2014 NFL Discussion

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2014 NFL Discussion

Post by Calamity Panfan » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:20 am

Today the Giants and the Bills played a completely meaningless game to kick off a full month of completely meaningless games, which means it's officially okay to talk about football again.

From my observations, the Lions had a pretty solid offseason, have a massive amount of talent, arguably the best offense in the NFC North, and one of the better defenses in the division as well (barring the cornerbacks), with all the talent and new coaching staff they have absolutely no excuse to not have a winning season. So they'll go 6-10 (actually, make that 5-9-1)
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:18 pm

tie against whom?
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Post by Calamity Panfan » Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:52 pm

the packers at lambeau.

at least it's not a loss
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:04 pm

..dood. Best idea ever.
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Post by Auron » Thu Aug 07, 2014 12:17 am

It's time for the 15th annual Get Your Hopes Up Way Too Damn High season for Bills fans. Every year for 14 years we've said, "This year we'll make the playoffs." Although at this point, an owner who buys the team and keeps them in Buffalo is more important than playoffs.

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Post by glux » Thu Aug 07, 2014 11:02 pm

Lions 11-5
Packers 11-5 (It hurts to type)
Bears 10-6
Vikings 5-11

Kansas City v Atlanta in Superbowl

I literally pulled that all out of my ass except for the Lions, but I won't hold my breath.
FTP

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Thu Aug 07, 2014 11:30 pm

Lions 11-5
Packers 11-5
Bears 9-7
Vikings 6-10 or 7-9

AFCE: Pats
AFCN: Bengals? Steelers? Maybe the Ravens? (I don't **** know this division is bad)
AFCS: Colts
AFCW: Broncos
Wild Card teams: Texans and Chiefs (holy hell the AFC is so bad compared to NFC)

NFCE: Eagles
NFCN: Lions or Packers
NFCS: Saints
NFCW: Seahawks
Wild Card teams: second place team in NFCN, 49ers (could see Falcons here too)

i could be terribly wrong but that's my "realistic" prediction. not gonna touch superbowl yet
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by glux » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:03 am

^I wonder if we picked the Lions to win the same games.
FTP

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:10 am

I have them losing NO, [USER=17041]@ari[/USER], @NE, @CHI, @GB
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by glux » Fri Aug 08, 2014 12:55 am

I picked them losing NYG, NO, NE, @GB, and one of the CHI games.

So we were really only 1 off. I feel more confident in my prediction now.
FTP

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Fri Aug 08, 2014 1:06 am

I think they'll beat the Giants. Home opener against a middling team on Monday night? I think if they're the real deal they make a statement with that game.

Arizona was better than most playoff teams last year and the Lions seem to have a bad time playing them in recent years. I think they lose, especially in an away game.

I think all of these games are winnable for the Lions, except Green Bay. I've just come to expect that a victory will never happen in the God-forsaken city of Green Bay.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Fri Aug 08, 2014 11:35 pm

This is what the Jaguars see before they open the doors and go out on the field. It might be the most Jaguars thing ever.
Image

I just imagine the following conversation in the Jaguars office:
"Alright so we need a good slogan, something that will really pump the guys up before they go out for player intros"
"Well, in football you gotta hit people, and when you're ready to fight you make a fist. Can we do anything with that?"
"Well, for a good punch, you've gotta keep a tight fist. What about 'Keep It Tight'?"
"I dunno. Couldn't 'Keep It Tight' be considered sexual in some nature?"
"Yeah, you're right. What if we put a giant fist across from the 'Keep It Tight' sign to clarify what it means? Then nobody could misconstrue it as something dirty!"
"That's brilliant! I'll tell Jeff to start making the design."
*high five*
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun Aug 10, 2014 12:35 am

Triple post because why not? I like football. I was at the preseason game between the Lions and the Browns tonight and I have a lot of thoughts about it. Here's some things I noticed:

