
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun Jan 26, 2014 3:29 pm

haha because a bowl could also refer to drugs
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by Tyler » Sun Jan 26, 2014 3:30 pm

The Broncos have the offense, but the Seahawks have the defense.

Also, Crabtree.

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Post by March » Fri May 09, 2014 3:12 pm

Draft anyone? Ugh. Lions gonna Lion.
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