Yays:
- OC Joe Lombardi's offense. This is what stuck with me the most about this game. There were different formations, different looks, players were used in many different ways. Scott Linehan's offense was predictable at best and dumb/baffling at worst. I'd love to see what he has cooked up not just for our backups, but for the first team of Stafford/Johnson/Bush/Bell/Tate.
- RB George Winn deserves a bigger look in the next preseason game. This dude was player of the game by far and was looking good against the 2nd/3rd string, aside from one unfortunate fumble. I'd like to see how he does against 1st stringers in the 3rd game or so. I'm not sure if he makes the 53-man roster but he's definitely making the practice squad and looks versatile enough that he could end up going to another team and making their roster.
- RB Depth looks solid in general. Theo Riddick is the biggest story of training camp and he seems like he can be a threat in a variety of settings. Solid receiving RB. I think the RB3 spot is his to lose. But I can see Mikel Leshoure still making a roster spot. He was getting some decent reps against Cleveland's 1st-stringers.
- TE Joe Fauria looks much improved from being just a red zone threat. He's blocking better and I could see him getting more action between the 20's instead of just being a touchdown tool.
- S Isa Abdul-Quddus and S Jerome Couplin III really impressed me tonight. They were hitting hard and making plays. I'm not sure either will make the final roster but they definitely deserve closer inspection. The other safeties seemed to be missing most of the game.
- Defensive Line Depth looks terrific. C.J. Mosley was doing nicely against doubleteams from a very good Browns OL.
- The battle for the last Wide Receiver Spots is getting interesting. Kris Durham and Kevin Ogletree are the favorites right now, but Ryan Broyles looked great, and I think the WR3 spot is his to lose right now if he can stay healthy. Cory Fuller is one of the players I've seen get camp hype and his touchdown was nice. I dunno if he makes the roster though. Jeremy Ross is a roster lock because he was great as the Lions' returner tonight. There are few better ways to open a game than a 49-yard kick return. Andrew Peacock and Pat Edwards had solid plays but I don't think they'll prove to be good enough to make a roster with this competition.
- QB Kellen Moore deserves QB2 reps. He looked very comfortable at the end of the game.

Indifferences:
- Nate Freese seems to be winning the kicker battle. Neat.
- TE Eric Ebron was playing much of the game, but didn't get targeted much. I really want to see more of him in the upcoming preseason games, considering he was a top 10 pick and all.

Nays:
- The Defense as a whole underwhelmed me. They limited the Browns to field goals but pretty much everyone aside from the D-line failed to impress me much
- CB Darius Slay in particular was a disappointment. The secondary as a whole seemed lost at times but Slay in particular needs to step up his game. I could see him losing his job to Cassius Vaughn or somebody else if he doesn't get his head in there.
- RB Steven Miller had some great plays against the Browns' 3rd stringers but he looked terrible before that. With Winn being as good as he was this game I don't see him finding a job with this team.
- QB Dan Orlovsky looked terrible. He can't pass well unless it's a super-short pass, and even then he struggled. I think QB2 by the end of preseason will be Moore.

I don't know why I wrote all that. Like two other people here are Lions fans.

Oh and lastly one Big Fat Nay to the media. I'm lucky that I watched the game at Ford Field because apparently it was just one big Manziel-sucking affair. I heard that the commentators praised Johnny Football for knowing where his **** helmet is
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by Calamity Panfan » Sat Aug 16, 2014 2:14 am

second preseason game, spoilering my thoughts for non-Lions fans to ignore:

[spoiler]
Yays:
- QB Matthew Stafford played a really garbage Oakland secondary tonight, but he still looked like the real deal this year. 9/10 on his passing with 2 TD's. The one incomplete pass was a dropped ball from Reggie Bush.
- QB Dan Orlovsky (!?) went 8/12 with an average pass of 12.8 yards. He was not his usual garbage self today.
- I am in love with WR Golden Tate and I don't care what anybody tells me. The Stafford/Tate TD on the first drive was a thing of beauty. Tate got great separation and Baby Fat Matt threw a perfect ball to him.
- Wide Receiver Depth. Last week I raved about running back depth. This week I will rave about receiver depth. Twelve different players caught passes tonight on the team. Tate was great. Kevin Ogletree and Kris Durham caught their targets (Durham's TD grab was great. He looked like Fauria on that play.) Jeremy Ross proved that he can be useful as a receiver as well as returner with 42 yards on two targets. Ryan Broyles is gunning for Ogletree/Durham's roster spots. Corey Fuller looked nice as well. Jordan Thompson, Andrew Peacock and Patrick Edwards are pretty much guaranteed to be practice squad/not make the 53-man roster, but they all had nice plays.
- TE Eric Ebron looked a lot better than last week. He caught both of his targets and got 37 yards on the night.
- TE Joe Fauria did not get any targets because the Lions know he has glue for hands. I watched him block tonight and he's definitely improved in that regard.
- RB George Winn didn't have quite the night that he did last week, but he made his presence known on special teams.
- S James Ihedigbo looks to have been a nice addition to the roster. He ended the Raiders' first drive with an interception.
- CB Rashean Mathis made some mistakes, but he was playing relatively solid defense throughout. Made some nice plays and broke up passes (including the pass that led to Ihedigbo's interception).
- DE Larry Webster is a beast. Last week after hitting Johnny Manziel, Johnny Football had to go see a trainer. Today he had a massive hit on Derek Carr that knocked him out of the game.

Neutral Zone:
- The Kicking Situation is still not settled. Nate Freese missed an extra point but made a 55-yarder. Giorgio Tavecchio made his field goal.
- QB Kellen Moore did not look like the stud he was last week. But he wasn't particularly terrible either.
- The Lions' D-Line Experiment this week was interesting. DE George Johnson started in Ziggy Ansah's spot and DT C.J. Mosley started while DT Nick Fairley went with second-stringers. I didn't pay super close attention but it wasn't too bad. George Johnson got beat but that spot is locked up once Ziggy's 100% healthy anyway.

Nays:
- The Running Game was completely nonexistent tonight.
- The Secondary also gave up way too many plays. This might be the biggest problem the Lions have to deal with throughout the year. S DeJon Gomes is out with neck injury, so if the Lions' keep four safeties, the last two spots are now between Jerome Couplin, Isa Abdul-Quddus, and Don Carey (who were all more-or-less missing from this game).
- The Second Team O-Line looked atrocious at times. Pray for a healthy O-Line.
- Penalties are bad. Somebody tell that to the defense, please. They gave up way too many free first downs, including a 12-man on the field penalty when the Raiders were settling for a field goal.
- Meanwhile, somebody please tell The Refs how to do their jobs. Screwed the Lions out of a fumble late in the game. Gave the Raiders a first down they shouldn't have had (even on an official review). Also the Raiders' line LOVES to hold but it was rarely, if ever, called.
- I already called out the running game, but I think RB Mikel Leshoure is out considering Winn's breakout weeks and Riddick's versatility. Sorry it didn't work out, Mike. It's not you, it's us (actually it's you. You're not very good.)
- One of the reasons Oakland won was because The Raiders Think Preseason Football is Serious Business. They decided to put their starters in against the Lions' third string defense. Okay then, play your starters so you can win a meaningless exhibition game.
- Detroit Channel 7 Newscasters. I honestly missed the duo of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. That's how bad this game was. These guys were unbearable tonight, and they spent the night mispronouncing players' names and spouting general nonsense. Highlights include calling Mikel Leshoure "Mikelshoure Leshoure" and actually saying the words "That's a lot of receiving touchdowns. Especially for a wide receiver."
- The Detroit Tigers. They lost another bad one today. I know it's the wrong sport, but **** I'm getting sick of losing.[/spoiler]
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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Post by March » Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:43 pm

season starts Thursday. time to irritate all the Packer fans.
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Post by Gumchum » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:06 pm

I've made peace with the fact that the Dolphins are going to suck yet again this season; it's like the seasons or the tides, really. But anyway, here's how I imagine Miami's season playing out:

WEEK 1: vs. New England
Tom Brady shreds the Dolphins defense in his fancy Ugg shoes, then drives to the beach and shoves Ryan Tannehill's face in the sand. Dolphins lose (0-1).

WEEK 2: at Buffalo
Dolphins pay a visit to the team with the dumbest nickname as the nation moves on with its collective life by watching something more important, like a Home Improvement rerun. Dolphins win (1-1).

WEEK 3: vs. Kansas City
The muggy South Florida weather makes Andy Reid's mustache sweat. Dolphins lose (1-2).

WEEK 4: at Oakland
While the O.Co Coliseum's plumbing fills both locker rooms with raw sewage, the Fins mop up the NFL equivalent of raw sewage. Dolphins win (2-2).

WEEK 5: BYE
Hey, Dolphins didn't lose this week.

WEEK 6: vs. Green Bay
Dolphins should discount double-check themselves before they discount double-wreck themselves. Dolphins lose (2-3).

WEEK 7: at Chicago
Cutler sulks on the sidelines after realizing there's a quarterback out there who's better than him at getting sacked. Dolphins lose (2-4).

WEEK 8: at Jacksonville
The Fins prove Florida ain't big enough for two terrible teal-clad teams. Dolphins win (3-4).

WEEK 9: vs. San Diego
Failup Rivers is second banana in San Di-AH-go to Ron Burgundy. Ryan Tannehill is second in ME-ah-ME to the entire Heat organization, plus that pretty lady on the beach. Dolphins lose (3-5).

WEEK 10: at Detroit
Calvin Johnson tries his best to lay waste to the Dolphins secondary, but remembers he still has Matthew Stafford "throwing" to him. Dolphins win (4-5).

WEEK 11: vs. Buffalo
The NFL Network continues its tradition of bringing you the worst possible games it can every Thursday at 8/7 Central. Dolphins win (5-5).

WEEK 12: at Denver
Between plays, Peyton Manning watches the Fins' hapless O-line and thinks, "There but for the grace of God..." Dolphins lose (5-6).

WEEK 13: at New York Jets
Geno Smith becomes the Big Apple's latest QB pariah as clueless fans chant, "WE WANT TEBOW!" Dolphins win (6-6).

WEEK 14: vs. Baltimore
Quoth the Ravens,
"Wait, are these guys serious?"
Dolphins lose (6-7).

WEEK 15: at New England
The Fins try to prove their first loss to the Pats was a fluke. It wasn't. Dolphins lose (6-8 ).

WEEK 16: vs. Minnesota
Dolphins coaches have already begun cleaning out their offices. Adrian Peterson rushes to lend them a hand. Dolphins lose (6-9).

WEEK 17: vs. New York Jets
For the third season in a row, the Dolphins season mercifully ends against the Jets. To the surprise of no one, this game ends the same as the season: belly-up. Dolphins lose (6-10).

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Post by Auron » Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:38 pm

As much as I think the Bills will be bad this year, I see Miami splitting with them more than sweeping them, especially considering they got swept by the Bills themselves last year.

Then again, I'm biased and so are you. So whatever.

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Post by glux » Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:21 pm

[QUOTE="March, post: 1487030, member: 31242"]season starts Thursday. time to irritate all the Packer fans.[/QUOTE]
And you're doing a damn fine job.
FTP

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Post by Deku Tree » Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:25 pm

I am pleased with the Texans acquisition of Ryan Mallet.

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Post by March » Thu Sep 04, 2014 11:49 pm

Packers are the worst team in the NFL. #blessed
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